Update on myself and why I disappeared from the forums for a couple of months recently. Don't know if it had anything to do with taking Ral or not, but at one of my dr.s appts I found out I had lost nearly 20 lbs! Fluffed it off initially, telling my self it was probably due to the unusually hot summer we had in myrtle beach. As time went on it started to wear on me. By the time my next appt with my rheumy arrived, I was a total basket case! All I could think about was that my time on this earth was drawing to a close. I demanded she run every test possible to figure out what was happening to me. I had lots of xrays, lots of blood drawn, a pelvic ct, an abdominable ct and a complete bone scan. Waiting for all the results all I could think about was dying no matter how hard I tried not to. Eventually all results came back. Apparently I know have R.A. pretty bad and less unsettling diverticulitis. Thankfully no mention of cancer yet, although I'm having an ultrasound tmrw for some calcification they saw in one of the tests. From start to finish it was nearly 2 months of severe depression over this. I couldn't join in any chat rms feeling the way I did. Just recently i've been able to starting participating again with some posts. I do want to appologize for my absence, because you are like family to me and family should be the first to know. I'm sure you would have made me feel better during those dark days. Hopefully ultrasound will be o.k. and I'll learn to live with these new symptons, like I don't have enough already! Once again, sorry for my absence, and I hope to get back to chatting real soon.