I don’t usually jump in to give unsolicited advice, but I would be very careful with these types of thoughts.
ME/CFS is a real, biomedical disease for which there is no evidence that it can be caused by negative emotions or trauma, despite the fact that some unscrupulous practitioners may say so.
Nobody should blame themselves for coming down with this illness. Just living with it is difficult enough.
Agree 100% that it is a biomedical disease. Agree wholeheartedly that nobody should blame themselves for coming down with this illness. Remember we all have this illness, we are all suffering, disheartened, hurting, and we understand what it's like. I am with you, and I'm with all of you, and I hope nothing I say is ever construed as "this illness is in your head" or "you did this to yourself" because that couldn't be further from the points I'm trying to make. I, and all of us, understand what it's like to be told this again and again until you feel like a pile of dust and no longer a human. I'm sorry if I've ever made anyone feel like this, let me clarify a few things:
1. This illness is absolutely NOT in our heads. This is more akin to a religious claim, and anyone who says this is not a scientist.
2. No one should blame themselves ever for coming down with this illness. No one wants this hell, no one asked for it, no one deserves it. If your demons give you thoughts like that, send them my way and I'll punch them in the face for you.
3. It seems obvious to me this illness is an illness of trauma. Trauma is simply stress that leads to injury. This doesn't have to be psychological trauma, although it could be. But it could also be:
- Mold exposure
- Chemical exposure
- Surgery
- Brain/spinal malformations (Chiari, instability, scoliosis, stenosis, etc.)
- Pregnancy/labor
- Connective tissue problems
- Viral/bacterial/fungal infection
- Extreme, prolonged exercise/exertion
- Etc.
It seems like most of us have one or more of these in our past, and I believe they all put stress on the nervous system in very specific ways that lead to the nervous system eventually becoming overwhelmed and saying, "That's it. You need to rest, if you don't, we simply won't have the resources to survive this anymore." For me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that psychological trauma was one of my greatest triggers. It can't be denied that this puts enormous stress on the body, for this there
is tons of scientific evidence.
It's worth mentioning that probably
most illnesses are related to stress, so I'm really not saying anything all that different about ME/CFS, except that it seems to be the pinnacle of a stress/trauma-related illness. Tons of medical doctors and researchers believe even cancer is related to stress, since epigenetics has become a field. This doesn't mean you "did it to yourself." Did you ask to be exposed to mold? Did you know the effects it would have on you? Of course not. Even if you, like me, were living your life at the speed of light and never saying no to anything and had all sorts of unhealthy habits like people-pleasing, perfectionism, etc.--that's not your fault. But the good news is you can learn how to do life differently, and there's a chance that the stress relief you will get from it will lighten the burden of your physical symptoms.
Lastly, it seems undeniable that central sensitization is at play in ME/CFS, and that is known to be associated with stress. Remember I'm using stress to mean any kind of stress--psychological
or physiological--the body doesn't make a distinction.
Okay, I'm going to have to check out of this discussion for awhile so I can save my energy for working on my disability case, wish me luck!