Unwanted Christmas presents

One roll of Sir Wessely wallpaper.
Very simply you wake up each morning and there he is, staring right back at you. Your very own therapist for just 60p a roll. Some have even plastered him on their ceilings to see if he moves when the earth does.
Warning, some men have complained of premature ejaculation.

A CBT/GET kit from Peter 'where have thou gone' White - batteries not included
Warning : Some people have seriously ruined their health whilst playing this game; some have even died, but these affects are minor and usually wear off after a month. See the undertaker for further details.

A BBC radio 4 DVD broadcast from Crawley and guests - warning, may include nuts, lots of them depending on the number of guests.
Listeners be advised that the grating sound may be due to Crawley trying to attach herself to a wooden cross.
Effects usually wear off after the radio broadcast ends when she realises no-one is listening.

A full disclosure of all PACE trial data - very rare edition, only one in existence, and very badly tampered with.
Speaking of rare editions, an MRC promise of a grant looking into the causes of M.E has been found in a cave in Northern Peru next to a drawing of someone looking exhausted to the point of collapse. Some people say it could be older than the dead sea scrolls.

A cover of Sweet Little Lies ( Fleetwood Mac ) with vocals by Richard ''no, why should I'' Horton
Quicker than laxatives.

A Crime fiction thriller written by Trudy Chadler - a ''who dunnit''
Actually Trudy no one did anything, said anything or threatened anyone

Two tickets to see, in panto, AFME titled ''see no evil, hear no evil''.
''He's behind you Sonya''
Oh no he isn't
''Oh yes he bloody is !''

A decision from the NIH to take this illness seriously and move us up the funding table. Yes say the NIH, we'll move you up.
We now sit above the ''heart disease in garden Gnomes'' listing and just below ''alcoholism in nematodes''.


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