Merry Chronic Autoimmunity

This Christmas family gathering was especially dysfuncional. My aunt suffers from a bad case of Rheumatoid Arthritis (I hope I got the h´s in the right places with these words!). What I first witnessed was that she arrived with watery, reddish eyes. Soon she was telling to my mother how MMS has failed and the doctor has confirmed her bones are worse and she has submitted to his allopathic treatment which she hates (because of the so called side effects). Telling her that she wont be able to work soon.

My aunt has developed large patches of dark skin and he is CONSTANTLY scratching her skin, when not rubbing her extrememities. These patches look awful. I always wonder how she looks naked and how are they are doing in their marriage. She got the illness young and is around the 35´s now.

In the middle of the Christmas dinner my aunt left the table and lied down in the same room than us in a sofa, covered herself with a blanket and waited for the drugs to make a dent on her rheumatic fever. I felt bad because I didn´t say anything and it felt like I wasn´t being empathic with my chronically ill relative, but everyone in the table also ignored her and I didn´t know what to do. Eventually her husband went there and they had a brief and louder than normal exchange. My grandmother and my mother told her that she had to be "optimistic" about this new treatment (which is just immune supression as you would imagine, although some people say it helped them). She was still crying then but stopped and recovered enough to be around and fake normality in less than an hour.

Just something that happened in our Christmas dinner. The ambient overall wasn´t especially unpleasant (our family reunions usually suck anyway, although this time my uncle put a video of a comedian on the TV that made us laugh genuinely). But since I know I have autoimmunity brewing inside and after all she is my aunt (we have never been close or anything) it is a tragic sight. I would like to help but I haven´t even cured myself yet so I don´t feel confident at all to talk to her about it and I feel like she does not respect me much anyway. Maybe that is just an assumption though...

Comments

Families - weird places, aren't they? Definitely need a 'grok' response to this one - I can't 'like' it!

My best family Christmases were with a friend and her family, not my own. Then her children had children and they all moved away.

I'm content now to spend my time with my cats and the occasional visit from friend(s) and phone calls from other friends and younger brother. I don't think I spent Christmas with my family after leaving home at 17.
 
Hah! I also can´t feel satisfied liking some content. We need somenthing else right?

That´s sad MeSci, but also is good in a way. You broke free. My family is dysfunctional and unhealthy but I want to help them. I feel like I am a crucial player. Healed I will heal and ill I will further worsen the terminal situation of my family (inner and outer circles).

Even if I had to get away from them to heal (which looks like) I would come back once better to try to heal our family. I feel responsability for these people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok Ahh very cool MeSci!! Would you recommend the book? I considered it in the past. Good literature always brightens me.
 
I don't know if anyone succeeds in changing their dysfunctional family. Make sure you don't endanger your own health through trying. Many people have had to distance themselves from their families for their own health and sanity. I am one of those.

I can't take credit for starting to use 'grok' - I think it might have been Alex3619. The book is good though.
 

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