Today I actually woke up feeling pretty well rested but like my brain was full of cotton, I at least gained back most of what got hit from those small doses of cryptolepis. Had to be some kind of bacterial and viral opportunity chain reaction as I'm feeling a bit heavy with a tiny bit of the air hunger which I heard is typical of babesia. Today or tomorrow I'll hopefully get to see if I have any repeatable benefit from hesperidin and after that I do want to try a nicotine patch again. If this jump starts the entire system again and a baseline sticks then I might have an idea of what is going on. The bacteria and viral infections could be actually attacking the vagus nerve and the acetylcholine receptors and when this happens that whole basic dopamine excitory transmission just completely goes under. I might also want to see what a skin level dose of D3 (I need to rebuy the brand I had that did it that I accidentally tossed thinking I wouldn't need it anymore) and immediately after a nicotine patch would do. It could literally be a matter of knocking pathogens off a bunch of receptors and gaining back neural transmission. At least that is what based on what I'm experiencing here seems to be happening. In fact what I might do is use the hespridin today or tomorrow to see what happens, and then wait a while. Then I apply the topical D3 again and if that gets some things back online again I put on the nicotine patch and completely jump start the system, it's a bit crazy but it might work and I don't think much can go wrong. Besides craving nicotine chronically since it's one of the only things that makes this infected dysfunctional paperweight in my head feel like a human brain.
Good thing me new job hasn't begun yet cause that would have been a disaster and I only have 2 complete days off a week even though past 1:30 PM I'll have the rest of every day off unless I'm riding out the late night shifts at my old job I have currently which is becoming more and more of a struggle not to just completely quit. The store has been run into the ground and completely changed from what it once was, no one I used to know works there anymore, everything is falling apart there, the new registers and multiple one's at that have intolerable levels of radiation that make feel terrible by the end of every shift, and they aren't even hiring new people anymore leaving us with a complete skeleton crew. Essentially they're just letting it burn at this point. The new one shouldn't be too bad technology wise as it's off the main areas of the building and probably just has one old register to do things on.
The rest of today I might just go for a walk but that's about it, maybe get some takeout after. There just isn't much to do in any situation I'm currently in but wait and pace. Granted I do feel "ok" today even if it feels kind of like the dopamine circuit breakers in my brain are kind of shut down with some milk head pressure and sick feelings that's still enough to be annoying but that has been gradually getting better since the previous glucosamine disaster. Besides work stuff, I am kinda looking forward to a concert at the end of September and October and kind of not because they are kind of close in dates and usually these days even though I only go to a couple a year at the most they can still be quite the energy disaster even at a sit down show with such big sound shaking things up quite literally in my system. In fact if they don't go well at all they may be the last. Right now I'm just trying to focus on what's in front of me and finding out more medically about what is going on in body. For someone with so little to do when it comes to living a normal life I sure have a lot of crazy on my plate. My concern right now is also when I get into the new place needing to deal with inevitable awkward coworker interactions about my not so great days, symptoms, and general life. I tend to get stared at like I have 5 heads as my life to the ordinary non-sick person and all it seems to include as a priority on a daily basis makes me seem like an alien life form to others. If they get somewhat closer and they actually need to know about why I can't or need to severely limit certain things it gets even more awkward.
Good thing me new job hasn't begun yet cause that would have been a disaster and I only have 2 complete days off a week even though past 1:30 PM I'll have the rest of every day off unless I'm riding out the late night shifts at my old job I have currently which is becoming more and more of a struggle not to just completely quit. The store has been run into the ground and completely changed from what it once was, no one I used to know works there anymore, everything is falling apart there, the new registers and multiple one's at that have intolerable levels of radiation that make feel terrible by the end of every shift, and they aren't even hiring new people anymore leaving us with a complete skeleton crew. Essentially they're just letting it burn at this point. The new one shouldn't be too bad technology wise as it's off the main areas of the building and probably just has one old register to do things on.
The rest of today I might just go for a walk but that's about it, maybe get some takeout after. There just isn't much to do in any situation I'm currently in but wait and pace. Granted I do feel "ok" today even if it feels kind of like the dopamine circuit breakers in my brain are kind of shut down with some milk head pressure and sick feelings that's still enough to be annoying but that has been gradually getting better since the previous glucosamine disaster. Besides work stuff, I am kinda looking forward to a concert at the end of September and October and kind of not because they are kind of close in dates and usually these days even though I only go to a couple a year at the most they can still be quite the energy disaster even at a sit down show with such big sound shaking things up quite literally in my system. In fact if they don't go well at all they may be the last. Right now I'm just trying to focus on what's in front of me and finding out more medically about what is going on in body. For someone with so little to do when it comes to living a normal life I sure have a lot of crazy on my plate. My concern right now is also when I get into the new place needing to deal with inevitable awkward coworker interactions about my not so great days, symptoms, and general life. I tend to get stared at like I have 5 heads as my life to the ordinary non-sick person and all it seems to include as a priority on a daily basis makes me seem like an alien life form to others. If they get somewhat closer and they actually need to know about why I can't or need to severely limit certain things it gets even more awkward.
