Back surgery in June 2008 taught me many lessons.....
When I was booked in for lumbar disc surgery in 2008, I was aware that I wouldn't be able to sit from more than 10-15 minutes for quite some days/weeks after the surgery.
I had to lie flat or stand up (straight). No bending (in theory pretty hard to do).
Being the obsessively organised person that I am, 2 weeks before the surgery, every task I did or kitchen utensil or furniture I used, I worked out how I would use it if I couldn't bend.
I made batches of my favourite soups, some casseroles for the freezer. My brother was able to bring me home because the hospital was only 15 minutes away & he could alter the front seat to lay back as far as possible (if living further than 30 minutes drive, i would have come home via ambulance).
When I walked in the front door, I asked my brother to pull out a week's worth of meals from the freezer (which is the lower half of my fridge & I couldn't bend). i already had fruit in the fridge which kept well, & put these back on the kitchen bench to come back to room temp. I already had prescr pain meds (from having severe back pain).
I had every piece of regularly used crockery, cutlery, pots & pans on the kitchen bench (or sitting on the stove), including the wooden spoon, sharp knife, vegie peeler sitting next to the cutting board on the kitchen bench. i had a tray with cups/mugs, plates. i had the biscuit jar next to this (for visitors).
I had put the kitchen rubbish bin on an upturned stout cane basket to raise it up high. I have been putting several plastic bags in the kitchen rubbish bin for years, so that as you take one bagful out & tie it ready to take out to the council bins, you have 3-4 more bin liners still in the bin. This means you only have to bend really low to line the rubbish bin every 2-3 weeks.The bin lined with several bags doesn' t get smelly (if you remove the rubbish regularly). I had moved furniture & placed everything within reach. I moved the dvd video players to a higher shelf. I had the pile of my favourite dvd's on top ready to use for the first couple of weeks. I had washed, dried & put away every piece of linen & clothing.
Every piece of clothing I wore for the next 6 weeks was
drip dry (I actually wore the same 2 changes of clothes nearly every day)
I had every book, magazine that I might want on the dining table. I had matches & candles within reach (in case of a storm & power black out - it was mid winter).
I gave keys to brothers, & a couple of neighbours. Asked my neighbour to get my mail (while in hospital & for the first few days I was home). I paid bills that were due (before they arrived, by just doing an estimation of what they were the previous year).
And of course fresh bed linen & a new long t-shirt nightie as I wouldn't be able to bend to put pj's on. I had worn slip on shoes to the hospital so I wouldn't have to put shoes & socks on. When I walked in the front door I slipped my loafer shoes off & slipped my slippers on.
I had the phone numbers of the closest restaurent home delivery service pinned to the fridge (in case I couldn't cook). I made sure I had supplies of everything imaginable for the next 5-6 weeks (except fresh vegies of course). I had my wheeled shopping trolley ready to walk slowly to the nearest shops (5 minutes away).
I had enough cash in my purse to deal with the next month's purchases.
I had spoken to the nearest pharmacy (who will home deliver free - they're only 5 mins walk).
I had bought a "pick up stick" at the OT dept in the hospital & had practised before I came home.
And to tell you how I picked up the soap every time I dropped it in the shower...........
......Hold the outspread wet face washer out flat & drop it on the wet slippery soap (like a little outspread parachute). Use the
pick up stick to grasp the wet face washer
around the soap & you can pick it up. (ever tried to pick up wet soap you've dropped it on the shower floor when you can't bend???).
My clothes dryer is already on a low table in the bathroom so I haven't had to bend for the last 10 years.
In fact, ever since 1980, when the terrible back pain started, I had been "rehearsing" for this back surgery day in 2008.
I had been half rolling out of bed & throwing my upper body upright for years, so when the physio in the hospital came to show me how to get out bed after the surgery, i could do exactly what she demonstrated straight off.
I am not joking.
I am so well organised, that......................
I daresay when I think I am going to die, I will have starched & ironed the silk coffin liner & dug my grave to make sure it is neat & square. I will have written the funeral service & arranged the potted flower/plants ready to be planted over my grave. I will have put the grave digger's spade next to the grave, handle upright, so he won't have to bend to pick it up. And I will have placed umbrellas next to the chairs at the grave side in case it rains when they bury me!
In fact, I will have emailed God the day before, requesting a sunny day & a light breeze on the day of my funeral.
Now you know why I am single & live on my own LOL. I'm a pain in the a****.
But some people love me because I used to be the perfect house guest many years ago.