Little Wins

This morning I woke up feeling better than I did on the last couple days and more normal for what my early morning normal is at 6 AM. When I woke up the ereader was being delivered and as I was drinking my coffee I exhausted myself trying to get it set up and testing things out with it. I'm so happy that I finally fond something electronic I can tolerate that finally allows me to read which doesn't sound like much but is a huge step for me, reading on it is a very smooth experience too. The rest of the morning was rainy and I took a trip to the store with a family member in the afternoon, my neuropathy in my head/face was flaring but at least I can feel it more fully now where as when I have less sensation there it actually means I'm doing worse as when I can feel things there there's always a general undercurrent of fluctuating but permanent neuropathy there though the one thing I found that makes it stop also crashes me very quickly and hard which is ALA in higher doses of 500 mg. I did listento more music I should have today getting more hyped up about going to a show tomorrow night which I pray won't be too rough on my system. It is a sit down though and I won't be right in front of the stage so I should be alright though. Part of me only likes shows with deafening volume though and if it is I won't be upset, I've never thoroughly enjoyed a quiet concert that wasn't blowing my brains out with levels of sound so powerful it was psychedelic. The last show I went to when I was far worse was one of those quieter one's and even worse the sound quality was muddy garbage, my hearing was pretty trashed the next day anyways so they mind as well have went all out. It was Tool of all bands to play quieter with a bad sound crew that evening and I also don't have fond memories of the time I went either as I was in the deep end of moderate at the time and my brain was barely able to handle it. In fact later in October I have another concert in the same place but I hope it'll be a lot better, in fact I know it will as I don't think it could possibly be worse as I never been to a show that was so poorly mixed in my life which is really saying something considering how many small venue shows I been to in my life. On the other hand it was a lot of punk and metal anyways so generally the only thing I cared about was getting blasted with a wall of deafening electrical chaos that made me feel like I was in the belly of some kind of war machine. I also want to go to the other one to gamble for a while too as it's in my favorite casino and I haven't been there in many months. As I've gotten better I've definitely gotten a lot of my urges back and you know what I appreciate and manage all of them well enough. I've always liked to take my chances and I always will. If I'm not on a roller coaster I'm not living, I tend to judge my progress by how much perspective and functionality through that I've gained.