Post-sex exhaustion

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For the first time in years I have a partner and we are engaging in sexual activity. I still have a libido, amazingly, but after I orgasm I am tired for days. Not just a little tired, but very tired. Lots of brain fog, can't think clearly, needing to nap more. It's terrible.

Google tells me there's something called post orgasmic illness syndrome, but I don't know if I buy these fancy disease names. I think it's related to CFS/ME. Orgasm in men involves release of a lot of prolactin, and in CFS there may be an HPA axis disorder, so prolactin could make things worse. That's the only link I can think of.

For those of you here who are sexually active, do you have extreme fatigue post sex that lasts a long time, and if so have you found a way to deal with it? I can't think of any remedies.
 
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It's just ME @Chiron You won't easily get round the issue. Post orgasmic fatigue due to ME lasts about a week for me but it can last 14 days.

BCAA's are PEM blockers, I take those the day I know I'll be doing a lot and likely to have an orgasm. Pacing yourself, you can do other things and focus on your partner. Your partner needs to understand that if you don't have one it's ok and if they are putting any pressure on you, try to explain it to them. Sadly plenty of people won't understand, but there are women/men who will as well. You can also try quick small orgasms, without any build up with your partner, which might become a mental excercise too. These ones you'll recover from infinitely quicker. If you go all in, you'll be exhausted for 7 to 14 days.

Pukka Mushroom Complex gold PEM buffers a lot I've noticed, but won't block like BCAA's.

If none of that helps and it's weighing heavily into your relationship, you can't easily pace (which can be done trust me), then you would want to try libido enhancers, which will cut the fatigue days down by maybe 80%. But they are frought with side effects and can cause you to become emotionally detached, the list of side effects is long to be honest. Still if you can tolerate it then it's worth a shout.

Just to give you some insight. I believe that orgasms (stronger ones not mild ones) cause a huge drop in immune strength and function. It's this immune strength drop which can last weeks or days that you are trying to counter act. It's easy to get very unwell actually after a strong orgasm, I've noticed this happens to me in the winter months, it's really irritating. I can get a full on viral infection after a large one in the winter, because the immune system strength drops and anything that was already in the body just invades every organ it can find. So counter acting this immune drop is really only possible with something like ginseng, which will hugely boost immune strength and immune function, therefore preventing this massive drop in immune strength, which ultimately causes lethargy.

PM me if you want to know about some immune and libido enhancers, if the above isn't helpful. also PM me if you want to know more about BCAA's and mushroom complex.
 

PatJ

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If you look for "orgasm pem" and "sex pem" in our Google site search you'll find some discussions about PEM induced by orgasm.

And here's a comment from the Vitamin D wiki but this was for (I think) a healthy male who experienced the common form of post-orgasm fatigue. Still it might be useful to consider:
*Fatigue after orgasm reduced with supplements*
I had found that taking Zinc and Magnesium (ZMA: 30 mg of Zinc, 450 mg of Magnesium Asperatate, 15 mg of vitamin B6) reduced the exhaustion, but did not eliminate it.

Added 10,000 IU of vitamin D and D-Ribose: No longer exhausted the next day
 

Pyrrhus

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What you're experiencing is the relationship between dysautonomia and PEM. Autonomic nerves control both sexual arousal and orgasm. Orgasm may be a large stress to the autonomic nerves because orgasm involves both the sympathetic autonomic system and also the parasympathetic autonomic system.

Other people have also reported PEM and dysautonomia after orgasm.

Hope this helps.
 

jpcv

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For the first time in years I have a partner and we are engaging in sexual activity. I still have a libido, amazingly, but after I orgasm I am tired for days. Not just a little tired, but very tired. Lots of brain fog, can't think clearly, needing to nap more. It's terrible.

Google tells me there's something called post orgasmic illness syndrome, but I don't know if I buy these fancy disease names. I think it's related to CFS/ME. Orgasm in men involves release of a lot of prolactin, and in CFS there may be an HPA axis disorder, so prolactin could make things worse. That's the only link I can think of.

For those of you here who are sexually active, do you have extreme fatigue post sex that lasts a long time, and if so have you found a way to deal with it? I can't think of any remedies.
Hi, I feel the same but not every time. I´ve noticed that it depends not only on the orgasm itself but on the physical activity during sex. So I have learned to pace myself during sexual activity, this is very personal it depends on what kind of effort triggers PEM for you.
Another question, do you feel the same thing during masturbation? It requires less effort so it should cause less PEM.
I had a 3 year long relation with a wonderful woman and it´s not easy sometimes to say no, I am afraid I´m gonna get worse or Im just to tired from last time we had sex(7 days ago or so ) . PEM sucks.
I´ve noticed also that I could tolerate sex more frequently during my vacations as I have more free time to rest and sleep.
Lastly, I´ve noticed that I´m trapped in a kind of sex/pem loop
Sex-PEM-libido dispears-rest a lot-get better-libido increases-sex....
 
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The sex/pem loop for me is like torture. it feels like someone is pulling your fingernails for a few days after, that sort of nervous system shock that goes along with my fatigue. It's truly horrible. I think it takes a lot of mental energy and resilience to deal with that every week, so hats off to you all for being able to. Because I know I don't find it easy, no matter how amazing someone is, you can feel like you aren't allowed to live anymore. That you just should stop to protect yourself, I think in matters of the heart it's self defeating, as it just makes you more lonely.
 

unicorn7

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For me, I think it’s the normal PEM effect that comes from exertion?

Have you tried to have an orgasm without all the exertion, do you still have PEM afterwards?

For me, the solution was to let my partner do all the work ;)
 

Booble

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Wow, never thought I'd be talking about this in "public!"
25+ years ago I wondered -- why the hell do I feel so awful afterwards? It didn't seem like anyone else did. Every one else I knew felt wonderful and refreshed.
I came across something at the time about some people having something akin to an allergic reaction to the chemicals released into the body. I assumed it was that.
 
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Hi, I feel the same but not every time. I´ve noticed that it depends not only on the orgasm itself but on the physical activity during sex. So I have learned to pace myself during sexual activity, this is very personal it depends on what kind of effort triggers PEM for you.
Another question, do you feel the same thing during masturbation? It requires less effort so it should cause less PEM.
I had a 3 year long relation with a wonderful woman and it´s not easy sometimes to say no, I am afraid I´m gonna get worse or Im just to tired from last time we had sex(7 days ago or so ) . PEM sucks.
I´ve noticed also that I could tolerate sex more frequently during my vacations as I have more free time to rest and sleep.
Lastly, I´ve noticed that I´m trapped in a kind of sex/pem loop
Sex-PEM-libido dispears-rest a lot-get better-libido increases-sex....
It happens with masturbation though not as intensely. I just assumed it was a hormonal deficiency or something. Actual sex gets me very excited compared to masturbation and I think this is why the PEM is more extreme.
 

sometexan84

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I am like a couple others here commenting on PEM. I conducted some "very scientific experimental research" and found for me, it's not been the orgasm itself, but all the crazy sex activities! It's like 1-1.5 days of fatigue after.
 

jpcv

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I am like a couple others here commenting on PEM. I conducted some "very scientific experimental research" and found for me, it's not been the orgasm itself, but all the crazy sex activities! It's like 1-1.5 days of fatigue after.
Only1-1.5 days of fatigue?!
i it happened with me, I would be so happy!
 

LaurelW

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I still get PEM the same amount if I let my husband do all the work. It's just a trade-off I have to live with and it helps to plan it during a time when I don't have much going on for a few days afterwards since I know I'll be wiped out.
 

gbells

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For those of you here who are sexually active, do you have extreme fatigue post sex that lasts a long time, and if so have you found a way to deal with it? I can't think of any remedies.
Wow, one week is a long recovery. It affects my neurotransmitters, giving me depression and anxiety for up to 24 hours which I assume is because there is a deficit of them due to the ME. I have HHV6 which makes a depression-causing protein. I treat it by.

1) Limiting orgasms to not have too high depletion.
2) Treating depression symptoms with 24% CBD oil sublinqually 2x/day (www.madebyhelp.com gold oil concentrate), eating protein with some carbs to maximize tryptophan absorption.
3) Limiting GMO (Roundup) grains which impair the gut and reduce gut-produced neurotransmitters.
4) Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to challenge magnified negative thoughts.
5) Getting daily cardio exercise and morning light exposure (I use a sun light box for Seasonal Affective Disorder) to boost neurotransmitters.
 

gbells

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I also use NOW organic essential lavender oil diluted in water to treat my anxiety if it is more than a low level. 1-2 drops stirred in a glass of water, sipped.
 

gbells

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The least taxing orgasms would be 2 hrs after eating a quick digesting protein when body stores are high (after dinner) and when the body is settling in preparing for sleep (low cortisol). My experience is that doing it earlier sets me up for a lot of extra replenishment eating.
 

gbells

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For the first time in years I have a partner and we are engaging in sexual activity. I still have a libido, amazingly, but after I orgasm I am tired for days. Not just a little tired, but very tired. Lots of brain fog, can't think clearly, needing to nap more. It's terrible.

Google tells me there's something called post orgasmic illness syndrome, but I don't know if I buy these fancy disease names. I think it's related to CFS/ME. Orgasm in men involves release of a lot of prolactin, and in CFS there may be an HPA axis disorder, so prolactin could make things worse. That's the only link I can think of.

For those of you here who are sexually active, do you have extreme fatigue post sex that lasts a long time, and if so have you found a way to deal with it? I can't think of any remedies.
For me orgasm is very brain neurotransmitter depleting. The build up and release feels good but then I get a big depression crash. Also, the opioid release is very addicting so you get into this downward spiral.

I've found the best thing to do is limit orgasm frequency. Wait until your sexual appetite is very high then have one orgasm. Don't masterbate excessively after that just recover and avoid porn for a few days. Find the optimum amount you can tolerate and stay within it-just like spoons. Carbs + protein enhances tryptophane absorbtion for an antidepressant effect. High concentrated heated (gold) CBD 24% twice a day also works as an antidepressant.