Spirituality your stories ....

[pamojja]

@Inca Admitted, after 30 years practicing Pali-scriptures described practice, I didn't know and had to google 'Tulpa'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulpa - originating in this form from Theosophy. Wholesome visualizations, in is this form of visualizing helpful personalities only found in Vajrayana branch of Buddhism, is in Pali scriptures also described and fits basically 'Samadha' meditation.

It is wholesome practice, no need to feel wasting your time at all. As long as you're aware, of dealing with mental energies only.

Saying this, can you explain my a little further what vipassana meditation consists of? I cannot recall right now. If I remember correctly, it consists of focusing on a object, 'emptying' your mind and attaining samadhi.

Vipassana meditation can only be properly understood and practiced in the context of the 8-fold path, of which samadhi is its 8th part only.

Vipassana itself could be translated as 'seeing things as they have become'. It is a meditative method to develop one pointedness (samadhi) - and at the same time - Wisdom (panna) through investigation of directly experienced phenomena and noumena. Samadhi in this case is only a means, calming the mind, to see and understand clearly (without distortion of dualistic thinking). But please, in the context of the eightfold path only:

1, wholesome perspectives
2. wholesome intentions
3. wholesome speech
4. wholesome actions
5. wholesome livelihood
6. wholesome effort
7. wholesome mindfulness (sati)
8. wholesome onepointedness (samadhi)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noble_Eightfold_Path

The numbering doesn't imply any climax in samadhi (which isn't the goal), but rather the direction of development. All 8 have to be developed for it to work. Though the first 5 are considered necessary preparatory work, the last 3 have to develop in unison for fruition.

I believe Christianity is needed for meaning, love, purpose, connection to God. It also explains the mystery of suffering through the symbol of the cross.

Christianity, which I followed in my youth, had the bad effect with my particular preconditions, that I suppressed every negative emotion ('love thy neighbor'), until I also didn't felt anything positive either.

Buddhist practice pragmatically was more like psychotherapy to me. Exploring all my suppressed psychological abysses and shadows. And moreover it opened the perception of direct compassion for me, never thought possible.

I now think one isn't really able to emphasize with the suffering of others, as long as one has dared to face one's own to its bottom with kindness.

However, just met a Christian energy healer, which told about 2 Buddhist clients with the same problem of too much intellectualization (without directly experiencing). So with prevalent preconditions, this mistake can happen on every spiritual path.

Therefore, the meaning, love, connection to every being, is now in my case not only in my head, but I feel directly with my whole body. Using pragmatically the means which work for me.

 

[pamojja]

I find Buddhism somehow extreme.

For me only, it's the most mellow. No extortion to missionize in any way. Since it's cognizant of needing individualized paths (at least in its most ancient tradition). Lay persons may practice ethical principles for their own and others good, but are still welcome if they don't. No condemnation of an abstract outside evil, but embracing and melding it away in one's, initially unconscious, self.

Its most extreme seeming concepts stem from the inability of dualistic thinking (ie. you and me,...), not being able to grasp what can be experienced as systemic oneness with a really quietened mind.

 

[pamojja]

Exploring all my suppressed psychological abysses and shadows. And moreover it opened the perception of direct compassion for me, never thought possible.

Maybe I should clarify better, to not make it seem more otherworldly as it is, or appear baggy. I'm not particularly compassionate, since when young I could not even feel my own emotions.

That's also why at first, present moment awareness is trained where it is easier with: body sensation and how subjectively felt (agreeable, neutral or disagreeable). Only with some further training, one becomes able to stay present with emotions, intents or thought too (since untrained, those usually take one away from the present, to engage in what just passed, or the future - but away from now).

Under intense retreat-conditions (30-20 years ago, only) it was like learning the ABC of emotions for me. For example, stabbing pain in my chest = painful = only to arrive after some time to the correlation of hateful thoughts and maybe very old anger with such phenomena. Much, much later, surrender to what is presenting itself, the wish to alleviate such pain (also from grief, formerly unknown passions, etc.) and to forgive, Which often climaxed in a momentary shower of vibrations down the body with goose pimps, sort of washing it away. However, difficult to identify oneself with, since it occurs with too many non-self conditions coming together,

I couldn't resist but cognize: it felt like a glimpse of a mercifully divine, potentially in all of us. Anyway, it is phenomena unfolding with intense - morning to evening - practice. And with a clean slate, so to speak, one's own body become also able to resonate with what is felt painfully in others (mirror neurons? - or just the same non-self elements in each of us, able to resonate?). Sometimes carried over a few days after the retreat, but not for years. I'm not a better person because of such past glimpses.

Definitely also not unique to Buddhist practice, neither. Later back to ordinary life earning a living, I tried to engage in a therapy method (Focusing), with at its principles also incorporates the same dynamics as in silent vipassana meditation (with the advantage to be communicable). There in intense Focusing training sessions it could happen too (teacher meant: such 'accidents' in empathy can happen). Nothing unique to Buddhism.