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Incrimination: the Dishonorable Dissemination of Truth

Crime and Punishment

Back when I could read for enjoyment, Dostoyevsky placed near the top on my short list of favorite authors (Also belonging in that group were Jack Kerouac, Hunter Thompson, Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Palahniuk, and of course, the best of the bunch, William Burroughs - but that has nothing to do with anything here). The point I was going to make here and going forward has much to do with me being punished… and then as a means to further assess, following along as I take a philosophical approach, weighing things out in the style of Fyodor, the Russian writing savant.

But that seems like a lot of work. So instead, I shall do my usual thing.


Dateline: Yesterday

This is them asking me:

"Did you steal money from his safe and wallet? And did you happen to steal any of his invaluable - according to him - collector's coins?"

"Them" was the gang from social services… specifically, The Director, and a subordinate.

"He's claiming that hundreds of dollars in value are missing."

Basically, I've been accused of committing felonious crimes against a fellow resident. And guess who that might be? Well, it's a former roommate. Believe it or not, Ripley!

Police involvement may be on the agenda.

Hmmm… I wonder if they'll take me downtown?

So you know, I absolutely do not steal things. I'm not like that. I've never been like that. Yet my former roommate (Johann) is accusing me of stealing hundreds of dollars worth of…. ummm… dollars… I guess. The time frame in question? Well, apparently my thievery took place way back in October.

Since I don't steal things, I denied all wrongdoing - which makes sense. Why confess to a crime I have not committed? Unless there's some sort of precognition involved. You know, like that movie based upon the Philip K. Dick short story, Minority Report… it's the movie featuring Tom Cruise.

Oh yeah, Philip K. Dick is also one of my favorite authors. But you won't like him. He's kind of bizarre, weird, offbeat, off center, and occasionally drug-induced.

Anyways, back to thieving -

Heck, I'm the damn person who suggested we get a security camera for our room. And I'm the one who insistently reminded Johann to do a better job at locking down his possessions. A common occurrence entailed him leaving his full-of-cash wallet out on his tray table after abruptly departing from our room.

So yeah, this could be interesting, but I don't feel as though the staff members believe I am guilty.


And all the while, yours truly was fully enmeshed in a Day of Pain - Physical pain, to the extent that I necessarily ice-packed my gut in order to numb the rather unpleasant sensations.

But hey, that's just me being a complainer. And nobody likes a complainer AND a thief.


Now suddenly, mental anguish is on the agenda. Yes, it really is. And I shall explain in detail, as that's how this writing thing works.

We (the nursing home) were bought out several weeks ago. And this new corporate ownership group is intent on making this facility a post acute treatment center (more profit), versus a nursing home (where people simply go to die).

Meanwhile, I am currently residing in their sweet spot. Unit One. And because they need my room, they are relocating each of the permanent residents from my unit, over to the Unit of Death (and Post-mature Demise). The end of the line. A place that reeks of piss and vomit 27 hours a day. A locale where television volume exceeds recommended standards by a multiple of 2.374, which is excessive beyond anyone's imagination. And more often are there unacknowledged cries into the night.

Lights and Tunnels

Based on simple mathematics, I should (or shouldn't be) approved for SSI within the next 60 days or so. Either way, my plan is to leave this facility. Soon.

IF I stay here (in the nursing home, or move to a group home) after getting approved for SSI, I would receive $30 per month. IF I share an apartment with somebody, I'd receive $600. And IF I were completely on my own (apartment or homeless), I'd be rewarded a whopping $914 each month!

Yes people, that's math.

The most important thing right now is that I put together enough money to acquire teeth. Implants. Partials. Become a magnet mouth. Whatever….

Not having teeth really bothers me. Really really bothers me. Super duper bothers me.

If I am once again denied monetary compensation (via SSI), I'll have to get a job somewhere, doing something. Failing that, I need to die. But really, I believe something fascinatingly stupendous is on the verge of taking place within my realm of discontent and myriad discontinuities.

Lights Out

But wait, there's more!

None of the emergency call lights in our unit are currently working. And they've been offline since yesterday afternoon. Sooo… I spent a fair amount of time late last evening assisting fellow residents, because they had no way to call for help. Or assistance. Plus, the emergency fire doors automatically shut (same time the "help" system went down) so we are now somewhat isolated, separated from the nursing station.

UPDATE / Tuesday Afternoon: they just handed out bells to each of the residents, so if something happens, if they get into trouble, they're supposed to shake and ring their bells with religious fervor. Or whichever kind of fervor suits them best.

Picture This

I think those are enough words for now. None of you need more words. Words are taxing and tiring. So instead, I will include recent pictures from my journey down the unbeaten path. Unbeat? The path always wins. At least in this lifetime. Or unless there's vegetative overgrowth. Or erosion. Or a volcanic eruption nearby. But generally speaking, the path is unbeatable. Unless you work with a demolition crew. Or there's a sinkhole. Maybe an asteroid or a meteorite would be problematic as well.

Take care,







Each of you flower pictures were taken as part of my great escape on a recent overcast day - mostly it's the McDowell Mountains in the background - in the foreground? Flower looking things. Nature.

Then the following pics were taken at the park during a day spent working on music -






@Howard.....you're taking all of this rather well. Should we be alarmed?

Seriously, I do hope you can get your SSI and wheel out of the facility ASAP (for good). No, I don't think anyone wants you transferred to the other ward.

OK, I'll be honest, I almost feel as sorry for the police as I do you. How are they going to do anything about a robbery (so called) that occurred back in Oct.? Mow Johan down and then they'll have something to deal with....again, your patience is admirable.

What was he doing with a coin collection in a nursing home? Foolish man, yes, foolish man. I know the staff doesn't believe any of this nonsense and no, I don't believe the police will haul you off to the station.

Where was the neighborhood room racoon at the time this happened? She should be interviewed, handcuffed and hauled....well, somewhere!

Yes, perhaps you could also fill your pockets with helping out (for a fee) at the Group Home. Not so sure you'd want to share space, but then you've been doing just that for the past couple of years.

Sorry about your tummy. This is definitely NOT going to help it, is it?

Really, I hope you're recording all of this somehow b/c it could be a blog at the very least. It could be called "Wheelies" or something William Burroughs would choose. Anyway, I'm cheering you on and wishing you sunnier (they're coming) days. Yours, Lenora
How are they going to do anything about a robbery (so called) that occurred back in Oct.?

Yeah. The staff asked if he was threatening me, and I explained that he hadn't. At least I needn't worry about moving in with him once they relocate me.

Now, if they put me up with Evil Federico... fireworks are sure to follow!

Really, I hope you're recording all of this somehow b/c it could be a blog at the very least.

Yeah, although I'm not blogging all that much, I am writing plenty - documenting, etc :)
..... ALL THAT.....

I hate to say I am becoming more expert at ALL THAT, also.

Having left my husband in this FACILITY which exists to argue that he does not need any care.

There is 100$ missing. My husband had cash in his pocket upon arrival at hospitals, and it got written down but it does not seem to exist. (the cash)

Meanwhile: BOTANY 101

1) first picture is an Amsinkia .....commonly called fiddle necks. For obvious reasons related to how each flower unfurls, like its more formal term, CROZIER.
These are common first flowers in many SW grasslands....

2) love this small bush, about the only bush in the desert that has orange flowers: its so cute...in the Mallow, Hollyhock family: Sphaeralcea. And aren't the leaves super gorgeous?

3)that darn sunflower again, I really love that and MUST figure out what it is...please send FOLIAGE next time. I think it a shrub but can't entirely tell.

Dental Work Advice: Mexico. You get a friend, and a van, and head south...(with some advice that perhaps my bilingual daughter could help with).....and we find the correct place to get you some good dentures. I can understand wanting implants, and maybe that is also an option but they sure charge MEGA DOLLARS for that (up here at least). My husband got full excellent dentures in Mexico for $450. Took four days. They are better than the ones he got here.

If you need some more extractions, then, you should get an interim pair, and then after some months of healing, get final dentures which fit better. A second field trip.

I worry about low grade infections and stuff with implants. But maybe your immune system works better than some.
Because of the mess called My Husband's Stroke: I'd be trying to launch a new career: to get the profit out of taking care of sick people. This is so very wrong.

We (the nursing home) were bought out several weeks ago. And this new corporate ownership group is intent on making this facility a post acute treatment center (more profit), versus a nursing home (where people simply go to die)

The place I am dealing with is really making me mad. And if I was still functional, well I would be given them one really hard time. But instead.....
Hi, @Howard

Thanks for the update.

The other day I was listening to a story about a young man who had recently lost the use of his legs due to an infection. As a newly disabled person with nowhere suitable to go upon discharge, the hospital wanted to send him to what they called a Skilled Nursing Home. His response was, "Isn't that for old people? I'll die of boredom there!"

And in my head, I thought, that's not what I heard, Kiddo. There never seems to be a dull moment at Howard's facility!

In all seriousness, though, I am sorry to hear about the latest drama on all fronts, especially the accusation of thievery.
I have a case manager who works for my insurance whom I see once every six months and she never ever does anything besides promising to look into "things" -

we have one of those, too! So Special!

no actually we found out the insurer has no such thing as a case manager.

Instead they have a "indepdenet contractor" with a software program and they run the program and it tells them how many minutes or hours or seconds worth of medical treatment, said victim has access to...

in my husband case, all that was determined one day on Feb 17. The program says he is fine, now.
And IF I were completely on my own (apartment or homeless), I'd be rewarded a whopping $914 each month!

Can you get your name on the rent assistance waiting list somewhere just so when the time comes you'll be ready?

I worry about low grade infections and stuff with implants. But maybe your immune system works better than some.

Yeah, they're cutting into the bones where bone marrow is made. I just wonder what the long-term studies (if they are doing any) will show for people who had implants and developed bone cancer per se.
thank you for this field trip...

...but black and white pictures :eek:

...especially of the sky??? :(

Severe cognitive dissonance seeing fluff white clouds with a gray background. :(

Blue, Howard!!! Our eyes long for the COLOR blue...at least this northern girl's eyes do. Mostly all I'm seeing here right now is gray, brown, and white...way too much white.

Blue sky deficiency >>> :xpem:

I mean for making those pictures black and white...yeah, for that you should be arrested.

Edit: I'm sorry...I should have asked if you can give us updates on your situations. :)
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Hey. I am still here. I'm okay.

Out of desperation I ordered a TENS unit with ear clips.
I started taking esopramazole magnesium yesterday.
My doctor approved my prescription for liquid codeine, back on thursday, but the nursing home doesn't seem to be able to acquire any at this time.
My roommate had a psychotic break last night and all hell broke loose.
My mother went to the hospital three days ago, so I've been managing that, but she's okay and home now.
And I haven't been able to sleep since Friday or Tuesday or some day way back when, because.... ???


At least I'll be without a roommate for a while --- :)

Unless they move me over to the dreaded Unit 2 sometime soon.....

Anyway, my next blog entry will be a doozy. Whenever I'm able to coordinate the effort into the words.

My goal is to sleep today without 7,000 interruptions while listening to the jazz piano meanderings of Matthew Shipp.

Either way. I'm okay. I'm always okay. All of us are okay, until we're not okay. And when we're not okay, we're dead. And then it doesn't matter much at all.


blue - ☺️



@Howard....I have a major lead on dental work.....


Dentists on both sides of the border with offices in both places.

And if we can figure it out, somebody had a really GREAT EXPERIENCE going this route and saving alot of money.

At least it was good to hear this person had a positive experience seeking care over the border.
I've been visiting my husband, in his "adult care facility".

"Are you the wife"? asked a nurse last weekend. I felt immediately like I was wearing a big neon sign: wife who rarely visits.

My husband wants to touch me hold me kiss me and vice versa, it feels like when we first met. I see him and I just want to hold him and kiss him and just BE IN HIS PRESENCE.

I notice some of the other patients. A few are out in the hallway, milling about mostly in their wheel chairs. Nobody is using a walker that I ever notice.

An attractive lady, in her chair, with beautiful grey hair, is running through a list of names- talking into the wind- Judee? Diane?

She approached my daughter, holding the precious three month old baby. We enter this "germ danger" with Precious. I already requested a barrier be established protecting her from exposures. But everybody in the place, wants to see the BABY.

We are very conspicuous.

So the cute older lady (older than myself, therefore she is an old lady) (and so what am I?)...old-ish?...

she asked my daughter : Will you be taking care of me tonite?

And my daughter agreed that yes, she probably is.

There is another lady, and my daughter got her name. Jackie or Frankie. And now she feels she can't pass by, and not speak to Jackie/Frankie.

Last week a very big tall man rolled past. He was waiting for dinner to start, but reliving World War II it sounded like. He said he was a "True American"..as he gazed out a nearby window, but trying to check out Precious.

Heard him say something about Family who Visit. Something about Daughter in Germany (maybe that was part of the World War II recalling).

I decided to inform him that Precious is a True American, and a citizen of another country, at the same time. (two passports, three months old)

I visited my parents for 18 years in the Home that took them in. I hope my husband is only here for a few months.

Yesterday I told my husband: Next Life, let's not do this! I pretended to be holding a checklist and I checked off a box called - Nope, don't do this next time.

Laugh. We all laughed.
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