regarding not getting message from "don't call it ME" emails, judging by the ones I have seen, it's possible the message could need to be articulated more clearly if Nancy Lee was mistaken in how she interpreted them.
I would recommend focusing on the definition as key, and mentioning the name as related to that and as an "also vital".
It's not helpful to me to focus on ME versus CFS, because there is no real entity that is CFS. Oxford-CFS is a catch-all for patients no one wants to bother with, including ME and a whole lot of others (missed cases of Lupus, MS, MDD, rare diseases, etc.). Reeves Disease was specifically designed to catch a lot of primary depression (without necessarily having any fatigue, weakness, physical debility, etc. - indeed they don't even have to have a disease of depression, some transient emotional troubles will do). And Fukuda-CFS is a really bad attempt, conflating Mono with their population of ME, and being too vague, and still catches a lot of misdiagnosed other diseases.