Massive flare up. My lawyer forced me to do the Post Bankruptcy Filing Credit Counseling Teleseminar. I qualify under the disability provision to be exempt from all that credit counseling stuff, including having to go to the courthouse, but my lawyer refuses to believe that I'm too sick for all this and he wouldn't file the extra paperwork to exempt me. He actually looked me up and down and said that I was perfectly physically capable of doing all this stuff, including, he expects me to walk more than two block to the courthouse if my friend can't take me and I have to park in the scary enclosed city garage. You are not allowed to take a cellphone into the courthouse, so I can't take a cab and then call for one to come and get me. Too expensive to make one wait a few hours. I just hope my friend will come through for me that day.
So, this morning I did this awful teleseminar thing they force you to do after you file. They send you a workbook that's about between fifty and seventy five pages long. You are expected to read and retain what you read in it. Then you have to answer all these questions from it. Oh yeah, try that with severe cognitive problems and short term memory loss. I have reading retension problems. Not so much with short articles, but when I'm expected to read anything book length. The stress of this almost killed me.
They did allow me to do the actual questions online, but it's fifty questions, plus another twenty five at the end. So seventy five questions total. Took me about an hour and twenty minutes to do it. Would have taken longer if I hadn't read the workbook, but they make you reread it online as you go along. At the end, the last twenty five questions, if you don't have the workbook, you can't review anything. I would have failed it, if I hadn't been able to look stuff up. But I did pass it.
The real horror, was that none of this stuff applied to me. It's all geared toward healthy, working people who just screwed up their finances. It's not geared toward disabled people who can't work and can't have kids, or people who have lost family members to death. So all this stuff was about pension plans, 401k's, how to plan your budget for your child's future, how to figure out your working taxes from your job. Just all this stuff that I can't do, can't have, can't participate in. So, to me, it was an exercise in extreme cruelty. It's like being forced to face all the things in life you can't do or can't have. I'm too sick. The whole thing has contributed to a massive flareup.
The length of time I had to do this was too long. I don't last two hours at anything and I started to really feel it past the hour. And I was so stressed. People don't understand that for those of us with cognitive problems, we have to concentrate a thousand times more than a normal person does and even then, you can't force your brain to retain things. I think that's the worst part. I can't make people understand that I really have severe cognitive problems. You can't tell that from looking at me. But I really have problems with short term memory, reading comprehension and retension, audio processing disorder and sensory overload. I'm scared of going to the courthouse because I know it's going to flare me up and I hope I can answer the questions they ask me.
I am in so much pain. Pain all over, alot of muscle and joint stiffness, fever all day. My glands in my neck hurt like hell. And I had a light nose bleed. I don't usually get nose bleeds unless I'm really stressed, then I get them. The idiot doctors have never cared. Bad fatigue. I can type this, but if I try to move my arms or hands, everything feels like I have lead weights on them. Light and sound sensitivity. I'm really suffering today.
I called an old family friend because I thought it would make me feel better, but she doesn't have this illness and is so clueless that she always makes me feel worse. It's just, I hardly have anyone left to talk to now. She always acts like I'm being a hypo when I tell her I'm sick. And her answer for everything is get out there and join things, meet people, get a life. I can't. All the things in life that are supposed to make life worth living, I can't do them. The disease won't let me.
So today sucked.
So, this morning I did this awful teleseminar thing they force you to do after you file. They send you a workbook that's about between fifty and seventy five pages long. You are expected to read and retain what you read in it. Then you have to answer all these questions from it. Oh yeah, try that with severe cognitive problems and short term memory loss. I have reading retension problems. Not so much with short articles, but when I'm expected to read anything book length. The stress of this almost killed me.
They did allow me to do the actual questions online, but it's fifty questions, plus another twenty five at the end. So seventy five questions total. Took me about an hour and twenty minutes to do it. Would have taken longer if I hadn't read the workbook, but they make you reread it online as you go along. At the end, the last twenty five questions, if you don't have the workbook, you can't review anything. I would have failed it, if I hadn't been able to look stuff up. But I did pass it.
The real horror, was that none of this stuff applied to me. It's all geared toward healthy, working people who just screwed up their finances. It's not geared toward disabled people who can't work and can't have kids, or people who have lost family members to death. So all this stuff was about pension plans, 401k's, how to plan your budget for your child's future, how to figure out your working taxes from your job. Just all this stuff that I can't do, can't have, can't participate in. So, to me, it was an exercise in extreme cruelty. It's like being forced to face all the things in life you can't do or can't have. I'm too sick. The whole thing has contributed to a massive flareup.
The length of time I had to do this was too long. I don't last two hours at anything and I started to really feel it past the hour. And I was so stressed. People don't understand that for those of us with cognitive problems, we have to concentrate a thousand times more than a normal person does and even then, you can't force your brain to retain things. I think that's the worst part. I can't make people understand that I really have severe cognitive problems. You can't tell that from looking at me. But I really have problems with short term memory, reading comprehension and retension, audio processing disorder and sensory overload. I'm scared of going to the courthouse because I know it's going to flare me up and I hope I can answer the questions they ask me.
I am in so much pain. Pain all over, alot of muscle and joint stiffness, fever all day. My glands in my neck hurt like hell. And I had a light nose bleed. I don't usually get nose bleeds unless I'm really stressed, then I get them. The idiot doctors have never cared. Bad fatigue. I can type this, but if I try to move my arms or hands, everything feels like I have lead weights on them. Light and sound sensitivity. I'm really suffering today.
I called an old family friend because I thought it would make me feel better, but she doesn't have this illness and is so clueless that she always makes me feel worse. It's just, I hardly have anyone left to talk to now. She always acts like I'm being a hypo when I tell her I'm sick. And her answer for everything is get out there and join things, meet people, get a life. I can't. All the things in life that are supposed to make life worth living, I can't do them. The disease won't let me.
So today sucked.