Dating...

K

_Kim_

Guest
Christopher said:
I'll see your grocery store and raise you looking around while I'm stopped at a red light.
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I actually met one of my boyfriends while he was stopped at a red light and I was coming out of a store. He flirted, I flirted back and then he drove off. I was thinking, "why did I let him drive away" when he circled back around and parked to talk to me. Ya never know...
 
sarahg

sarahg

Admin Assistant
Messages
276
Location
Pennsylvania
I should clarify that I live next door to our town's community center/municipal building/recreational complex. I'm forever chasing people OUT of my yard, actually.
 
BEG

BEG

Senior Member
Messages
1,032
Location
Southeast US
Christopher, Kim, sarahg --- you make me laugh until the tears come. thank you! thank you! thank you! And good luck with red lights, grocery stores, and hammocks. I'm sure it won't stop there.
 
S

Sammy

Messages
85
Marylib said:
Yep, I think that is what is going on many times. Gee whiz when I spoke recently with my own father, I replied to his 'how are you?' by telling him I was unfortunately doing worse than ever. He replied "Well...maybe you will get better! Gotta run..."

Charming.

Hey Island Finn -- love that magnet.
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Ounch! that would have hurt :(

And sadly enough, i know how that feels...

I am optimistic though, with time, things will change, wait and see...
 
Marylib

Marylib

Senior Member
Messages
1,171
for Sammy

Yep, it hurt alot. Thanks for your kind words. Onward and upward from here...sort of :)
 
Kati

Kati

Patient in training
Messages
5,497
Ah the dating world. In the past I have met my bf (noth that there are many) doing activities I enjoyed doing- hiking and cycling- it gave us something in common and made us realize we indeed liked one another.

Now, unless I get into a fender bender that would actualy cause more grief than love connections- the chance to meet someone is probably 0.01%

One point I would like to bring though is there is nothing wrong at all with being single. Like the song says, can't hurry love-


Mistletoe anyone ?:p
 
C

Cloud

Guest
Thanks for the thread Chris.....Since becoming more severely ill and my marriage ending because of it 6 years ago, I have had this feeling that I just couldn't do that to myself or another person again. I wanted to get well before starting any more relationships. And maybe I'm fortunate that in spite of being in many serious relationships in my life, I have never felt like I had to be. I'm comfortable in my own skin and maybe that's been a blessing for the last 6 years of being mostly home bound. Most of my relationships didn't require a lot of chase and maybe that's because most of the girls I have been with were in my immediate proximity practicing the same interests with work and play.

I doubt the stats that ME/CFS relationships fail more than "normal" is true of the ones who get together after onset....because both people know what they are getting into, and they would be more empathetic and supportive of one another. It's when the magnitude of the disease obliterates the hopes and dreams of the unsuspecting couple that there are devastating problems. Well, that's my story anyhow. I personally think it could be a good thing for 2 pwc's to get together. Of course there would have to be chemistry and compatibility like with any relationship.....but I think it could be good. People say that Internet dating is bad because people can lie......Well, they seem to do just fine with that in real life as well. Besides it's the illusion in my own head that I need to be more concerned with regardless of whether it's the net or real life. Seems to me it could be good to get to know someone on the net, then the phone, then dating in person. You don't have to marry them...just have fun. The internet has been a lifesaver for me when I became to ill to leave the house. It became my social life and playground. It has kept me sane. But even though it's not for me, I think meeting the right person on-line is entirely possible.

I am almost well enough now for some romance and even feel that I want it.....I am starting to think about it more. I know for me it's just a thing of practicing who I am and what I love and that will put me in the right arena for the best match. It's always worked that way before. Most often rather than being out "Looking", I was doing what I love and it just happened. The women I have chased were a hell of a lot of fun, but ultimately dangerous.....but then, I like danger. Thought I might outgrow that someday.
 
K

kristin

Guest
I think I remember.....

Before I was ill, I used to date quite a bit. For now it is only something I dream about frequently. Thank goodness for dreams!! :D
 
C

cold_taste_of_tears

Guest
Maybe as Cort has organised and built this amazing website for us all - we could have a dating site oneday? I wanted to build one for years, but I don't have the web skills to do it.

We'd have to pay of course but it would be worth it.

I haven't kissed anyone for nearly 5 years, quite ridiculous we all have to live like this. Other disabled people are allowed partners. Ages ago, a woman kissed me on the cheek as a kind of 'thanks' for something (a good deed), just that touch was quite incredible, and all the memories of a partner came flooding back.

I'm sure we'd all appreciate just being able to hold someone's hand, never mind bedroom Olympics. Touch is so special, and hearing someones voice that comforts you.

It's so horrible you, me, and everyone else on here is desperate to meet someone - yet there isn't a facilty to do this on the entire internet for people with this disease.

Think how much good we could bring to each others lives.
Think how much better we could cope.

When you wake up in the morning and know that at least you have someone who loves you - it's an incredible feeling, and keeps you going the whole day.
 
Sue C

Sue C

Sue C
Messages
33
Location
NJ
Cecelia Blair said:
From Brown Eyed Girl: "Free to travel to faraway places. He didn't sign up for this. CFS marriages end in divorce more often than regular marriages (for lack of a better term.) It's a very sad casualty of the disease."

My eye combined words from different sentences to name what I have as,

the faraway disease​

​
I live alone. Everyone is gone. That is how it seems at least. Many do live far away, all my relatives, not that I'd be associating with some of them if they were here. My dearest ones are gone, let's put it that way. Half my friends have moved away. The remainder are busy and psychologically I am moving away from them. I can't do the things they enjoy; can't keep up with the conversation or activities; I am not in life on the same terms or even comprehensible terms. I see a few people here and there--that is how it seems.

My own truth is that I am a mixture of very social--this is the affiliative, lonely part--and someone who wants to be alone because that is how I best stay in balance and find depth in life.

Cecelia
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So it is what it is... after weeks slowed to a near halt, am uplifted and even amused by the candid, heartfelt contributions. Its like old war buddies sitting around the campfire but in this case smoke and marshmallows aside. Thanks, Chris, for your start with this thread as my holiday induced sadness sure needed the reality check. It seems that being open, accepting , in the moment, surprises do happen, no matter in what form. Yes, I admit that the vegetable section at the grocery has brought some exciting moments on a hot summer's day. Chemistry happens all over the place; once I met someone while doing laundry......spoke on the phone and we had dinner. The challenge was not to futurize it. Its the times that my life has slowed so that my focus goes inward
[deep breath] and somehow change happens, coping becomes possible and hope arrives....even in the darker moments, light dispels the darkness. Had to join in and acknowledge the gifted, talented loving group here, Appreciate the respite! SueC.
 
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