Hello
@Wanja.....Look, I know medicine is quite different in Germany, and many people are against benzos for anything, but you have to look at the entire picture.
As a group, anxiety is a big problem for us at some point or another. And yes, there are degrees and degrees of anxiety. You appear to me to be going through some of this right now. Have you told the neurologists exactly how you're feeling?
We can look quite normal to others, while hearing this same tape going over and over again in our minds....not a good tape either. At this point, we need help and even if a psychiatrist is used to confirm the situation it doesn't mean that you're crazy. It means that you suffer from anxiety....and this is finally being acknowledged in different circles worldwide.
So carefully think about exactly how you feel. Write down the feelings, what they are, how they manifest. Are you ever able to shut these things off....are you obssessive? None of us can expect help unless we're totally truthful. Is one of the neurologists more sympathetic than the others? Do you feel more comfortable with him/her? It's possible that your brain chemicals have been totally messed up (as you know) and you'll need some medical help to get out of this.
I suffer from anxiety....it got worse over a period of 35+ years. In the early days I was able to control it myself, but then years later I had to go on non-addictive meds that I took as needed only.
Later I had to move to the big guns and I'm ever so thankful for them. Of course I'll have problems if I ever go off them, but I take low doses and at my age it isn't very likely that I will be taken off. Through all of this, long before I was diagnosed with multiple illnesses (syndromes as they called them) I've been lucky enough to be with the same neurologist. I don't know where I would be without him....but I also have a younger one b/c the first has family illness and may have to leave at anytime.
So work with the doctors as best you can....let them learn how your body reacts, this is so important and is often completely underrated. We're all different. Yours, Lenora.