If I keep pushing my head actually does start to feel strained behind the eyes/forehead/around the back and ...
There does come a point where focusing, concentrating, on something is almost, or maybe it goes beyond 'almost', physically painful in the brain.
EDIT:
![Camera with flash :camera_with_flash: 📸](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f4f8.png)
had an idea to take an illustrative photograph.
Used to play board games and miniatures games, both historical and science-fiction, where some rules sets could look like that -- of course all the rules weren't used all the time, there were specific case rules for various options and aspects.
Not any more.
![Thinking face :thinking: 🤔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f914.png)
![Frowning face :frowning2: ☹️](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/2639.png)
Can't focus enough for long enough. And then there is the PEM from doing so.
Really miss the individual friendships and group get togethers of doing so, especially the miniatures games groups. We had a ball just generally chatting and sharing drinks and snacks while playing the games.
And sometimes some really interesting or absolutely hilarious situations would arise within the game.
And then there were the various people's pets who just had to come see what was going on will all these different people in the house.
![Grinning cat :smiley_cat: 😺](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f63a.png)
![Dog face :dog: 🐶](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f436.png)
![Beaming face with smiling eyes :grin: 😁](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f601.png)
And then there were the annual conventions with lots of people and lots of different games.
But when your body just flat will not do that any more, what else can you do except stop doing that.
![Thinking face :thinking: 🤔](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/7.0/png/unicode/64/1f914.png)
So, I gave away and/or sold off almost all my sci-fi and historical games and miniatures.
Kept this one which has both board game and miniatures game formats, and one other sci-miniatures game. Also kept my dice collection.
Also kept the certificates and physical prizes won in game competitions. Before ME/CFS with its brain fog and PEM hit, there were a few board games and miniatures games where I'd gotten good enough to actually decide whether I wanted to win 1st, 2nd, 3rd, place depending on which prize I liked best. Favorite prize of the ones won is a couple miniature spaceships which look like Orca.
I really miss this part of life, and yet know I did the right thing and am okay with my choice, my decision, to stop and to leave this part of my life behind since I actually literally
can't do this any more, because of the inability to concentrate that much & because of the
"PEM bill" for trying to do both the going places and that concentrating.
And that loss hurts.
But, hey, how much PEM has it caused to simply not happen since 2007?
A