Tired of being single

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I haven't been in a relationship in awhile...man. I'm okay with it. I got sick at 18 and had a 7 year relationship in spite of it. I get out daily, work part time, go to a movie or dinner. I still feel like no way to a super serious relationship.

Problem is, I want a relationship on my terms. I want to see them when I want to see them or I don't. I may want them to spend the night, or I may want them to go home. I'm semi selfish due to the illness.

Right now I'm wishing for someone to kiss. I want to kiss or even something physical. It's been so freaking long. But, I want no complications or expectations.

My friend said to me, "you should just go on the site "Grinder" and hook up with someone." But I'm not that kind of girl! It sounds interesting. It could be fun. ;)

Seeing someone once a week, texting minimally and no expectations, but even as a female, expecting that from a man is rare. Every guy I date, or know at my age is needy. They are divorced and want you to fill the bill of their ex-wife. They're not used to being alone and they don't like it. Whereas, I like being alone. I recharge from being alone.

I would love to meet someone who travels often or has their own passions and life. Want to go golfing with your friends for a week? GO! I don't see myself with anyone all the time. I like the thought of having a part time love but knowing its "love."
Hi Misfit toy, I don't know (zero relationship experience) but I guess a lot of men would like no strings attached kissing/physicality. Whether it is a good idea or not (I guess not) I don't know. I am feeling so much better and now what I want is to hold a man in a sexual way, not even kissing or doing much, I just want to hold his body. I would love a relationship but I think that could take a while (is it me or are so many men nowadays rather feminine?). In the meantime I am struggling not to ring up a male friend and try to seduce him. I think may be I need to take up dancing, the problem is I am a terrible dancer. Any responses from men (to get the male point of view) welcome
 

crypt0cu1t

IG: @crypt0cu1t
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Hey all,

Short story...I've had CFS all my 20's and now in my 30's...a short relationship thrown in, few male friends but am realising dating is not going to happen for me...hard enough when you're not sick but, sick...I feel I have even less chance and am facing my life alone. Do others feel similarly?
Thanks
Well, I'm always down for new friends if you ever want to message me lol It sucks being so ill AND single... This illness is very lonely for sure.

I honestly feel like if i got in another relationship at this point I would just be a huge burden.
 

crypt0cu1t

IG: @crypt0cu1t
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Yes, I find it very painful to have missed my 20's and most of the 30's. I have just turned 40.
I sometimes rant or ask advice about it on the relationships forum here.

Two years ago I had a tiny improvement and decided to start dating for the first time in my life.
It is hard to have the experience of a teenager starting out, in the body of a 40 year old with the energy and health of a 80+ year old. Despite those difficulties, it is better than not trying at all.


You are only in your 30's. How do you know that you are ordained to be alone for life with this? None of us knows what is going go happen.
If you are too ill to find someone now, there is still a chance that you will improve by 10% for example, later on in your 30's, and that would still be enough to enable you to date someone.

It sounds like you have had more experience than me than men and that is already an advantage.
I feel like it may be harder for women who are chronically ill, because since I got sick I dont seem to have a problem meeting girls who are sympathetic to my situation and would date me. The problem is myself tbh, I just dont like being a burden and being taken care of because I was always so independant before this, so I end up telling them I need to work on myself.

Does it feel like its hard to meet guys who are willing to understand?
 
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It's like I jinxed myself by answering this thread. The guy with CFS that I saw 4 times suddenly started to speak to me in a very nasty and irrational way. I realized that he was a bad person and had to stop seeing him.
I have given up on marriage or any fantasy of a soul mate with this same illness who would could share a mutual understanding. It just won't happen. :(

If you only get up at 5pm some days and have a rare illness that doesn't even have a test , then it's too hard. I wish I could be more positive.
 

Jennifer J

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Hi, @redrachel76! I received this thread in my emails and I wanted to say the other day I admire that you haven't given up and you keep trying!

If you only get up at 5pm some days and have a rare illness that doesn't even have a test , then it's too hard. I wish I could be more positive.
Gosh it's soooooo hard with this illness. Every aspect of trying to form any kind of relationship (dating, friendships, doctor/patient, etc). Definitely understand that it makes you want to give up.

For me it's always after feeling so let down and discouraged. I tell myself courage. I rest, restore, regroup and at some point try again. There's always hope and possibility. It's so hard though all we are up against and dealing with.

Hug to you. I'm (probably many of us are) here feeling your pain and cheering you on. :hug: :hug:

Edit: spelling correction
 
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crypt0cu1t

IG: @crypt0cu1t
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It's like I jinxed myself by answering this thread. The guy with CFS that I saw 4 times suddenly started to speak to me in a very nasty and irrational way. I realized that he was a bad person and had to stop seeing him.
I have given up on marriage or any fantasy of a soul mate with this same illness who would could share a mutual understanding. It just won't happen. :(

If you only get up at 5pm some days and have a rare illness that doesn't even have a test , then it's too hard. I wish I could be more positive.
Yeah it's definitely hard to find someone who understands and accepts when you need to sleep...

I have yet to find a person who actually tries to understand when they say they do..

I'm pretty sure that I'll EVENTUALLY find someone, but idk..