Spring of 2012

In January, I continued with the curcumin experiment I had become sensitive to it and to the parent compound turmeric. I had 6 back-scratchers in different rooms at home, one at work and a collapsible in my coat pocket. I was miserable.

I went for my second colonoscopy and a number of polyps were biopsied. It was recommended that my colon be removed and that I have an ileorectal anastomosis if the rectum could be saved. This is where the colon is removed and the small intestine is sewn to the rectum. It is generally tolerated reasonably well, but not always.

My 15 min of fame with this was being brought up at Grand Rounds at St Mike's in Toronto. I was not there. I was only the second case of Serrated Polyposis that Dr Baxter had seen and the first lady didn't make it.

I was still doing the Cutler Protocol and was up to 50 mg of Alpha Lipoic Acid every 3 hours around the clock. My poor brain had come up with the "real gem" that if I chelated hard and removed the mercury then the immune system might do something about all the precancerous polyps. So I was doing super-rounds.

January and February were part of my longest super-round of 64 days.

So Chronic Fatigue, can't walk or think, employer who is not on my side, pending operation that had the potential to change my life and things were not going well on the job.

My co-workers were initially happy to see me but over the period of a month this changed when I came to be viewed as a liability. It was not a friendly place and 4 of the nurses had a meeting of the minds and they wanted me off the unit. My new Head Nurse received many visits from the "leader" of this group. For nurses they had a surprising intolerance for someone who was sick.

I was unable to be in charge because I could not function at that level. I traded my Charge duties to another nurse who liked being in charge and the stipend went to horse feed. It was win-win for her and the others as they did not want me in charge either. I couldn't do the job as it required a level of cognitive functioning that I did not have.

For one thing, a Charge Nurse needed a functional short term memory. I had to write everything down and even then there was no guarantee that I would remember to read it. Clearly, I was a liability.

I told them that I was going to get better. That it was a matter of detoxing mercury. I don't think that they were big supporters of my ideas on health.

It finally occurred to me that the hospital was going to force me back to work whether it was safe or not, whether it was in my best interests or not....or more importantly, the patients. I quit complaining about how compromised my performance was in order to get up to full-time and a full pay cheque as soon as possible.

I find it hard to write about this time in my life. It was very dark. I was sick and depressed. I was not recovering like others who started Chelation at the same time. In fact, as I passed 75 rounds I thought that there was little difference in my recovery and that maybe I just wasn't going to make it.

Even thinking about this grim period of my life gives me anxiety and so I am just going to stop.
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