Struggling to attend appointments.


Senior Member
I can only write a short note at this moment, but I am very very glad to hear from you.

I agree totally with Rebecca, who is a smart and sensible person, too.

You do NOT sound bad in any way, you sound like someone who does try very hard to do the very best you can do, and you are right to work at the things you are working at. Those ARE the most important ways to take care of yourself. You are truly doing very well, at very difficult things.
They can only be done slowly and in bits, like you are doing them. And they are important, and it is also important to protect yourself from any harms and additionasl upsets that you can. It is the best thing you can do, for your husband and children, as well as for you.

You do NOT sound selfish or a brat or any of those negative things. You sound like a very good person who has had a very difficult series of experiences. Your feelings sound well warranted and those are good decisions, you make, and they would be the right ones, not to go someplace that is not the best place for you to be.

I am very sorry about your uncle and how badly it makes you feel. But it isnt your fault. That he is sick, or that you are not the one caring for him. You should not be at his funeral. That sounds like the right decision to me, And that is not your fault either. I am so sorry for the grief you will feel, when that call comes. Do lean on your husband, and let us know how you are doing.

I am VERY sorry you got that awful and frightening notice, which you should not have gotten. Your overall health is what is important. You must prioritise, and your own doctor knows that too. They send the same notice to every one and i wish they didnt. It does not apply to everyone.

Rebecca's replies were so true and excellent. Read them as often as you want to.

I am so sorry you dont have others to turn to, who can understand , but we do care about you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, it means a lot to me that thise with cfs take their time to reply to me.

Your advice is just what I needed, you and Rebecca have helped so much.

I was doing a bit better with my cfs and then 3 weeks ago we decided to buy 2 rabbits. It was an insentive to get me outside more and weve always kept rabbits but decided against replacing our old ones that passed until I was in a better place, even though hubby and the children care for them when I cant. Anyway, we got 2 and within 3 days 1 suddenly passes away from vhd2 that the breeder hadn't vaccinated him against. It was a week of a huge high to a huge upsetting low. He was ill for 2 days and I had to wait for that horrible call from the vet that he passed. It sounds stupid but I was so devastated. In now on an anxious wait to see if ny ither rabbit has it as it has a long incubation. It's been horrible and it flared up a crash and anxiety again. I'm doing a bit better today then I find our my uncle is suddenly worse and has a week or 2 to live. I'm now on that anxious wait again and it all feels a bit too much. I really wish I didnt have to find out right now as I have to wrap myself up in cotton wool, but that isnt life.

I've not seen my uncle in a few years and I rarely hear from my mum since we stopped seeing each other but she was the one who text telling me about his ill health so I guess she will when he passes so I'm dreading it. I've sent my love to her and to him via my mum.

I'm such a sensitive soul and dont cope with anything like this very well.

Thank you so much.



Northern USA
Northern USA
Oh my, that is very hard, also, J.
To get the 2 rabbits and begin to care for them, (which was such a good decision)
and then, unexpectedly, have it become sad and stressful, and to have one get very ill and pass. That would hit me hard also. And now to be concerned if the other will have the same, and not knowing.

And yes, hearing tht news about your uncle, from your mum, when you haven't been able to see him of course, and your mum hadn't been caring for you and that is the only contact ...... it is definitely enough to upset many of us.
I wouldnt cope well with that, either. And yes, i would try to wrap myself, if i could, in bubble wrap, as much as possible, to preserve myself, but as you say, these awful stressors hit anyway, and we just have to cope the best we can, and ask for support, from those who DO want to give it, as you did coming here to share with us.

You do need to focus on trying to take care of yourself, as it will not help anyone else for you not to.
It is what you deserve, and what your husband and children deserve. Those are who you need to put first now. The others did not care well for you, so you need to focus now on putting yourself and your dear ones who are good to you, first.

Lets also remember the positive steps and strides you have been making. Those are important.


How are you @Jemima37 ?I am incredibly impressed with your inner strength and bravery through all the many difficulties you face. Your authenticity, your kind heart.....everything.

They keep an eye on us now and then, you know....the ones who love us and who we love -after they have left this world. So I am not telling you what you should believe, just letting you know what I have been shown.
They never ever stop loving us. So you have Spirit helpers. And try not to be afraid of them "going home". They go to a beautiful place where their love shines even more strongly.
And that includes the animals too.

My kindest thoughts sent your way. :heart: