Feeling anxious (female related)

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

Right now I’d have a panic attack due to social anxiety but I’m learning to be ok with that, slowly but surely.

If it's any consolation, I've gotten a little ways past the active panic attack stage, but still in the "Uh-uh, not goin' there ...." stage.

Given the various experiences I've had with Drs, some of them life-threatening, one of them only caught seconds from ending me, it's not hard to convince myself that I can get by a little while longer without them .... your experience and needs may be different.

But truly, things do get better. It's mostly a matter of time and shifting your focus just a little.

The meditations in Each Day A New Beginning should be helpful ..... do check it out when you're up to it ....

 

[Jemima37]

If it's any consolation, I've gotten a little ways past the active panic attack stage, but still in the "Uh-uh, not goin' there ...." stage.

Given the various experiences I've had with Drs, some of them life-threatening, one of them only caught seconds from ending me, it's not hard to convince myself that I can get by a little while longer without them .... your experience and needs may be different.

But truly, things do get better. It's mostly a matter of time and shifting your focus just a little.

The meditations in Each Day A New Beginning should be helpful ..... do check it out when you're up to it ....

I definitely will. Thank you. I really do need to get back into meditation. Tomorrow I’m going to try that meditation and make it a daily thing again.

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

Tomorrow I’m going to try that meditation and make it a daily thing again.

I think you'll find it gentle and undemanding, and very soothing. Don't push, just approach it as tho you were going to read a post that happens to come in video form .....

 

[Jemima37]

Hello Jemima....Yes, I believe that a good many of us cycle in and out of these periods of despair in our lives. It sounds as if you're coming out of one and just be sure to note the changes you've seen in yourself and others. Each time it becomes a bit easier; and we're in a position to understand that while we can't control others we can begin to understand them. No one can carry our loads for us, but there are plenty of helpers along the route. We learn and then learn some more. You'll be fine and will slowly start to re-enter your world again; albeit with changes suiting your newly found you, your new age and your family. I think you've learned enough about your biological family to approach them with wariness. Good for you. Ok....much to do; or not do, dependent upon how I feel. Yours, Lenora

Thank you Lenora for your kind words of advice and reassurance. That really helped that these 2 years won’t be forever and I will come through this withdrawal and hibernation from the outside world.

 

[Jemima37]

I think you'll find it gentle and undemanding, and very soothing. Don't push, just approach it as tho you were going to read a post that happens to come in video form .....

I will do. Thank you so much 😊

 

[lenora]

Hi ......How are you doing? I hope you'll enjoy spring and the resurgence it can build within us.

I'm glad you've cut off your family....I understand how difficult it can be, but sometimes we simply have to do what's in our best interest. I watched a program just the other evening about sex abuse. The #1 reason women don't turn the culprit in is that they're afraid of being ignored/misunderstood by their parents or elders. That's very real and I can understand why anyone would feel that way.

If you go to Bath, take the childrent to Victoria Park (& behind it is The Royal Crescent, a fine historic example of Georgian (?) architecture. One of Jane Austen's films was made there, and you can tour one of the apartments....if you're inclined).
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Also the Blue Book is from Alcoholics' Anonymous. It has helped me through so many areas of life and I'll be forever thankful for the day I bought it. We just happened to have a particularly large group near our home...I don't know about the smaller places. I would call ahead and see when you can purchase one, if you so desire. Perhaps you bought the one recommended by Yippee...that's good, anything to help you move forward, because you need all of the help you can get. As far as cancer, etc., goes the only way you're going to have an answer to that is to go ahead with the tests. I understand that you're uncomfortable having them done, but for your own peace of mind you should go ahead. The pelvic exam is over in a few minutes & the mammogram will give you complete peace of mind. Sometimes it's worth it to put the energy into something that's positive instead of letting it grow and grow. It will at the very least, give you some feeling of control over your life that you have determined you want. If you trust your husband, have him go with you and tell the Dr. that you're a victim of sex abuse. Here they are understanding of what that means...use everything in your toolbox of power to help yourself.

And don't forget to watch some enjoyable TV shows with your family, your husband and read some books to comfort yourself. You can move forward very slowly.....please do it for Jemima. Love, Lenora

 

[lenora]

Hi Julie.....So sorry that you're still suffering as much as you are.

 

[Jemima37]

Hi Julie.....So sorry that you're still suffering as much as you are.

Thank you Lenora.

Yesbi did the right thing cutting out my family. It was a very hard decision.

My issue with the smear test is not how it feels or that I’m scarred of the exam it’s how bad my social phobia and panic attacks are around people. The last time I was in the doctors I had a very severe panic attack. Ever since then and along with the CFS my anxiety returned badly and since then I’ve not been able to attend appointments or even have people in my home. I’m ashamed to admit that. I’ve become very socially phobic and agoraphobic since having CFS along with past trauma with my family which is when the agoraphobia and social anxiety began back in 2012. It was much better and I was back doing appointments, days out, holidays etc but then once the CFS took hold it all returned. I’m overdue a lot of appointments and it worries me daily.

I hope you’re doing ok.

 

[lenora]

Thank you Lenora.

Yesbi did the right thing cutting out my family. It was a very hard decision.

My issue with the smear test is not how it feels or that I’m scarred of the exam it’s how bad my social phobia and panic attacks are around people. The last time I was in the doctors I had a very severe panic attack. Ever since then and along with the CFS my anxiety returned badly and since then I’ve not been able to attend appointments or even have people in my home. I’m ashamed to admit that. I’ve become very socially phobic and agoraphobic since having CFS along with past trauma with my family which is when the agoraphobia and social anxiety began back in 2012. It was much better and I was back doing appointments, days out, holidays etc but then once the CFS took hold it all returned. I’m overdue a lot of appointments and it worries me daily.

I hope you’re doing ok.

OK, Jemima, let's go to the source of the problem. Actually, you seem to be dealing with a few. But we'll start at the beginning...missing your appointments. You know you aren't going to improve without them, so they're the first order. You have very good reasons for feeling the way you do, and while cutting yourself off from your family was the right thing to do, it also brings its own set of problems.

Have you told him/her that you're now agorophobic (?) and have social anxiety?

Please don't be ashamed to admit that your agorophobic or have social-anxiety. It's actually a very good sign; it's the inner you saying that you're ready to go forward. Remember that these things are often the body's chemical deficencies...nothing more nor less. You've started, now keep the ball rolling. After you've started seeing your counselor/therapist again, you'll feel free about bringing up some of these additional questions. I'd say that more of us have these problems than don't. Thus, you shouldn't feel ashamed...if you do.

This is a good time of the year to start (except for Coronavirus) and it will give you time to get things going before the holidays are upon us again. Please remember, put it in the forefront of your mind, that a relapse doesn't mean that you'll stay in "that" place forever. No, you're quite capable of pulling yourself out of it again. The longer you let agorophobia go, the harder it is to break. I'd hate to see you keep yourself a prisoner. Funny, isn't it...the things we do to ourselves? You're stronger than you think, and stop thinking of yourself as broken. Pull yourself together, call your counselor or text and see what advice you're given. You're much too young to be throwing yourself away and I don't want to sit on the sidelines and see it happen. Your husband should be gently encouraging you to see the counselor again. Be kind but firm with yourself. Yours, Lenora.

 

[Rufous McKinney]

Please don't be ashamed to admit that your agorophobic or have social-anxiety.

Some of this is likely associated with the Sickness Behavior response, stemming from this illness. I've had all that happening for about 20 years now. I've managed to improve some and don' t get as anxious as I once did. But if I need to go out, I'm tense and my anxiety climbs, because, I believe, we feel vulnerable, not our full functional selves. Simple isssues like- my hyper bladder- it gets more hyper when I go out and that single symptom means- I can hardly go out without hunt for the next bathroom. And one has such a long list of criteria that must be met to- survive a brief outing. My blood sugar- I snack constantly...so I run out of fuel and worry ab out that. Pretty much I never get more than 2 hours out.

that is embarassing, when your working with collegues, that one is a Frequent Bathroom Needed person, while others just go on and on with their body cooperating.

Our bodies often- aren;t cooperating. Yes, I went Wedding Dress shopping with my daughter and her friend and I
'm looking for the next bathroom, just like the TV commercial. And no, I'm not taking their pill.

 

[lenora]

Some of this is likely associated with the Sickness Behavior response, stemming from this illness. I've had all that happening for about 20 years now. I've managed to improve some and don' t get as anxious as I once did. But if I need to go out, I'm tense and my anxiety climbs, because, I believe, we feel vulnerable, not our full functional selves. Simple isssues like- my hyper bladder- it gets more hyper when I go out and that single symptom means- I can hardly go out without hunt for the next bathroom. And one has such a long list of criteria that must be met to- survive a brief outing. My blood sugar- I snack constantly...so I run out of fuel and worry ab out that. Pretty much I never get more than 2 hours out.

that is embarassing, when your working with collegues, that one is a Frequent Bathroom Needed person, while others just go on and on with their body cooperating.

Our bodies often- aren;t cooperating. Yes, I went Wedding Dress shopping with my daughter and her friend and I
'm looking for the next bathroom, just like the TV commercial. And no, I'm not taking their pill.

Hi Rufous......The first time I had anxiety was over 30 yrs. ago and it began with my first surgery. Since I was still young and fesity then, I was able to pull myself out of it. I went to a group called Recovery, Inc., that met once/wk. and all we did was read out of a book, and no discussions, except for the speaker of the day, ever took place about what we were feeling.

Since I was young and strong, I did pull out of that mess. Now the second time it hit was a different story and I wasn't the same person. I was recovering from 3 horrible rounds of shingles, one right after the other, and if ever there is something to deplete you, it has to be shingles. That was my 4th round, and each successive time you have them, they're worse. Thus the nerve damage was rather breathtaking and there wasn't one part of your body or psyche you could trust. That was when I went on a mild anti-anxiety med called Buspar...and it worked wonders and did so for years. Finally it just wasn't cutting it and about 2 years ago I went on the lowest dose of Xanax, which has held me for all this time and through a lot of personal tragedies. I was stuck and finally my neurologist had a good talk with me. I thought it over and did go on the medication. It worked from the first time I took it, I have no desire to go any higher and I've been through quite a few things on just that low dose.

As for your bathroom problems, if they're caused by the usual urinary tract problems, I can tell you that a myofascial Osteopath will be able to take care of you in minutes. Nothing in your privates, but simply by stretching muscles. If I hadn't lived it, I wouldn't believe it. I've never had a day's trouble since and can even do it myself....or I could until my broken wrist. Osteopaths (I've had a few) have been great for me ever since my Ph.D. therapist recommended me to my first probably 30 yrs. ago. It does have to be an Osteopath who works with mainly with their hands...and I've had some very good ones. Check with your herbal man, or any other outside the medical realm for people to help you. They're out there...and they're good. My mistake was in stopping and I'm hoping to start again when things settle down again.

Who knows, they may even be able to help with anxiety, although I've never heard of such a thing.

I hope you're having a pretty good day, that it's pretty there and you're all able to get out. I'll probably chat with you later. Yours, Lenora.

 

[lenora]

Jemima, it was the Alcoholics' Blue Book that I purchased and read as sat going through the feelings I had. It wasn't easy, but it did help me out of a bad situation. As far as you're concerned, I think you may be beyond that although the Blue Book would be of help for you just to read. True, the writing is a bit old-fashioned, but somehow it shows how long people have suffered from so many afflictions. I have no idea why mine was thrown away, but should just stop and buy another one day.

Jemima, please think over what I said. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of your entire family. I think your biological family led you to believe that you were a weak, unbalanced thinker. Don't let them win...as hard as it is, don't let them get the upper hand again. You have us pushing hard for a strong, healthy Jemima...you now have support, please use it. Yours, Lenora.

 

[Jemima37]

Jemima, it was the Alcoholics' Blue Book that I purchased and read as sat going through the feelings I had. It wasn't easy, but it did help me out of a bad situation. As far as you're concerned, I think you may be beyond that although the Blue Book would be of help for you just to read. True, the writing is a bit old-fashioned, but somehow it shows how long people have suffered from so many afflictions. I have no idea why mine was thrown away, but should just stop and buy another one day.

Jemima, please think over what I said. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of your entire family. I think your biological family led you to believe that you were a weak, unbalanced thinker. Don't let them win...as hard as it is, don't let them get the upper hand again. You have us pushing hard for a strong, healthy Jemima...you now have support, please use it. Yours, Lenora.

Thank you so much 😊

I’m sorry I’ve only just seen your reply.

 

[lenora]

Thank you so much 😊

I’m sorry I’ve only just seen your reply.

That's fine, don't worry about it. I hope things are getting better for you. Yes, there will always, always be bumps along the way, someone will be mad at you as you change, but keep going. You're far more capable than you think...remember that. Yours, Lenora.

 

[Jemima37]

That's fine, don't worry about it. I hope things are getting better for you. Yes, there will always, always be bumps along the way, someone will be mad at you as you change, but keep going. You're far more capable than you think...remember that. Yours, Lenora.

Thank you so much.

Im doing ok, well I’ve had a bit of a relapse since lockdown. Just general stress it’s all caused with husband working from home, 3 teens, pets... all been a bit much. So I’ve had my CFS quite intense again every day and that’s raised my anxiety, as has the stress. What a year lol: I hope you’re doing well 💖

 

[Sarahloudobby]

Just wanted to send a hug to you Jemima and to all who need it tonight

 

[Jemima37]

Just wanted to send a hug to you Jemima and to all who need it tonight

Thank you. Sending you a hug back too 💖

 

[lenora]

Thank you so much.

Im doing ok, well I’ve had a bit of a relapse since lockdown. Just general stress it’s all caused with husband working from home, 3 teens, pets... all been a bit much. So I’ve had my CFS quite intense again every day and that’s raised my anxiety, as has the stress. What a year lol: I hope you’re doing well 💖

Jemima....Hello. I'm doing quite well apart from almost 5 wks. with very little to no sleep. The longest I've ever gone, although I did manage a few hrs. here and there last night. Hospitalizations do this to me, along with drugs given by IV, steroids, and anesthetics (I always have problems with them...wake up and never sleep again for weeks on end). But I've avoided being in the hosp. since Apr. so that's excellent news.

Yes, having the entire family at home for all that time straight must be a problem. I heard statistics where it may be a trend that companies will keep as employees turn in more and better quality work than when in an actual office. Here of course, in Dallas, so I don't know for England. Yes, I believe education will chdauange, but I also think as soon as an effective vaccine arrives, children will be back in school. Teen years can be difficult.

It's an adjustment period for all of you, and yes, in the early years we seem to have more flare-ups. I tend to get them now when I try to go out for more than two days in a row. Things then start going in a negative direction. I'll have to ask in-town daughter to cook & celebrate Xmas Eve here...or just come for Xmas. I'm learning my patterns. Family does all the cooking and cleaning up, anyway. You'll be fine, you're stronger than you've ever thought possible. Yours, Lenora.

 

[triffid113]

Ok, so I think u shouldn't look to the physical stresses that happen to you as the cause of your problems, but more to what you can do to help your body handle heavy stress. It is your adrenal gland that handles stress for you so you should think about aiding it. Most basic is that B vitamins are known as the stress vitamins and it us known that you need more of them when under stress. This is pretty general I know. But one strategy, at least, for cfs also involves b vitamins (Freddd's). Do possibly a pattetn there. You need to handle any actual vitamin deficiencies like that first (or I would because the word 'vitamin' means u can't live w/o it). However, there are other adrenal assists lile rhodiola (try 500mg). You might be 2 young for an actual adrenal hormone like DHEA (u peak out at age 30) but DHEA would take care of panic atta ks, maybe 5mg. But rhodiola might do that too if u give it a week or 2. Also, your thyroid and adrenal gland both need zinc to make their hormones. Maybe switch from a multi that has only 15mg zinc to one that has 20-25mg (if the rhodiola isn't enough!)


Um, imstead of low dose DHEA, you might try Holy Basil (tulsi) to lower cortisol since there is an inverse relationship between DHEA and cortisol such that lowering cortisol should raise DHEA

I don't know if this is any help, but this is what I would do. Best wishes.