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Truth shall set you free... but first...

Since I had reason I pondered. I wondered, I criticized, I penetrated with hawk eyes the false and odious no longer just of the social, of the human but even the biological, the fake images we have of these entities and phenomena in our minds for comfort, have thwarted the best I could facades to meet the incredible, the insane; and yes, it's true, also beautiful and worthwhile, although this is already given enough hype to avoid the attention of the immediate and metaphysical dilemmas of an existence based on deception, in hypnosis. In recent years, as guided by a fatal hand that wants me to hurry the cup to the dregs, the suffocating and inescapable circumstances of my situation as chronically ill have led me to acknowledge not in a no theoretical way, but horribly experiential, empirical, what there is of false, hypocritical, so cruelly conformist and coward in my family and the medical corpus ...

I swear to God I would have preferred to never have had to deal with the truth of the medical system and the "incorruptible" scientific apparatus in other way than intellectually and intuitively , since they are obviously not yet the greatly proud, wise and objective savants of humanity that is intended. But then, there is a difference between diffusely sensing as you go on with your life that things "are not right", but YOUR things are right, than to be be totally fucked and kept sick by the incompetence of the supposed professionals you seek for a disease that will change its name and the amount of derision depending of the "proud erudite" that you naively visit.

And now that I wield a two-handed sword of truth against the dozen of shit doctors I've ever met, and the people who follow them despite all evidence to the contrary, I have to come out and admit that when I was healthy I thought people with chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia were some kind of depressive whiners. How sad to be part of that vast majority who do not understand the pain of others until they experience it.

Comments

Yeah thats all true. I just have a lot of anger, as it is plain to see and not just because of being ill, my life wasnt precisely fair before that as I dealt with underdeveloped social skills/assertiveness from some kind of slight autism. I do agree with what you say but at the same time I am practically in the same state now than 4 years ago when I was also young and supposedly well informed but see how nothing has changed in all these years. So every time I go to a doc for him/her to insult me I remind all of these years of me doing THEIR job and surprise surprise failing at it because I am ill and I am not qualified.
 
Oh yes in fact its been a while since I decided leaky gut was a major player in my illness. I have always been an avid google scholar surfer and have seen a lot of the evidence. I have improved in some aspects healing my gut the best I can but at the end of the day I am still a zombie of sorts, it is clearly not enough what I do. The worst part is figuring out treatments and even when I get tests having to interpret them myself, its infuriating. On one side amazing researchers drawing connections bewteen leaky gut and autoimmunity that cannot be ignored, on the other your everyday doctor that will push you sertraline and diazepam because you are a stupid hypochondriac. I wish these two types of doctors were closer, none of the docs I know reads those studies lol it is true!!!! No matter how insane it is true and talking about this to them will result in uncomfortable ego-reactions, let alone bringing an actual printed study to them, woah thats crossing the line you uncontrollable hypochondriac freak!
 
@alkt Thanks for the support I wanted to apologize for all the negativity, I feel bad projecting this to others... :/
 

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