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Welcome to Phoenix Rising!
Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of, and finding treatments for, complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia, long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.
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Blog entries by Carrigon
I had met someone recently. And he led me on for a few weeks, really making me believe we could have a relationship. And then tonight, he said to me that he thought about it and he can't deal with my disability. He can't deal with the fatigue. So, I've just been crying all night over it. He...
Owwwwwwwwwww. Went foodshopping yesterday and flaring into today. Got the usual flare up last night. Pain, tons of pain. Feels like someone is ripping every nerve cell out of my body. People who don't have this never understand. It literally feels like someone is ripping apart the nerve...
I went to Walmart with a friend today. I knew I was risking a flare, but I had a five dollar gift card to use up. So we went to Walmart. Started walking around, smelled a million chemicals and toxins. Started to get a headache. Then, started to flare up badly. By the time we were at the...
Since alot of us are sick, we're usually looking for something we can do from the bed or couch. Many of us turn to ipods or the new netbooks.
My experiences with the fake ipods are mixed. They are never worth what you spend on them. And the business of fake memory in them is hotter than...
That was me today, I got confused in the city and drove the wrong way down a one way street. Could have gotten killed, but no one was coming on my side and I was able to make a fast U turn. This is why I do not belong driving. I get confused.
I went down to apply for Medicaid today. So...
Went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescrips today. I was told my pain med has doubled in price to fifty six dollars a bottle and my insurance will not cover it. There is no patient assist for it because it's an odd med that hardly anyone gets anymore. Yeah, because it actually works on this...
Destiny is a very strange thing. Sometimes in your life, you come to a crossroad, and you can see that crossroad. And you get to make a choice. How much of that choice is free will and how much of it is destiny, I've never been sure. What I do know is, if I hadn't gotten sick, my life would...
I missed a friend's wedding today. Too sick to go. And I feel like she doesn't really get it. So many people around me don't understand that I really have a hard time with driving and parking. And large crowds and noise and all that. They just keep expecting me to act like a healthy person...
I've been thinking alot lately about how my grandmother ate and why she was never sick, ever.
I lived with my grandmother from about age ten till she passed away when I was about 23 or so. During all that time, she never got a cold and she never got a flu. It was incredibly rare for my...
This is a prime example of what happens to me if I have to do things in real life.
I had to go to a tenants meeting on Tuesday morning because we're having a problem with a mentally ill person on our apartment floor. He has a long history of having been institutionalized and a long history...
Do you ever feel alone, even when you are with a crowd of people? I feel that way so much now. No one understands.
My friend and her daughter picked me up for dinner tonight. And her sister in law joined us, but even so, I felt alone. Totally and utterly alone. None of them were in the...
Massive flare up. My lawyer forced me to do the Post Bankruptcy Filing Credit Counseling Teleseminar. I qualify under the disability provision to be exempt from all that credit counseling stuff, including having to go to the courthouse, but my lawyer refuses to believe that I'm too sick for...
I had to cave in and take the pain med. And basically been crying from the pain and a thousand other reasons. There is no escape, no help coming. It will not go away.
I went to Walmart today. I thought getting out on a nice day like today would make me feel better. It didn't. I was...
I never got to go to my high school prom. I had actually skipped a year of high school and it was by accident. They had accidentally put me in classes a year ahead, and because I was a straight A student even in those classes, when they realized what they had done, they let me graduate a year...
To see the world through broken glass and shattered dreams.....
Having CFIDS/ME reminds me of the children's fairytale, The Little Mermaid. The little mermaid was told she could be human if only she would give up her voice and every single day of her life on land would be spent in severe...
People always ask me to describe a flare. And since I'm in one today, I'm going to describe it.
Woke up like I had no sleep, so the fatigue is on. Fatigue so bad that I cannot walk across this apartment, can't do anything but sit or lay down. Fatigue in the limbs, trouble moving arms, they...
Mini rant of mine. Just something that drives me crazy. When someone, like one of my idiot relatives makes a comment to me when they have a very rare case of being mildly sick with something like a forty eight hour bug or a regular cold, just something where in a few days or week tops they are...
I think it's important to blog about this in so many ways. I was always a workaholic. I was a straight A student and had a 4.0 in college. Anything I ever had to do, I'd give it a hundred and ten percent. Not being able to work is horrible. I would love to find something I can do for money...
So sick today and full of brain fog. The neighbors are doing me in. I finally went over to the office and filed a complaint. It's bad enough that they keep me awake, but when I try to make up for some of the sleep in the morning, they start in again. I told the office people, I just want to...
Flaring badly tonight. And my loud neighbors and this disease do not mix. They finally turned their junk off. I live in an apartment and for the last month, my neighbors have decided to blast their tv through my bedroom wall. I asked them nicely to please stop doing it about a week and a...