Hmmm, I just got back from my psychologist who wonders if I might have bipolar II. I love my psychologist and she has seen me for many years, so she's not one to just diagnose this out of the blue and she has a good understanding of CFS and IBS issues (she was wonderful in finding specialists). But she is wondering...even with my CFS issues, she notices that my moods can change quite a bit quite quickly. I have noticed this as well. One week or even just a few days I can be in bed can't be bothered to do anything not motivated at all, looking after myself goes out the door and then the next week I'll be fine and happy as anything and motivated to do work be creative (create artwork easily). Granted I tend to feel better health wise when I am doing better. But I would say that the depression states have not necessarily come about because I am depressed about my illness, perhaps they do. It's hard for me to know really.
My CFS issues are mild to moderate these last few months, so I am able to get work done. My worst CFS issues were 4 years ago, and now I just go through bouts of mild to moderate CFS type symptoms, but now wondering if part of it has to do with a mood disorder. I definitely think I have a CFS type illness no matter what because I have had PEM after exercise and 4 years ago I had pretty much classic CFS (brain fog, aches and pains, flu symptoms every few days, nausea, food sensitivities, chemical sensitivities, chronic fatigue etc) .
I also get highly irritable and agitated at times and it feels so uncontrollable and yet "not the real me". It can come out of nowhere and I just feel like screaming my head off and then wanting to burst out crying. I've always been like this (even before I was ill), although seems to be a bit worse lately. I feel like I have had this pattern all my life of unmotivated and then high motivation but has been magnified a bit more these last few years.
There's a few reason why she wondering if it could be Bipolar II is that my father has Bipolar 1 and it is pretty rife in my dads family and I had really bad depression when I was in my teens (before any illness).
I think my psychologist noticed I had insomnia for a while (never had this issue before, only started about 12-16 months ago) and does realise this could be because of CFS but also can be a mood disorder issue. My insomnia is now quite a bit better and I cannot exactly pinpoint why this better. The only thing that I did was just roll with the punches with my depressed fatigue state and just take it easy and noticed my heightened/alert/agitated state decreased and so did my sleeping issues.
I'm also looking back at my personality and I have sort of hypomanic states, where I get burst of creativity and have ideas and need to implement them. I've been like this since a kid! I always coming up with ideas (like an entrepreneur and wanting to see my ideas come to life. I always thought it was strange my parents were not like this). My current art ranges came to me very quickly in a matter of days and didn't realise I was even able to be artistic. I mean I have always been creative, but didn't realise I had a talent in creating artwork until 4 years ago.
I'm so confused though because my depression type symptoms seem to have been at their worst these last 3-6 months and I'm not sure if it is the CFS type illness I have or actual a mood disorder on top of it. I don't know if I want to go to a psychiatrist to get evaluated. Although my psychologist has given me the name of a psychiatrist that works with gut issues, so at least they understand "the gut".
I will say, I didn't really show much depression after age 20, maybe slight depressed episodes but improved dramatically. I have always found it hard to be motivated with things and only go through burst of motivations. I only started to really notice I was getting depressed again in the last 12 months and the last few months have been pretty bad, although I can feel I am coming out of that period as well. Although, it is up and down from week to week and sometimes every few days.
My CFS issues are mild to moderate these last few months, so I am able to get work done. My worst CFS issues were 4 years ago, and now I just go through bouts of mild to moderate CFS type symptoms, but now wondering if part of it has to do with a mood disorder. I definitely think I have a CFS type illness no matter what because I have had PEM after exercise and 4 years ago I had pretty much classic CFS (brain fog, aches and pains, flu symptoms every few days, nausea, food sensitivities, chemical sensitivities, chronic fatigue etc) .
I also get highly irritable and agitated at times and it feels so uncontrollable and yet "not the real me". It can come out of nowhere and I just feel like screaming my head off and then wanting to burst out crying. I've always been like this (even before I was ill), although seems to be a bit worse lately. I feel like I have had this pattern all my life of unmotivated and then high motivation but has been magnified a bit more these last few years.
There's a few reason why she wondering if it could be Bipolar II is that my father has Bipolar 1 and it is pretty rife in my dads family and I had really bad depression when I was in my teens (before any illness).
I think my psychologist noticed I had insomnia for a while (never had this issue before, only started about 12-16 months ago) and does realise this could be because of CFS but also can be a mood disorder issue. My insomnia is now quite a bit better and I cannot exactly pinpoint why this better. The only thing that I did was just roll with the punches with my depressed fatigue state and just take it easy and noticed my heightened/alert/agitated state decreased and so did my sleeping issues.
I'm also looking back at my personality and I have sort of hypomanic states, where I get burst of creativity and have ideas and need to implement them. I've been like this since a kid! I always coming up with ideas (like an entrepreneur and wanting to see my ideas come to life. I always thought it was strange my parents were not like this). My current art ranges came to me very quickly in a matter of days and didn't realise I was even able to be artistic. I mean I have always been creative, but didn't realise I had a talent in creating artwork until 4 years ago.
I'm so confused though because my depression type symptoms seem to have been at their worst these last 3-6 months and I'm not sure if it is the CFS type illness I have or actual a mood disorder on top of it. I don't know if I want to go to a psychiatrist to get evaluated. Although my psychologist has given me the name of a psychiatrist that works with gut issues, so at least they understand "the gut".
I will say, I didn't really show much depression after age 20, maybe slight depressed episodes but improved dramatically. I have always found it hard to be motivated with things and only go through burst of motivations. I only started to really notice I was getting depressed again in the last 12 months and the last few months have been pretty bad, although I can feel I am coming out of that period as well. Although, it is up and down from week to week and sometimes every few days.
