Hi, I will update about the memory loss stuff. (I’ve been told I cannot call it dementia since a specific disease process has not been identified in my brain.)
Firstly, to put it bluntly, everyone went bonkers when my memory loss became pronounced; they all started acting in incredibly bizarre ways, and that sort of carries on getting worse all the time.
As an example: I contacted the Alzheimer’s Society(they deal with various forms of memory loss, not just Alzheimer’s) and told them I really needed help and advice, so this woman came round. I explained to her that the thing my mother needed above all was for someone to sit her down and tell her that my memory was deteriorating and there was no reason to think it was going to get any better. (This has still not happened and I’m starting to accept that it never will; due to my mother’s own memory issues, she can’t take in the information.)
At first the woman looked concerned, but then her attitude started to change. (I think it might have been because I mentioned I didn’t have a diagnosis.) She stopped making eye contact and started to smirk. Then she adopted defensive body language (crossed legs and folded arms), grinned while staring into the corner of the room, and started saying things like, “When you say you can’t make a cup of coffee any more because there are too many steps in the process - well, that doesn’t sound like dementia at all! You’ve got to start taking a bit more responsibility and get back to doing the things you’ve stopped doing. Just make a list if you’re having trouble remembering something.” I started to explain that I always have about ten lists on my computer and phone which I can’t remember to look at and untold paper lists which I lose, but she ignored this and said happily, “In my view, there’s nothing at all wrong with you, and when you see the neruologist I bet he’ll say the same!” (This was true, worse luck.)
At this point my mum turned up. The woman said, “All you have to do to deal with your memory loss is put a whiteboard on the wall. Then, if you want to remember something, just write it on the whiteboard!” This was like pouring petrol on a flame; my mum looked ecstatic and started saying, “Yes, I’ve been saying that for ages! There is nothing wrong with Cheryl - nothing at all!” When the woman had gone she found a whiteboard and stuck it on the wall upside down. My care assistant and I had to spend half an hour cleaning off the old permanent marker writing and then my mother only wrote on the board twice in a year, so that was a glorious success.
That’s quite enough for one post. I will update presently. (I’m sure the whole Azheimer’s Society isn’t like that, I probably just got unlucky.)