Dufresne
almost there...
- Messages
- 1,039
- Location
- Laurentians, Quebec
I've made a few augmentations that seem to be improving the technique. It sounds ridiculous but I'm trying not to be so happy. I suspect my excitable, overly sensitive nature could be feeding a bad loop that's keeping me ill. What I'm focusing on is the cultivation of an inner boredom. As difficult as it sometimes is I'm trying not to allow myself to become excited about anything, good or bad. As I do this I'm feeling more levelheaded, which makes me feel better, but I try not to enjoy it. Perverse isn't it? But it feels as if I'm collecting more and more energy and sublimating it into healing power.
Update:
My continued conscious effort to calm my system eventually landed me with depression. It took several days to manifest, and then a few more painful ones to recognize it. So just like with meditation/mindfulness, cultivation of my"inner boredom" led to an increase in oxidative stress. I think this is because these strategies actually increase oxygenation, and for some of us this only places further stress on the system (think Cheney's theory of oxygen toxicity).
Aspects of Gupta's program I believe to be helpful are the diet, the alternate nostril breathing and, surprisingly, the "stop, stop, stop" of negative thoughts. The diet is one that minimizes acidity/oxidation (no red meat, little sugar, and no caffeine). This is something I came to on my own about six months before trying Gupta, and it made a big difference. The breathing exercise is a way of balancing the ANS. For whatever reason a few minutes of this and the calming it produces doesn't cause me any unwanted oxygenation/stimulation.
I've grown increasingly optimistic about my chances of recovery over the last 2-3 years; as such I wouldn't have thought I waste much energy on negative thoughts. However I decided to give the "stop, stop, stop" part of Gupta's program a go. I also started using it on both negative thoughts and what he calls bodyscanning. The body scanning is something I'm certainly guilty of. Through my years of illness and intense desire to be well I've developed a somewhat over-focused sense of what my body is doing. Although an asset when you're trying to figure out how treatments are affecting you, it's not so good if you're constantly noting "well, there go my frickin calves twitching again." So I've tried to shift my thoughts away from this.
To sum up, I notice a healthy relaxation with the alternate nostril breathing, fewer negative thoughts about symptoms, and a blunting of my excitable response to mold exposure. I think the latter is simply the result of a somewhat toned down ANS.