They found something growing in the lungs

[sunshine44]

Sending you SO much love and light. What a story you will have to tell one day! You've got this. I wish you lots of healing vibes.

 

[Jyoti]

Not to diminish in any way the seriousness of that with which you are contending @HABS93, but there is an amazing interplay between our emotional state and our physical experience. I would imagine you are pretty nervous about what lies ahead, which in turn could be leading to physical tension which in turn tends to create additional and very real physical symptoms. Whenever I am in a situation where there is medical uncertainty that scares me, I just have to keep that in mind, keep returning to the possibility that part of my experience is being generated by the tension/fear that arises out of that uncertainty . It doesn't necessarily make things better, but it sometimes keeps them from getting even worse!

We are all here for you, rooting for you, with lots of confidence that you are going to be able to beat this and come out on the other side much healthier and freer.

 

[Shoshana]

Thank you for that update, @HABS93
It was good to hear from you.
Hang in there. We are all thinking good thoughts for you!

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

@HABS93
Don;t be scared, HABS, you're going to come thru all right. You most likely have NHL, large B cell, which is emminently treatable, and even more so these days. Make sure that they give you Rituximab along with the usual CHOP chemo.

Not exactly a block party, but it does the job remarkably well, and the worst is over pretty quickly. The rest is just a slog.

Please do keep us posted, yes?

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

@HABS93 , @Jyoti

Whenever I am in a situation where there is medical uncertainty that scares me, I just have to keep that in mind, keep returning to the possibility that part of my experience is being generated by the tension/fear that arises out of that uncertainty . It doesn't necessarily make things better, but it sometimes keeps them from getting even worse!

@Jyoti is absolutely right. I think the stomach stuff may be the intense tension and fear you're feeling ahead of the Great Rift Valley of unknowns.

Believe me, you'll take it all in stride, and it'll be over, and you'll be, and feel, a whole lot better !!!

 

[HABS93]

Thanks guys The symptom's mask my emotions like lymphoma causes nasty symptom's. My phobia is be put under so this biospy got me thinking alot. The stress of worse things happening also haunts me. I'm happy I'm off work until after treatment tho

 

[Moof]

My phobia is be put under so this biospy got me thinking alot. The stress of worse things happening also haunts me.

It might be useful, as you go through treatment, to find a lymphoma-specific message board to compare notes with? I haven't had cancer myself, but close family members have; they found it was really important to have support from people who really understand what it's like being in the middle of a scary diagnosis, especially the emotional stuff. It's hard to talk with family and friends about worst-case scenarios, but it inevitably goes through your head, and you should be able to voice it if you want to.

My friend has had breast cancer twice, and of course it comes fairly naturally to women-only, predominantly middle-aged groups to support one another and enjoy some gallows humour about it all. Younger people, especially younger guys in a mixed treatment group, may not fall quite so easily into a comfortable group who catch up with each other at every appointment. It might happen, of course, if you meet someone you really click with – but if you do feel a bit isolated, there'll be plenty of people online who're at the same stage as you, and others who've already done it.

By the way, my friends who've had breast cancer and lymphoma are all well past their five-year remission dates. Even the relative who had triple negative breast cancer, which is one of the really dangerous ones – she's coming up to 12 years cancer-free. Treatment is so much better than it used to be, so whilst it's okay to be scared and okay have dark moments, you are going to come through this!

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

@HABS93

The stress of worse things happening also haunts me.

I don't think there's anything too much worse than what you're going thru right now. There is little that's more frightening then the unknown, and this is a big, gaping, unknown for you.

Let yourself feel the fear, but don't let it own you.

Easy to say.

When you feel it, give it a minute, and then start constructing positive thoughts or images or both about how easy this is going to be, and how much better you're going to feel after. Know that this is a bump in the road, not a deep, dark, dank pit.

 

[Shoshana]

I am thinking of you, @HABS93
This situation is hard, and will surely feel scary, at times.
We are hanging in with you, and hoping you will feel so much better, after this difficult process is behind you.

 

[HABS93]

Biospy tomorrow. There's a possibility it's scardosis due to the nerulogical factor. Also doctor is testing for paraplastic panel for mayo as well

 

[Moof]

Good luck, @HABS93! We're all rooting for you.

 

[Shoshana]

It's very good to see you and to read your update, @HABS93
And it sounds like they will get a lot of very useful info for you, from this procedure.
We are definitely on your side.

When i get scared before a procedure like that one, i tell myself (and repeat to myself)
that i do want the info, and that i am worth it, and it's worth it to try to fight for myself.
You are worth it !

 

[HABS93]

It's very good to see you and to read your update, @HABS93
And it sounds like they will get a lot of very useful info for you, from this procedure.
We are definitely on your side.

When i get scared before a procedure like that one, i tell myself (and repeat to myself)
that i do want the info, and that i am worth it, and it's worth it to try to fight for myself.
You are worth it !

Your faith in me gives me the motivation I need to get through this . Thank you

 

[Shoshana]

You are welcome. You always give such positive feedback for us, as well.
That's another impressive statement from you. Rings clear as a bell/


We like having you around here.
We will think of you, tonight and tomorrow! And will be glad to hear your update when you get to it.

 

[Jyoti]

We will think of you, tonight and tomorrow! And will be glad to hear your update when you get to it.

Absolutely. To all of it.

 

[HABS93]

It's scardosis everyone

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

@HABS93

It's scardosis everyone

I'm assuming sarcoidosis, yes?

If so, is it clinical or subclinical? Makes a difference.

Is it sarcoidosis AND lymphoma, or does the sarcoidosis diagnosis replace the lymphoma diagnosis?

Sorry to bury you in so many questions, HABS.

 

[HansG]

Hi @HABS93 I had pulmonal sarcoidosis some years ago. It is really important to check eyes, liver and due to your symptoms neuronal sarcoidosis. But my neuro said a neuronal sarcoidose would be seen on brain MRI.

How long did you have your symptoms for now?

 

[Moof]

If it's sarcoidosis alone, that's good news – specially as they started out worrying that you had lung cancer. It's still no fun, but if it's an isolated and smallish granuloma, they may recommend just watch and wait.

How are you feeling, now that you know more? Still overwhelmed, I expect, specially with the changing diagnosis. Be kind to yourself, and just do whatever you need to.

 

[HABS93]

They kind confirmed it after the biospy . That it's not lymphoma. Wait and see what treatment options they are but I'm definitely not waiting . I've been waiting over a year to figure out what's going on. My symptom's include chronic fatigue , brain fog , vision abnormalities, chemical sensitivities.
The MRI showed nothing a year ago but they also skipped the lesions in the lungs. Again pray this is what's causing my problems