B12 or B52?
I got totally crazy here at the nursing home Sunday evening… thought I might try the B12 drops I purchased back in December. Really, I decided to tempt fate in a fit of desperation, seeking out a means to (eventually and possibly) resolve my intestinal disorder. Previously, B12 supplementation in any amount and in any form caused notable heart palpitations (days after the fact), as well as temporarily initiating an uncomfortable buzzing energy. But this time, things were far different!
I took 1/4 of 1/8 of a drop, and placed it on my tongue.
And I was flushhhhhed.. with bodily warmth and a sudden urge to defecate. Hooray!?? I also became slightly hyped up… possibly a post-anxiety result after having taken the vitamin. Or maybe the B12 truly ratcheted up my nervous energy levels by its own making.
In prior attempts, B12 has unleashed nervous uncomfortability. So maybe that's it (although previous instances involved vitamin B complex).
Monday, not Mundane
Next on the agenda was changing my probiotic. When I discovered that my current probiotic (that I've been taking for the past year) has potato in it, I nearly lost my luggage. Potato is very bad for me. Potato renders me lethargic and without energy. It also initiates an all encompassing brain fog. And that's from ingesting a small amount. A very very small amount.
So I have to assume they changed the ingredients in my probiotic without formally notifying me. Jerks. I believe it was rice powder before, before miraculously turning into potato starch.
This time I took 1/4 of one capsule with applesauce. And once again, bad things happened. Not awful things, mind you. But my body reacted poorly.
The entirety of my muscles instantly weakened. I was suddenly exhausted. And I had difficulty moving my limbs.
What the hell… right?
Psychosomatic? Did I get a result that I was wanting, needing, and looking for… or even fearing? No. I don't think so. Really, I don't. I did not anticipate any reaction whatsoever. I've been taking probiotics for years without any recognized consequences. But this product has an added unfamiliar ingredient (to me): streptococcus thermophilus!
Maybe that's bad. So please, tell me if it is. This IS a need to know basis.
The brand name is NOW, and the probiotic in question is supposed to help digestive issues - as it contains 25 billion radioactive particles per capsule!
Later Tuesday Evening
Muscles gone. Destroyed. Feels like the old days. It's been hours. Hope to recover tomorrow. Sometimes self-experimentation truly sucks.
Slow Mindedness / Quick Solutions
I've been explaining and detailing how my feeding tube stoma has been leaking and flowing excessively, causing unreasonable pain (as well as other nerve sensitivity complications).
So okay then, let's not go there again. Instead…
I had an epiphany. An intuitive experience.
A singular word made itself known to my visual mind… presenting itself. And then suddenly everything made sense.
"Fast!"
Not my favorite four letter word. But wait, there's more.
As a rule, I must pump nutritional sustenance into my body 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's very necessary that I do so in order to receive a life-sustaining amount of food and fluid. Beyond that, I do something that most human beings never do. I eat while I sleep.
I mean, think about it. I have food pumping into me all night long, as I slumber. And what dawned on me is that my intestines never get a break from processing food. Plus, while we humans sleep, peristalsis slows down considerably. Our intestines shift gears, as do the rest of our bodily organs. And sleep time is also clean up, repair and recovery time. And I haven't been allowing my body to accomplish these tasks uninterrupted since early 2019.
So I decided to change my routine. Overnight, I ran straight water only. And now, my intention is to run straight formula during the daylight hours. No water added. Make sense?
And the preliminary results…
I woke up this morning and my bandage was dry. No formula leakage whatsoever. No bleeding. No bile. No burn. No complications whatsoever. And very little abdominal bloating.
In comparison, over the past couple of weeks, I typically wake up in pain during the wee hours, having to perform extensive wound maintenance. Re-bandaging. Taping. Irrigating. Medicating. Applying ice. Etc.
The entire process takes up to two hours start to finish… although a lot of that time includes airing out the wound.
Either way, I woke up bone dry at 5am. Nice. Very nice. Super nice.
So yes. In a sense, I did fast. I fasted.
Thirty minutes after resuming the feeding formula, I became bloated once again. But that's okay. Because my morning bandage lasted throughout the day and late into the evening. It's 10 p.m. right now, and this bandage is still in great shape. Amazing! Truly it is. I am pain-free.
In the least, my stoma has had a chance to heal. All day long there's been little in the way of irritation. No burn.
Day 2
Less success. That's what I am reporting. With aching exhausted muscles I gave in and added some formula to the mix at 243am. That doesn't mean my new efforts have failed, but I may still be experiencing negative consequences as a result of the probiotic and / or the B12 experience.
Yes. I am frustrated. So many failures.
"Can You Hear Me?"
An immediately engaging woman came up to me in the hallway and said many things in a short amount of time. In response, I opened my mouth and said many unrelated things back to her. And in response to that, she furnished an expressionless face. Or perhaps she was simply befuddled.
"Take off your mask."
I obeyed her command. Then I said a few more things. And this time she laughed and smiled.
"Now I understand. You were being humorous."
After that, everything clicked. We both understood each other, possibly forever more. Then, the next thing I knew, she stuck something deep into my ear hole. It was a sort of instrument. Not like a banjo or a saxophone or anything like that. Something more compact, less musical.
In any case, she then stuck her instrument in my other ear hole, too. And that's when she made a determination.
"You have badly impacted wax. And you know what caused it?"
I did, but she didn't. Despite being all lips and smiles, I couldn't help myself. I corrected her even before she finished my sentence.
"Nope. Not Q-tips… something way worse than Q-tips." I offered.
Her left hand went directly to her right hip.
"Appendicitis? Ah, never mind," I stopped myself.
She seemed to know what I was saying, then overcorrected… rectifying her persuasive posture. I have an unhealthy obsession with McBurney's Point.
"Earbuds. And earplugs. That's what's impacted me."
At first she didn't want to believe me. But then she decided to believe me. She let her guard down. Soon thereafter, her mask followed. Come to think of it, she didn't have a very good guard. It was rather penetrable. Or permeable. No force field in sight. No brick wall cohesively constructed. Nope. She was open to the obvious and all inquiries.
So I asked her things. And this doctor person happened to be a musician, playing piano and other assorted instruments. So we got into musicianship matters for minutes at a time. And then all at once, I realized I should be asking her medical questions regarding relevant and related doctoring things.
So it turns out she may be back someday to resolve the issue. Or she may have someone else resolve the issue for her. She mentioned something about sticking things in my ear and removing the wax manually, some kind of contraption, but she also mentioned drops of hydrofluorocarbons. Or peroxide alginate. Or some mixture of acetaminophen with tetrazzini, brought to a rolling boil.
At that juncture, I didn't really care what she was saying anymore. What's most important is that I met a new person who spoke upon matters worth contemplating and considering. I am easy that way. Presence and intelligence. A willingness to be amused.
Having been momentarily lost in thought, I have no idea what's next on the agenda. And heck, what was her darned designation? …was she an ENT? Perhaps she was on a scavenger hunt. A random human being just passing through. Brandishing medical instruments.
So perhaps my difficulty in hearing has something to do with the impacted wax. I guess we'll find out if and when they choose to resolve this issue.
Solo Contende
I just had an hour of socialization with my pretend adopt-a-family crew. Remember them?
This time, the 16-month-old was being bashful, but otherwise responsive in all the ways that seem to matter most. We interacted considerably, playing peek-a-boo and other Now You See Me, Now You Don't types of games.
It feels good, these people purposely making the effort to spend time with me, when nobody else from my former "real life world" is willing to do the same.
Day 3
Ran 95% straight water overnight (from 1130pm through 6am), and…. NO LEAKAGE! My bandage was dry from end to end.
But, I awoke feeling sluggish again. Muscles aching. So probably I shall keep bumping up the formula to water ratio, seeking out some semblance of overnight feeding nirvana.
Coda
Thanks again for the cards and gifts recently sent… totally unnecessary, yet appreciated all the same. You folks know who you are.
Take care,
Howard
Late Afternoon Updraft -
Early Afternoon, Cerulean Delight -
I got totally crazy here at the nursing home Sunday evening… thought I might try the B12 drops I purchased back in December. Really, I decided to tempt fate in a fit of desperation, seeking out a means to (eventually and possibly) resolve my intestinal disorder. Previously, B12 supplementation in any amount and in any form caused notable heart palpitations (days after the fact), as well as temporarily initiating an uncomfortable buzzing energy. But this time, things were far different!
I took 1/4 of 1/8 of a drop, and placed it on my tongue.
And I was flushhhhhed.. with bodily warmth and a sudden urge to defecate. Hooray!?? I also became slightly hyped up… possibly a post-anxiety result after having taken the vitamin. Or maybe the B12 truly ratcheted up my nervous energy levels by its own making.
In prior attempts, B12 has unleashed nervous uncomfortability. So maybe that's it (although previous instances involved vitamin B complex).
Monday, not Mundane
Next on the agenda was changing my probiotic. When I discovered that my current probiotic (that I've been taking for the past year) has potato in it, I nearly lost my luggage. Potato is very bad for me. Potato renders me lethargic and without energy. It also initiates an all encompassing brain fog. And that's from ingesting a small amount. A very very small amount.
So I have to assume they changed the ingredients in my probiotic without formally notifying me. Jerks. I believe it was rice powder before, before miraculously turning into potato starch.
This time I took 1/4 of one capsule with applesauce. And once again, bad things happened. Not awful things, mind you. But my body reacted poorly.
The entirety of my muscles instantly weakened. I was suddenly exhausted. And I had difficulty moving my limbs.
What the hell… right?
Psychosomatic? Did I get a result that I was wanting, needing, and looking for… or even fearing? No. I don't think so. Really, I don't. I did not anticipate any reaction whatsoever. I've been taking probiotics for years without any recognized consequences. But this product has an added unfamiliar ingredient (to me): streptococcus thermophilus!
Maybe that's bad. So please, tell me if it is. This IS a need to know basis.
The brand name is NOW, and the probiotic in question is supposed to help digestive issues - as it contains 25 billion radioactive particles per capsule!
Later Tuesday Evening
Muscles gone. Destroyed. Feels like the old days. It's been hours. Hope to recover tomorrow. Sometimes self-experimentation truly sucks.
Slow Mindedness / Quick Solutions
I've been explaining and detailing how my feeding tube stoma has been leaking and flowing excessively, causing unreasonable pain (as well as other nerve sensitivity complications).
So okay then, let's not go there again. Instead…
I had an epiphany. An intuitive experience.
A singular word made itself known to my visual mind… presenting itself. And then suddenly everything made sense.
"Fast!"
Not my favorite four letter word. But wait, there's more.
As a rule, I must pump nutritional sustenance into my body 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's very necessary that I do so in order to receive a life-sustaining amount of food and fluid. Beyond that, I do something that most human beings never do. I eat while I sleep.
I mean, think about it. I have food pumping into me all night long, as I slumber. And what dawned on me is that my intestines never get a break from processing food. Plus, while we humans sleep, peristalsis slows down considerably. Our intestines shift gears, as do the rest of our bodily organs. And sleep time is also clean up, repair and recovery time. And I haven't been allowing my body to accomplish these tasks uninterrupted since early 2019.
So I decided to change my routine. Overnight, I ran straight water only. And now, my intention is to run straight formula during the daylight hours. No water added. Make sense?
And the preliminary results…
I woke up this morning and my bandage was dry. No formula leakage whatsoever. No bleeding. No bile. No burn. No complications whatsoever. And very little abdominal bloating.
In comparison, over the past couple of weeks, I typically wake up in pain during the wee hours, having to perform extensive wound maintenance. Re-bandaging. Taping. Irrigating. Medicating. Applying ice. Etc.
The entire process takes up to two hours start to finish… although a lot of that time includes airing out the wound.
Either way, I woke up bone dry at 5am. Nice. Very nice. Super nice.
So yes. In a sense, I did fast. I fasted.
Thirty minutes after resuming the feeding formula, I became bloated once again. But that's okay. Because my morning bandage lasted throughout the day and late into the evening. It's 10 p.m. right now, and this bandage is still in great shape. Amazing! Truly it is. I am pain-free.
In the least, my stoma has had a chance to heal. All day long there's been little in the way of irritation. No burn.
Day 2
Less success. That's what I am reporting. With aching exhausted muscles I gave in and added some formula to the mix at 243am. That doesn't mean my new efforts have failed, but I may still be experiencing negative consequences as a result of the probiotic and / or the B12 experience.
Yes. I am frustrated. So many failures.
"Can You Hear Me?"
An immediately engaging woman came up to me in the hallway and said many things in a short amount of time. In response, I opened my mouth and said many unrelated things back to her. And in response to that, she furnished an expressionless face. Or perhaps she was simply befuddled.
"Take off your mask."
I obeyed her command. Then I said a few more things. And this time she laughed and smiled.
"Now I understand. You were being humorous."
After that, everything clicked. We both understood each other, possibly forever more. Then, the next thing I knew, she stuck something deep into my ear hole. It was a sort of instrument. Not like a banjo or a saxophone or anything like that. Something more compact, less musical.
In any case, she then stuck her instrument in my other ear hole, too. And that's when she made a determination.
"You have badly impacted wax. And you know what caused it?"
I did, but she didn't. Despite being all lips and smiles, I couldn't help myself. I corrected her even before she finished my sentence.
"Nope. Not Q-tips… something way worse than Q-tips." I offered.
Her left hand went directly to her right hip.
"Appendicitis? Ah, never mind," I stopped myself.
She seemed to know what I was saying, then overcorrected… rectifying her persuasive posture. I have an unhealthy obsession with McBurney's Point.
"Earbuds. And earplugs. That's what's impacted me."
At first she didn't want to believe me. But then she decided to believe me. She let her guard down. Soon thereafter, her mask followed. Come to think of it, she didn't have a very good guard. It was rather penetrable. Or permeable. No force field in sight. No brick wall cohesively constructed. Nope. She was open to the obvious and all inquiries.
So I asked her things. And this doctor person happened to be a musician, playing piano and other assorted instruments. So we got into musicianship matters for minutes at a time. And then all at once, I realized I should be asking her medical questions regarding relevant and related doctoring things.
So it turns out she may be back someday to resolve the issue. Or she may have someone else resolve the issue for her. She mentioned something about sticking things in my ear and removing the wax manually, some kind of contraption, but she also mentioned drops of hydrofluorocarbons. Or peroxide alginate. Or some mixture of acetaminophen with tetrazzini, brought to a rolling boil.
At that juncture, I didn't really care what she was saying anymore. What's most important is that I met a new person who spoke upon matters worth contemplating and considering. I am easy that way. Presence and intelligence. A willingness to be amused.
Having been momentarily lost in thought, I have no idea what's next on the agenda. And heck, what was her darned designation? …was she an ENT? Perhaps she was on a scavenger hunt. A random human being just passing through. Brandishing medical instruments.
So perhaps my difficulty in hearing has something to do with the impacted wax. I guess we'll find out if and when they choose to resolve this issue.
Solo Contende
I just had an hour of socialization with my pretend adopt-a-family crew. Remember them?
This time, the 16-month-old was being bashful, but otherwise responsive in all the ways that seem to matter most. We interacted considerably, playing peek-a-boo and other Now You See Me, Now You Don't types of games.
It feels good, these people purposely making the effort to spend time with me, when nobody else from my former "real life world" is willing to do the same.
Day 3
Ran 95% straight water overnight (from 1130pm through 6am), and…. NO LEAKAGE! My bandage was dry from end to end.
But, I awoke feeling sluggish again. Muscles aching. So probably I shall keep bumping up the formula to water ratio, seeking out some semblance of overnight feeding nirvana.
Coda
Thanks again for the cards and gifts recently sent… totally unnecessary, yet appreciated all the same. You folks know who you are.
Take care,
Howard
Late Afternoon Updraft -
Early Afternoon, Cerulean Delight -