We’ve all had those moments when life feels like too much to handle. With all the demands in our modern world, it’s no wonder that we often feel stressed-out and overwhelmed. I’m certainly no stranger to life’s challenges either. In fact, I’m frequently the victim of my own prowess, and I always want to do more. If it’s possible to hoodwink oneself, then I’ve definitely done it—successfully.
It was some random week in January and nobody could see my head because it was, well, up my ass (tacky, I know). Two appointments. Two different days. Same cause and effect: absentmindedness and frenetic chaos. For my first brilliant snafu, I traveled a good ten train stops in the opposite direction of my intended destination. Two embarrassing phone calls to “the wait-er” in an attempt to track my progress and resolve my befuddlement were not sufficient. I needed to run full speed over the main bridge and through a considerable portion of the Frankfurt’s Sachsenhausen district while bouncing from pedestrian to pedestrian like a baby chimp in the hopes that someone would point me in the right direction.
My ill-conceived plan failed and I realized that a taxi would be the most quick and efficient means of transportation. I hailed one and ended up paying three euros for a two-minute ride (I think the meter started out a two euros and twenty cents, so that gives you an idea how far I didn't travel). The most dreadful part was having cold sweats in the cold and coming within inches of barreling into Kathleen’s colleague at a crosswalk.
My second blunder involved sitting alone in excruciatingly awkward silence at a restaurant bar for twenty-five minutes. I could have sat there until closing, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Nobody I knew showed up. ‘Course not. The meeting was scheduled for the following week. I would need to give it another shot some other time. File under: Groundhog Day.
As I sat in the restaurant that evening, flustered and frustrated, I began to ponder life. What if I wasn’t a human? And if given the choice, what would I want to be? Several days later, I came up with my answer: a coconut.
Here’s my logic, several reasons why I wouldn’t mind being a coconut:
Coconuts require warm conditions for their successful nurturing.
I like warm climates.
Coconuts are cross-pollinated.
A decent way to pollinate.
Coconuts have hard shells, white meat, and are high in fat, minerals, and protein.
These are solid characteristics.
Coconuts are used for numerous things: from bird homes to sources of charcoal, to dyes, medicines, mouthwashes, lotions, and food. You name it.
Like Macgyver. Innovative.
A coconut is considered the tree of life because it provides all the natural properties for survival.
Clever.
Also, such things as coconut-flavored iced coffee, a coconut martini, coconut cream pie, and any type of coconut element to a Thai sauce are great, in my opinion.
Therefore, I think it goes without saying that coconut brings joy to my world, and for that, I am grateful. So on days when mistakes abound and everything goes all-wrong, I might take the time to wonder what life would be like as a coconut.
It was some random week in January and nobody could see my head because it was, well, up my ass (tacky, I know). Two appointments. Two different days. Same cause and effect: absentmindedness and frenetic chaos. For my first brilliant snafu, I traveled a good ten train stops in the opposite direction of my intended destination. Two embarrassing phone calls to “the wait-er” in an attempt to track my progress and resolve my befuddlement were not sufficient. I needed to run full speed over the main bridge and through a considerable portion of the Frankfurt’s Sachsenhausen district while bouncing from pedestrian to pedestrian like a baby chimp in the hopes that someone would point me in the right direction.
My ill-conceived plan failed and I realized that a taxi would be the most quick and efficient means of transportation. I hailed one and ended up paying three euros for a two-minute ride (I think the meter started out a two euros and twenty cents, so that gives you an idea how far I didn't travel). The most dreadful part was having cold sweats in the cold and coming within inches of barreling into Kathleen’s colleague at a crosswalk.
My second blunder involved sitting alone in excruciatingly awkward silence at a restaurant bar for twenty-five minutes. I could have sat there until closing, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Nobody I knew showed up. ‘Course not. The meeting was scheduled for the following week. I would need to give it another shot some other time. File under: Groundhog Day.
As I sat in the restaurant that evening, flustered and frustrated, I began to ponder life. What if I wasn’t a human? And if given the choice, what would I want to be? Several days later, I came up with my answer: a coconut.
Here’s my logic, several reasons why I wouldn’t mind being a coconut:
Coconuts require warm conditions for their successful nurturing.
I like warm climates.
Coconuts are cross-pollinated.
A decent way to pollinate.
Coconuts have hard shells, white meat, and are high in fat, minerals, and protein.
These are solid characteristics.
Coconuts are used for numerous things: from bird homes to sources of charcoal, to dyes, medicines, mouthwashes, lotions, and food. You name it.
Like Macgyver. Innovative.
A coconut is considered the tree of life because it provides all the natural properties for survival.
Clever.
Also, such things as coconut-flavored iced coffee, a coconut martini, coconut cream pie, and any type of coconut element to a Thai sauce are great, in my opinion.
Therefore, I think it goes without saying that coconut brings joy to my world, and for that, I am grateful. So on days when mistakes abound and everything goes all-wrong, I might take the time to wonder what life would be like as a coconut.
