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“I’d Be A Coconut”

We’ve all had those moments when life feels like too much to handle. With all the demands in our modern world, it’s no wonder that we often feel stressed-out and overwhelmed. I’m certainly no stranger to life’s challenges either. In fact, I’m frequently the victim of my own prowess, and I always want to do more. If it’s possible to hoodwink oneself, then I’ve definitely done it—successfully.

It was some random week in January and nobody could see my head because it was, well, up my ass (tacky, I know). Two appointments. Two different days. Same cause and effect: absentmindedness and frenetic chaos. For my first brilliant snafu, I traveled a good ten train stops in the opposite direction of my intended destination. Two embarrassing phone calls to “the wait-er” in an attempt to track my progress and resolve my befuddlement were not sufficient. I needed to run full speed over the main bridge and through a considerable portion of the Frankfurt’s Sachsenhausen district while bouncing from pedestrian to pedestrian like a baby chimp in the hopes that someone would point me in the right direction.

My ill-conceived plan failed and I realized that a taxi would be the most quick and efficient means of transportation. I hailed one and ended up paying three euros for a two-minute ride (I think the meter started out a two euros and twenty cents, so that gives you an idea how far I didn't travel). The most dreadful part was having cold sweats in the cold and coming within inches of barreling into Kathleen’s colleague at a crosswalk.

My second blunder involved sitting alone in excruciatingly awkward silence at a restaurant bar for twenty-five minutes. I could have sat there until closing, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Nobody I knew showed up. ‘Course not. The meeting was scheduled for the following week. I would need to give it another shot some other time. File under: Groundhog Day.

As I sat in the restaurant that evening, flustered and frustrated, I began to ponder life. What if I wasn’t a human? And if given the choice, what would I want to be? Several days later, I came up with my answer: a coconut.

Here’s my logic, several reasons why I wouldn’t mind being a coconut:


Coconuts require warm conditions for their successful nurturing.
I like warm climates.


Coconuts are cross-pollinated.
A decent way to pollinate.


Coconuts have hard shells, white meat, and are high in fat, minerals, and protein.
These are solid characteristics.

Coconuts are used for numerous things: from bird homes to sources of charcoal, to dyes, medicines, mouthwashes, lotions, and food. You name it.
Like Macgyver. Innovative.


A coconut is considered the tree of life because it provides all the natural properties for survival.
Clever.


Also, such things as coconut-flavored iced coffee, a coconut martini, coconut cream pie, and any type of coconut element to a Thai sauce are great, in my opinion.

Therefore, I think it goes without saying that coconut brings joy to my world, and for that, I am grateful. So on days when mistakes abound and everything goes all-wrong, I might take the time to wonder what life would be like as a coconut.

Comments

I think you've sold me on coconuts, generally speaking, and Thai food, specifically speaking.

A friend in town has not ever been my friend ever since I forgot we made a date to have lunch. once. She was insulted and I was crushed. I simply was working and since I don't normally take a lunch break, it wasn't until 2 pm I realized I'd missed our lunch date, as my stomach growled. I left her sitting somewhere.

I'm very sorry. What else can I do? Its like you can never undo that one mistake.

This story reminded me of missing the train. My friend and I sat at the station waiting for the announcement of the trains arrival. Our luggage checked.

Eventually, we realized that train left 20 minutes ago with our luggage. Dismayed, we rented a car and drove the entire route.

We arrived 5 minutes before the train and saw our luggage tossed onto the black parking lot on lower Mission, San Francisco. Any body could have taken our luggage. (it was actually a bus, no train actually enters San Francisco) So in Oakland our luggage on the train, got put on a bus. We still beat it.

Driving was faster than the train, covering 350 miles. So much for infrastructure in America.
 
I think you've sold me on coconuts, generally speaking, and Thai food, specifically speaking.

A friend in town has not ever been my friend ever since I forgot we made a date to have lunch. once. She was insulted and I was crushed. I simply was working and since I don't normally take a lunch break, it wasn't until 2 pm I realized I'd missed our lunch date, as my stomach growled. I left her sitting somewhere.

I'm very sorry. What else can I do? Its like you can never undo that one mistake.

This story reminded me of missing the train. My friend and I sat at the station waiting for the announcement of the trains arrival. Our luggage checked.

Eventually, we realized that train left 20 minutes ago with our luggage. Dismayed, we rented a car and drove the entire route.

We arrived 5 minutes before the train and saw our luggage tossed onto the black parking lot on lower Mission, San Francisco. Any body could have taken our luggage. (it was actually a bus, no train actually enters San Francisco) So in Oakland our luggage on the train, got put on a bus. We still beat it.

Driving was faster than the train, covering 350 miles. So much for infrastructure in America.

https://www.latimes.com/california/...-train-costs-rise-roughly-5-billion?_amp=true
 
oh yes, we are trying to build one high speed rail. And to achieve that will require a miracle on par with parting the Red Sea......

the main train line can't even get over our mtns. Our trains include busing.

And that Coast Starlight? its all on its way Into the Pacific Ocean. Literally. I posted photos of that somewhere in PR. (ridiculous, wonder where that thread is?)

if we could get Musks boring machine to just bore the entire route, we could then have sufficient building materials if we could create Legos from it to possibly house our population, many of whom are on sidewalks these days.
 
oh yes, we are trying to build one high speed rail. And to achieve that will require a miracle on par with parting the Red Sea......

the main train line can't even get over our mtns. Our trains include busing.

And that Coast Starlight? its all on its way Into the Pacific Ocean. Literally. I posted photos of that somewhere in PR. (ridiculous, wonder where that thread is?)

if we could get Musks boring machine to just bore the entire route, we could then have sufficient building materials if we could create Legos from it to possibly house our population, many of whom are on sidewalks these days.
😀😢
 
Well, you're not alone. Catching wrong trains, missing buses, and going the wrong direction are all my specialty. And I'm especially great at missing the last train or bus. But I'm also fanatical about being on time, so I stress myself out.

Being a coconut is sounding very nice right now.
 
I can't say I've ever been one for being late or losing direction... but I have had many people through the years delight me with some really great stories of their adventures with direction and time... like driving hours in the wrong direction only to see a "welcome to...." the wrong state sign because they turned the wrong direction half a day before :lol:.
I must say though, there have been times in my life where I wish my ability to be late or go the wrong direction was better honed ;)
 

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Cloudyskies
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