What Remission Is Like: Being Scared of My Shadow


I know the feeling. When I first started to get a day or two here and there when I felt better, hope soared. But it came back again. Then three weeks when I felt better....but it came back again.
The best thing though, which hasn't completely killed hope is that now when it all comes back, it isn't as bad as before, generally. And who knows? Next remission might be longer weeks or even months.

I believe that can happen to others as well. But the return of symptoms at all can be very disheartening. We do live under its shadow I agree.
Have been searching for this very subject. Earlier this week I experienced 3 days in a row of not feeling "sick"! I was still weak, of course, due to lack of activity the past year. This came on the heels of several VERY bad days, and a period of very elevated heart rate one night. A nurse friend suggested my body was trying to reset itself, and I began to have real hope for more good days. Your comments encourage me, that better days may really be ahead, and I suppose, like recovering alcoholics, we must continue to live "one day at a time." What a crazy-making roller-coaster this "new life" is, but I continue to praise God for the good days and try to find something in even the bad days to be thankful for. (I could be dealing with cancer, as my husband is!) That's my prayer for all of us, I suppose.

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