How to live after giving up fighting?

[Jasper80]

Hy, thank you very much for your reply. And for checking in

Hard to say. I try to think as less as possible about it. It‘s quite with no goal ahead or no good practitioner.
It‘s just swimming at the open see with sharks nearby. Honestly I‘m such a positive guy and tryed everything(maybe too much). Just another drama which has to be accepted, but my family fought so hard for me for all those years and if this shall be it now... hm.

I‘m sorry these emotions are so huge and the fight is also, that I would have to be Nietsche or else to write it down correctly. I feel like I‘m forced by life itself to give up one day.

Thank you for asking. That means much to me I‘ve had have to go I would love to do something great for all of us suffering, something that made the suffering worth it. There is just no sense in this stuff. Grrrrr

I send you greetings

 

[ktred]

It brought a smile to my face when I saw that you replied. You mentioned being a sensitive person which is something I suspected from reading your posts. I too am a very sensitive, empathetic and introspective person. This personality type brings special challenges to a chronically sick person. It's also a personality type that is needed in this world.
Have you ever heard of the book "The Highly Sensitive Person"? I don't recall the authors name, but I found it to be very empowering. For now, please trust me; there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm older than you by 19 years and have also been down a difficult path. I've had many moments where I've felt like I have been staring down into an abyss.
Things are much better for me now and I look at the world through such a different and beautiful lens. I would love to keep this conversation going with you. I'm sure that there are others on this forum that are sensitive souls like us.
Kathryn

 

[Jasper80]

Hy kathyrn,

Yes you are right. On top off it all I‘m a sensitive empathic person. I‘ve bought equal books here in Germany and yes that makes it more difficult. It is a blessing and a burden at the same time. It‘s hard to find your way, when your‘re healthy and sensitive, but being ill for so long and in this state now makes it quite impossible.

I started seeing it as a gift and it helped me a lot in the years I‘ve been only half sick. And I‘ve made some wonderful experienceses and met wonderful people. But now it‘s a burden. The constant state of drowning without any light... I repeat myself. Maybe there is a possible help somewhere and I would love my life even with only 50 % better health, but I‘m getting worried, that I don‘t have the strength or just don‘t want to fight anymore.

Life is always about a goal, even when you have to set your own one, but there is non left. I‘m really greatful for every contact which helps. Even when it‘s just a day... or maybe more so thank you in advance.