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- 37
Hey,
It is really hard to talk to people about these elemental and hard topics. Friends and family are overwhelmed, practitioners try to calm you down and a Therapeut is asking questions.
I'm 37 now and I'm fighting for 20 years now. I've never had a normal life. More stress and pain and sadness I could ever imagined. I fought so hard, spend thousands and thousands of Euros and never gave up. There was always this little portion hope, but on the other side there has always been thoughts about Suizide. Just to handle the constant pressure and fear. There is an exit, so I can keep fighting.
98% of all practitioners made my health worse and I've seen so many. Sitting in front of me, smiling and leaving me alone with my problems. I don't blame them (maybe a bit), but it was so embarrassing so often. Nobody believed the story and symptoms I was explaining.
And now. Now I know so much more. Thanks Internet and guys like you. But I fear it is too late now.
Sibo which I don't get rid of, Mcas, cfs, methylation issues, unable to eat 97% of foods. Symptoms over symptoms which make life a struggle everyday. Loneliness because I have no energy for relationships, or Hobbys or Anything. Had to give up my job now and so on.
Every battle I begin with courage shows a bad side soon. So far. I'm sure some of you know what I mean.
And now?: I feel like I'm at the end of the road. Not quite ready for the last step out, but I feel like giving up. I'm tired of reading hours a day about stuff that even 90% of my doctors haven't ever heard of to get hope and try and try and then again fail.
I was treating Sibo again for 4 month with full Disziplin. Then took reishi mushrooms, which helped my immunsystem tremendously and flaired up my Sibo in 4 days so I have to get back in my Mcas state.
Sorry lot of words. How can a life look like after one has given up fighting against the own body? What is it that makes live still worthy? How can one cope with the neverending fear? Why is Suizide not an option? What is it one can hold up too?
It really Is a nightmare, but ok that's life. I would like to give it at least one sense before it all ends.
Sorry if I wrote confus and thank you for every reply.
Jasper
It is really hard to talk to people about these elemental and hard topics. Friends and family are overwhelmed, practitioners try to calm you down and a Therapeut is asking questions.
I'm 37 now and I'm fighting for 20 years now. I've never had a normal life. More stress and pain and sadness I could ever imagined. I fought so hard, spend thousands and thousands of Euros and never gave up. There was always this little portion hope, but on the other side there has always been thoughts about Suizide. Just to handle the constant pressure and fear. There is an exit, so I can keep fighting.
98% of all practitioners made my health worse and I've seen so many. Sitting in front of me, smiling and leaving me alone with my problems. I don't blame them (maybe a bit), but it was so embarrassing so often. Nobody believed the story and symptoms I was explaining.
And now. Now I know so much more. Thanks Internet and guys like you. But I fear it is too late now.
Sibo which I don't get rid of, Mcas, cfs, methylation issues, unable to eat 97% of foods. Symptoms over symptoms which make life a struggle everyday. Loneliness because I have no energy for relationships, or Hobbys or Anything. Had to give up my job now and so on.
Every battle I begin with courage shows a bad side soon. So far. I'm sure some of you know what I mean.
And now?: I feel like I'm at the end of the road. Not quite ready for the last step out, but I feel like giving up. I'm tired of reading hours a day about stuff that even 90% of my doctors haven't ever heard of to get hope and try and try and then again fail.
I was treating Sibo again for 4 month with full Disziplin. Then took reishi mushrooms, which helped my immunsystem tremendously and flaired up my Sibo in 4 days so I have to get back in my Mcas state.
Sorry lot of words. How can a life look like after one has given up fighting against the own body? What is it that makes live still worthy? How can one cope with the neverending fear? Why is Suizide not an option? What is it one can hold up too?
It really Is a nightmare, but ok that's life. I would like to give it at least one sense before it all ends.
Sorry if I wrote confus and thank you for every reply.
Jasper