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My stress is becoming all consuming

The last week has been completely consumed by horrible, stressful thoughts about Jenna.

The first time that I met her was a non event, she was just part of a group that I hung out with.

The loss of my two Erasmus friends at the end of last term, led me to look for other people who were potential friends, and Jenna was number one on the list.

So I made an effort to spend time with her and get to know her better. I thought things were going well, her friendship even led to an energy boost, which doesn't happen easily.

Then when suggesting meeting up for lunch, she defensively displayed a clear uncomfortableness with this prospect, almost as if the offer was insulting.

In the last week I have gone back and forth between deciding whether to freeze her out, or try to put this behind me and be friends.

The confused nature of why this has happened, hasn't been helped by the contrary nature of her avoiding the library recently, where we meet occasionally, compared to how well we have got on at recent nights out.

Now, I am so stressed about this, very hurt and dreading what is to come. I don't know how to escape this thought process, at the moment.

Comments

Do you feel comfortable enough to just bring up the topic to her and find out what her feelings are?

It might at least help you move on if she had decided to end the friendship or you might find out that she's just upset and there's some misunderstanding that can be worked out.

If she's an honest person it will help to give you some resolution to the issue and could could strengthen your friendship or help you move past it. Either way it would relieve you of this kind of limbo of not knowing exactly where you stand with her.

If you feel comfortable with giving us an update on how it goes that would be appreciated. I do hope for your sake that it's just some misunderstanding.

Judee
 
Do you feel comfortable enough to just bring up the topic to her and find out what her feelings are?

It might at least help you move on if she had decided to end the friendship or you might find out that she's just upset and there's some misunderstanding that can be worked out.

If she's an honest person it will help to give you some resolution to the issue and could could strengthen your friendship or help you move past it. Either way it would relieve you of this kind of limbo of not knowing exactly where you stand with her.

If you feel comfortable with giving us an update on how it goes that would be appreciated. I do hope for your sake that it's just some misunderstanding.

Judee
So, I took your advice and arranged to meet with her. We had lunch today, I was expecting her to ask why I wanted to see her, but she didn't, and I didn't bring it up.

We just chatted, which was nice, and I will be seeing her later tonight as well. Just the fact she was happy to meet today and then see me again tonight was more than enough.

I am now happy with where things are, and just presume that it was my insecurities making a mountain out of a molehill.

Thank you for your advice. Things have worked out as best as they could have done.
 

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carvahlo
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