I’ve been dealing with a variety of ME/CFS symptoms for nine months and was recently diagnosed with it after extensive testing.
my fatigue is worst in the morning. I wake up and feel dead and force myself to get up. I’m faded physically and mentally before I even get out of bed so this doesn’t just happen when I stand up.
I tend to get some energy by 12:30pm. By 8pm I crash again. And my fatigue comes and goes in between.
I’d say at my worst I’m like a battery with 5% charged and at my best I reach 50%.
Do any of you have fatigue patterns like this where it’s always the worst at certain points in the day?
Takes me hours to get through the morning hell of ME, and then I’m only good for a couple of hours, assuming I even get that far. After 22 yrs sick, this last year I gave up trying to get dressed everyday, even if it took me all day. I also will go weeks w/o leaving my house. I still try very hard to do something each day, but most days I do little more than reading for a couple of hours or writing online (as a retired professor, I’m lost if I can’t do either of those at least a little bit).
I’ve always pushed too hard, a lifetime of habit, survival strategy I just can’t break - insecurity driven I’m sure (and yeah, a really powerful work ethic) - but it always down to mind over body (w/help of prescriptions - stimulants & pains meds - that most ppl wouldn’t take but I do bc if I can’t take care of myself, there is no one else) which can be self-destructive enough, & w/ME is probably a death wish. Full disclosure - I’ve had severe but high functioning PTSD, probably since I was five (I’m 63 now), repeatedly treated & them retriggered; the PTSD is managed w/therapy, but I have to admit, if I didn’t compartmentalize & disassociate to some degree, I don’t know if I could have survived this damn disease this long on my own. It’s not a great system, and I don’t recommend it; it’s no doubt why I’ve continued to worsen over the last 23 yrs, but at this point, it’s probably the only way I can keep myself from giving up - the pain is unbearable, the exhaustion is worse than ever, and the growing list of ME symptoms is getting overwhelming (plus aging which has it own nasty changes to deal with).
As my condition has worsened, I’ve struggled with a form of narcolepsy whenever I become exhausted. Once reason I don’t rush the waking up process, if I’m moving around too soon, I will suddenly drop off to sleep, even when standing. At night, the narcolepsy acts like “last call”; I have to hurry and get it bedtime ritual complete before I start dropping off. It’s such a horrible feeling, dropping off into blackness, then being pulled up again suddenly - I feel like a yo-yo, and it is accompanied by a really horrible all around tub of a feeling.
So yeah, exhaustion (I refuse to call fatigue - I’ve been fatigued all my life, this isn’t fatigue - this is the more horrible, poison running though my body, can I die now, feeling)
Isn’t it weird to have all these symptoms with out a vocabulary to accurately and fully describe them. I guess I could learn Latin. Maybe that would help. But I don’t know any words to describe the experience of exhaustion of ME, nor any of the other symptoms. Maybe we need a language of our own, w/words that we share the meaning of. I just read last night that the US government CDC has updated their estimate of how many Americans have been diagnosed with ME (so not counting all those ppl who are being told they are just mentally ill, not sick?: 3.3 million people, that’s over I out of every 100 people. This is a much higher rate of illness than most other well known neurological illnesses - including MS (>1 million) and Parkinson’s (1 million). Yet the idea that we all suffer some kind of collective hysteria continues to prevail (I don’t know about you all, but I knew nothing about ME or CFS, except that it was the butt if jokes on late-night TV)