Poll: Has anyone lost their ability to enjoy music

[chaki90]

One of the first things I noticed when I was getting sick is that I don't enjoy listening to music as much as I did back when I was healthy. Music was actually one of the most important parts of my life. I liked playing DJ sets and worked on music production. Trance was the genre I enjoyed most, because of its uplifting melodies and beautiful soundscapes. A lot of times I actually cried of joy while listening to music, it made me feel wonderful and happy beyond this world.

However, after I got sick I started to notice that sometimes if I'm tired I don't get the same enjoyment as before. Sometimes, however the feeling came back, but if I started nodding my head or dancing I'd get exhausted quickly and the feeling would go away again. As the time passed this feeling diminished further, and I even sometimes get irritated by music. However, still once in a while when I'm feeling better I can feel the love again even partially. This gives me hope that this feeling could come back again (if it can come back for half an hour, it can come back for longer).

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

 

[HABS93]

@chaki90 Haven't been able to relate to someone on a spiritual level about dj sets. Vocal trance was one of my top 3. The bass beat doesn't take over since getting sick. Certain times I can get a good caffeine rush which last minimal 15m. If I time it right with a good walk I can get this feeling to intensify for 20ish m. Then I'm just chasing the dragon and symptoms get worse and then just autopilot. It's even stranger for me because my body is conditioned to running around for 9-10 hours 5 days a week. However that feeling just gets worse and my physical energy is not influencing anything related to it.
What's your top djs you like?
Some of the ones I listen to are ; Rezz , Malas , oceanslab , john gallagher - big sky( The emotion from this one's reaches me on bad days)

 

[Krokus]

If at all I only can listen to calm music. in former times I loved to listen to Mozart, but he has too many notes and my brain is not able to work through them. They are just too many information at a time. In my brain they become just noise.
There had been short periods, where I could really enjoy music and it sounded like it
So the problem is not from my soul, if I enjoy music or not, it is how the brain is able to deal with it and what it makes out of it.

 

[chaki90]

@HABS93 Sounds a lot like me. Before I got sick, I had very spiritual notion of music. Every sound or tune had its atmosphere and color. Now, most of the time it's hard to see music like that.

I listened to a lot of djs: Armin Van Buuren, old Tiesto, Paul Van Dyk, Above&Beyond, Swedish House Mafia, Markus Schulz, Sander Van Doorn, Aly&Fila, Arty, Leon Bolier and many more.

Regarding Vocal Trance here are some of my favourite:
Paul Oakendfold - Southern Sun
Solid Sessions - Janeiro (Armin Van Buuren Remix)
Headstrong feat. Stine Grove - Tears (Aurosonic Progressive remix)
Above & Beyond - Peace of Mind (Arty Remix)
BT - Dreaming (Lucid's 12" Club Mix)

 

[BrightCandle]

I find using headphones at all seems to gradually make me worse, the tinnitus doesn't help. But it is mostly just the fatigue of any noise as I remain sensitive to sounds and music is a stimulus that is now just uncomfortable.

 

[keepswimming]

The sort of music I listen to has changed. I used to listen to lively, upbeat music but now I tend to avoid it. However I find relaxing, calming music can be beneficial.

 

[Wishful]

I think my enjoyment of music that I used to enjoy hasn't changed. It's just getting harder to find new music that I like. The only radio station I can get here that isn't Country with lots of ads blasting at maximum volume is CKUA (ckua.com if you're interested). I used to listen to it more, but over the last decade or so it's gotten to the point where I hear something I really like maybe once a month, while the selections that make me turn the radio off are more like once per hour. Just getting old and stodgy, I suppose.

The quality of the sound-reproducing equipment is fairly important for proper enjoyment.

 

[Wishful]

@chaki90 , you'll get a better response for your poll if you edit the title to start with "Poll:". People like polls.

 

[Starsister]

I have such mixed feelings now about my music. I have a huge collection of classical, folk, rock, alternative, etc on records, cassettes and tapes back to 1968. I have always treasured, but most of the time now most makes me irritable, just noise. Depends on how I’m feeling. At times I’m nostalgic and listen to music I listened to in highschool and college, to feel young again.
But it brings up so emotions, even positive ones, causes my head and face to burn ( I’m assuming brain inflammation). And stimulates my adrenals/ cortisol and then I can’t sleep all night and have to take piles of drugs to finally knock myself out. Yes, such a ridiculous and sad loss due this this disease.

 

[Treeman]

I've lost my ability to enjoy music and everything else. The truth is at best I just mumble around miserable. I once heard that Freud said, the best anyone can expect in life is to be mildly miserable. It may not be him, but I related to it for decades. I'm slowly improving and on days when I don't have too much PEM, I found that I'm a naturally happy person like I was all those years ago. Fingers crossed that it I will continue to recover and enjoy more and deeper aspects of life.

 

[Wishful]

Reading was always much more important to me than music. I have a bunch of old books, and a set of SF magazines that I used to enjoy re-reading, but now thinking about re-reading them doesn't trigger any sense of desire. I still have some books that I enjoy re-reading (re-reading is easier on the brain), but maybe the scope and magnitude of the enjoyment is less.

Music is just one activity that people find enjoyment in. I'm sure people here can list other activities that have faded for them since developing ME. I used to cook fancier meals before, but now it just seem too much effort for the limited enjoyment.

 

[chaki90]

@Wishful Thanks for the tip . I changed the title

 

[Wishful]

One thing I have noticed: a lot of the songs on the radio are sung unintelligibly and I just can't be bothered to try to figure out what they're saying. I'm not sure whether that's ME related or just personal taste.

 

[Pyrrhus]

One thing I have noticed: a lot of the songs on the radio are sung unintelligibly and I just can't be bothered to try to figure out what they're saying. I'm not sure whether that's ME related or just personal taste.

I also have more trouble discerning the words in songs. But that may be me, not ME.

 

[Wishful]

It used to be that lyrics were accompanied by music. Now all too often it seems that lyrics are drowned out by loud instrumental blasts. I sometimes listen to Big Band era music on the radio, and they seemed to separate the two, having loud instrumental parts, but not trying to sing during those parts.

Vocal-only songs can be a refreshing change.

 

[minimus]

One of my few psychological escapes during the first 20 years of ME/CFS was listening to music, though I was very sound sensitive for the first few years after getting sick in 1998.

By 2001 or so, I found I could listen through headphones most nights, discovering new music in the process. I also could occasionally listen to our home stereo, which was a great way for me to bond with my then young daughter despite my limited energy and incapacity to do much of anything with her besides watch TV.

In mid-2018, I became more severely ill and also developed loud pulsatile tinnitus. I now hear each heartbeat like a loud chorus of cicadas or crickets chirping in my head. That constant beat track has eliminated my ability to enjoyably listen to music, except on the very rare occasions when the tinnitus subsides and my noise sensitivity abates. But mostly, I can’t listen to music anymore.

 

[Howard]

I was unable to listen to music for a period of time lasting nearly three years. As a matter of fact, all music, and all sounds were excruciatingly painful for me back then.

It wasn't until some combination of -
substantially raising my vitamin D levels (UVB light), daily presence practice (and meditation), a newfound ability to attain restful sleep at night (via tart cherry powder), and diet management - that I was eventually able to tolerate sound, light, and other forms of stimuli.

Mostly, I am able to listen to and somewhat enjoy music at night, in relative darkness. And the types of music I am best able to tolerate are less thought-provoking, less complex than I would prefer, and mostly music that is already familiar.

As an added bonus, I've been able to resume music-making, knocking out new songs on a monthly basis for the past year-and-a-half. Prior to becoming ill I was far more productive, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

H

 

[Pyrrhus]

buh-bUmP!

 

[Wishful]

Well, since you bumped it, I'd like to ask whether anyone enjoys songs where the artist screams the lyrics, with vocal cords usually damaged by earlier screaming, accompanied by instruments played as loud as possible to drown out the fact that they have no musical or vocal talent.

Yah, grumpy old guy here.

 

[Pyrrhus]

Yah, grumpy old guy here.

Get off my lawn!