I'm still living in a van. A minivan, now, to blend in better.
I find that with a handicap placard and the ability to have my entire "home" nearby whenever I need it, I'm far less "disabled" by my condition than I am otherwise. Key reasons that come to mind:
I'm still not able to get by without a caregiver of some kind. Since the government is being stupid and saying they won't cover the cost unless I'm living in a house (even though I've already qualified for a caregiver) I've been relying on friends, and now primarily my boyfriend to help me out.
Some days I manage to do everything well. Other days I fumble around and kinda sorta get things done, and on days like today I end up triggered and useless from a series of chemical exposures and anxiety attacks and unforseen difficulties. It simply hasn't been a good day.
But...I'm still doing it. A couple years back I turned my life upside down and inside out to focus intensely on palliative care. And while I'm still hugely disabled, I'm a lot more comfortable and happier and freer than I've ever been in my life.
Right now with the constant stressors of living on the streets (I didn't mention the break-in attempts, police pounding on doors, stigma issues, food issues, hygiene problems, etc) my psychological issues have taken priority. I've stopped going to doctors, and realize it's not healthy to make myself do so until I have the psychological support system in place to handle the fallout from seeing them. I'm working on getting that together now.
Life is hard. Life is rewarding. Big hugs to all my friends here - I rarely come around now because being back here can trigger me but just wanted to give an update.
I find that with a handicap placard and the ability to have my entire "home" nearby whenever I need it, I'm far less "disabled" by my condition than I am otherwise. Key reasons that come to mind:
- The ability to lay down and rest or sleep, wherever
- Access to food I can eat at any time (including fresh/refrigerated food)
- An enclosed space where I can physically and psychologically shut the world out, inside represents safety
- Access to ALL medications, earplugs, sunglasses, clothing, shoes, mask cartridge replacements, etc. Hypersensitivities of all kinds require accommodations that can be forgotten, lost, broken, or the circumstances simply shift in a manner you didn't anticipate. Fleeing to my van resolves things faster than having to rush to transportation and then "home".
I'm still not able to get by without a caregiver of some kind. Since the government is being stupid and saying they won't cover the cost unless I'm living in a house (even though I've already qualified for a caregiver) I've been relying on friends, and now primarily my boyfriend to help me out.
Some days I manage to do everything well. Other days I fumble around and kinda sorta get things done, and on days like today I end up triggered and useless from a series of chemical exposures and anxiety attacks and unforseen difficulties. It simply hasn't been a good day.
But...I'm still doing it. A couple years back I turned my life upside down and inside out to focus intensely on palliative care. And while I'm still hugely disabled, I'm a lot more comfortable and happier and freer than I've ever been in my life.
Right now with the constant stressors of living on the streets (I didn't mention the break-in attempts, police pounding on doors, stigma issues, food issues, hygiene problems, etc) my psychological issues have taken priority. I've stopped going to doctors, and realize it's not healthy to make myself do so until I have the psychological support system in place to handle the fallout from seeing them. I'm working on getting that together now.
Life is hard. Life is rewarding. Big hugs to all my friends here - I rarely come around now because being back here can trigger me but just wanted to give an update.