What type of background in terms of career do you come from? Are you still working? How do you cope with the illness and desire to do good in life?
I apologized if I may sound like a beginner. I've been truly struggling with this (cfs) illness for a while and til this date I still question myself.
Thank you
How about yourself? Are you still managing to work? It can be a hard struggle. I think many of us who were working in a career and then hit the brick wall, tried to keep going for as long as we could - evenings and weekends became times for crashing. Social lives became nonexistent. We will have tried downscaling our roles. Reducing hours. Others might have hit the wall harder and found their time-off work led eventually to unemployment; and for still others downscaling might have led to a more manageable co-existence. It's a mixed picture I suspect: although I have experienced all forms of this.
Originally my career was in finance and private banking - yes sorry I was one of those bastards
You can blame me - I am sure many do
Whilst investment management was my main role - losing private clients money - I was also often involved in project management: various things. One such project was dumped on me as I was trying to manage a return to work after I think about a year's convalescence following the initial viral infection but after my diagnosis of ME. I had 9 months in marketing to launch one of the largest mergers in UK history. Kind of made myself sick completing that one: but I was convinced I could beat it in those days through sheer effort and anyway I had a fiance back then and we were hoping to get back to our island home and marry - lot of pressure but I thought I could handle it.
After the banking and finance - and a rather surprising disability pension - I figured I'd try my hand at education again. So hit college and then university. Don't knock being older and going to university - it was great in the main. A real break from my career and studying ancient history - a hobby until then - was fun. But I figured I was managing my remission and would jump straight back into the bank - who had held the door ajar for me. Of course I was wrong.
After that it was a case of needing to work but not really being up to it. More kidding myself and my employer. This time it was night-shifts at a supermarket. That proved too physical and too fast - they expected a lot more than I could deliver.
Next was a special needs school. Office assistant. I could do that - I thought. That was harder still. Funny really, going from managing millions to not being able to accurately count out the dinner money and balance a basic ledger. It was the same at University. My cognitive issues have a lot to answer for. Anyway, I was barely hanging on to my job at the school when a nasty virus hit the children, then the teachers, then the office. School closed as did others in the town. Needless to say, I was knocked down hard and couldn't get back. Lost my job at the probationary review.
Still lessons learned I think. I wasn't very honest with the school at the interview although I did declare my disability - but remember also claiming that I was 'managing it well'. Go figure. I was in denial and found it hard to accept something that was ever hard to quantify or plan for.
Since then and a long period I suppose of getting my head in order as well as my life; I now volunteer for a local charity and help now with PR. I am also about to help out with a national charity and that might involve some sort of self-employment; but it's all work I can do at home and fit in with my lifestyle. As
Valentijn mentioned above - it was the travelling - especially the walking to and from work - that added to the problems previously: working from home with the internet/phone has a lot of benefits for folk in our position I would say.
And it can still be social too although nothing will replace the kind of social life and pleasure I gained from working full-time in my previous life. But I no longer look back with tears in my eyes and those days are not a feature of my dreams or nightmares. I think I have moved on - but there is still a yearning for what was - especially at a personal level.
