Waiting to be a parent

[purrsian]

Congrats @johmil ! While it must be super stressful at times, remember that all new parents have an adjustment period too - it's a huge change to your life after all.

If you're concerned about your child giving you viruses etc, perhaps you could brainstorm strategies to reduce the likelihood? Things like extra hand washing and wiping down counters/toilets during the worst times of year for bugs, using those face masks that are so popular in Asian countries if your child does become sick, supplements or probiotics for either you or the child to help reduce illnesses. I'm in the process of writing out my strategies to help my POTS, as I tend to forget about all the strategies and only do a few. I'm hoping that by writing it out, I can go back to it over time and help ensure I complete everything possible to make my life easier.

And I don't think a child would resent their parent for being sick throughout their childhood if you raise them in a really positive loving environment. It could actually help them become a more understanding and thoughtful person, as they have spent their lives considering their parents needs much more than other children do. As long as you often convey your love and appreciation of both your child and your spouse, then you're providing a better environment than many healthy parents end up providing.

 

[Hugo]

If you're concerned about your child giving you viruses etc, perhaps you could brainstorm strategies to reduce the likelihood? Things like extra hand washing and wiping down counters/toilets during the worst times of year for bugs, using those face masks that are so popular in Asian countries if your child does become sick, supplements or probiotics for either you or the child to help reduce illnesses. I'm in the process of writing out my strategies to help my POTS, as I tend to forget about all the strategies and only do a few. I'm hoping that by writing it out, I can go back to it over time and help ensure I complete everything possible to make my life easier.

Yes we are giving him reuteri probiotics because thats a tested version on infants and its also a probiotic thats in the mothers milk. I also have another weapon against infection in my flat its a aircleaner that has powerfull filters and remove virus and bacteria in the air.

And I don't think a child would resent their parent for being sick throughout their childhood if you raise them in a really positive loving environment. It could actually help them become a more understanding and thoughtful person, as they have spent their lives considering their parents needs much more than other children do. As long as you often convey your love and appreciation of both your child and your spouse, then you're providing a better environment than many healthy parents end up providing.

No in my country its a famous person that has acted this way and even wrote a book about his childhood. I also saw someone on a forum that hated his mother and called her a bloodsucker (for living of his dads wages). But Im not worried about that. I think its other problems involved there and the illness just seems like an excuse to lash out at the parent. The ME-parents I know have loving children so I think its a rare phenomena. Some kids are just not good persons either unfortnatly so its just not the parents.

 

[justy]

Congratualtions @johmil on the birth of your child. There will be ups and downs, but it will all be worth it!

 

[purrsian]

Yes we are giving him reuteri probiotics because thats a tested version on infants and its also a probiotic thats in the mothers milk. I also have another weapon against infection in my flat its a aircleaner that has powerfull filters and remove virus and bacteria in the air.



No in my country its a famous person that has acted this way and even wrote a book about his childhood. I also saw someone on a forum that hated his mother and called her a bloodsucker (for living of his dads wages). But Im not worried about that. I think its other problems involved there and the illness just seems like an excuse to lash out at the parent. The ME-parents I know have loving children so I think its a rare phenomena. Some kids are just not good persons either unfortnatly so its just not the parents.

I agree, probably other problems involved or perhaps the other parent made negative comments around the child in the case of the forum story. I think an important factor is a healthy relationship between the parents, but that's an important factor even for children in completely healthy families.

 

[Hutan]

Congratulations @johmil to you and your wife. I wish you many years of joy together.

This is a very nice (long) video of a young woman with a father with ME talking about her childhood. There may perhaps be some ideas. It's encouraging to see parents who have coped well and produced two very admirable children.

ETA: Just watching it again, it is obvious that the family gets strength from their religious faith. I'm not trying to promote that, personally I'm not religious - to each their own. I hope that aspect of the video is not off-putting to you.

 

[Hugo]

Congratulations @johmil to you and your wife. I wish you many years of joy together.

This is a very nice (long) video of a young woman with a father with ME talking about her childhood. There may perhaps be some ideas. It's encouraging to see parents who have coped well and produced two very admirable children.

ETA: Just watching it again, it is obvious that the family gets strength from their religious faith. I'm not trying to promote that, personally I'm not religious - to each their own. I hope that aspect of the video is not off-putting to you.

No I would think that most kids will be better people if they understand hardship and struggle early on (hopefully without having it themselves). Hopefully it will develop there empathy and I know from kids that have sibblings that are sick usually is very mature, empathic and people with a deep emotional core.