• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of, and finding treatments for, complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia, long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

    To become a member, simply click the Register button at the top right.

Practical ways of looking nice

JaimeS

Senior Member
Messages
3,408
Location
Silicon Valley, CA
This thread is so lovely.

Has anyone thought of doing some boutique clothing boxes? You enter your sizes online and they send you clothing every once in awhile. I'm with @lior -- when I go out I make sure I look put together, it does wonders if I've been feeling awful. Having new things once in awhile is great, and most of these organizations make it super-easy to return things by including already-paid postage. In the US I've tried a few different brands, but I like ThirdLove and Trunk Club. Stitchfix is hit or miss, and M.M. LaFleur is just plain too rich for my blood, although their stuff looks cool.
 

jesse's mom

Senior Member
Messages
6,795
Location
Alabama USA
allright... i need this thread and you humans to help me.
I bought a new blue bathing suit to wear to the beach last week. Now this is a very good bathing suit. It smashes in all the right places.

I live about an hour from the beach and we have a boat... My life is centered around children and life around the warm water.
I am not coming to grips with all the weight I have gained in the seven years I have been ill. (over 50 lbs)
My friend took a photo of me and texted to me. I seriously look like a beached whale!

So, I think the problem is not the bathing suit it is the shock of the weight gain. I cannot stay active enough to lose the weight. I have to change some core beliefs around fat and what is beautiful.

I do try to keep a smile on my face and I am a really happy fun and funny person in general...

Is my thinking flawed?
 

alkt

Senior Member
Messages
339
Location
uk
allright... i need this thread and you humans to help me.
I bought a new blue bathing suit to wear to the beach last week. Now this is a very good bathing suit. It smashes in all the right places.

I live about an hour from the beach and we have a boat... My life is centered around children and life around the warm water.
I am not coming to grips with all the weight I have gained in the seven years I have been ill. (over 50 lbs)
My friend took a photo of me and texted to me. I seriously look like a beached whale!

So, I think the problem is not the bathing suit it is the shock of the weight gain. I cannot stay active enough to lose the weight. I have to change some core beliefs around fat and what is beautiful.

I do try to keep a smile on my face and I am a really happy fun and funny person in general...

Is my thinking flawed?
if your a happy and fun person to be around then you are a beautiful human being .
 

BadBadBear

Senior Member
Messages
571
Location
Rocky Mountains
@jesse's mom I don't think you have flawed thinking. I have also gained some unwanted weight and struggle with accepting myself and my body changes. I think it is not only lost energy to worry about it but we really don't need the stress, either.

Last year I was able to lose some extra weight, this year I cannot, so l am working at being ok with it. Just have to let go and not worry.

Maybe a cute beach cover up to go over the suit?
 

hellytheelephant

Senior Member
Messages
1,137
Location
S W England
I think pretty much anyone who is chronically ill has some big changes to their body.

A soft body ( ie. mine) is not what we are taught to admire, or what we see constantly on tv and cinema. I admire you for having shopped for a suit- it would be my nightmare. I shopped for a bikini in a boutique years ago and ended up in tears! I It is hard to admit that I feel that shallow- but I do!

Personally, I agree with the shorts idea- wearing something you haven't worn in the past will lessen the comparisons....and shorts can look very funky! It sounds like you are basically, smiley and fun and with all that you have to contend with, then you rock, and will look amazing!!- :hug:
 

jesse's mom

Senior Member
Messages
6,795
Location
Alabama USA
Thank you all for your responses. I really so think my attitude is helpful with every aspect of my life and my illness. Balancing having boundaries because of chronic illness.. the features of light and sound sensitivity with being a fun happy person (my core personality). It is hard to keep a smile on my face when I make someone laugh, then their laugher is so loud it is a double edged sword. Being happy really helps me feel better... and people are more willing to help me if I am not crying but just asking directly for help.

So, I think a practical way of looking nice is practicing pacing so I can keep a smile on my face.

It is difficult when we are in pain, exhausted and sometimes medicated to hold on to my favorite aspects of myself; i.e. my sense of humor and love of people especially children.

Here I am in America where if you are not thin, active and beautiful you are marginalized! SAD

A smile is a beautiful thing.
 

perchance dreamer

Senior Member
Messages
1,707
@jesse's mom, I love these Lands End rash guards, a long-sleeved shirt suffused with SPF. I wear them by the pool and when I swim. They are really cute and keep the sun off my chest, which does not need sun exposure. They are available in both solids and prints.

https://www.landsend.com/shop/searc...chText=rash&searchLabel=rash guard in women's

When I'm around other people, I wear quick-drying shorts over my swimsuit bottom. Even my young, hip niece wears them, too.
 

Sushi

Moderation Resource Albuquerque
Messages
19,939
Location
Albuquerque
as anyone thought of doing some boutique clothing boxes? You enter your sizes online and they send you clothing every once in awhile.... most of these organizations make it super-easy to return things by including already-paid postage. In the US I've tried a few different brands, but I like ThirdLove and Trunk Club. Stitchfix is hit or miss, and M.M. LaFleur is just plain too rich for my blood, although their stuff looks cool.
Just got this from Amazon Prime today:
As a valued Prime member, we’re offering you an exclusive invitation to check out Prime Wardrobe—your most fashionable Prime benefit yet!
This new program—which is included with your Prime membership—brings the fitting room to you, so you can try the latest styles and find your perfect fit before you buy. With Prime Wardrobe, you can order clothing, shoes, and accessories at no upfront charge, take seven days to decide what you love, and only pay for what you keep. Not only do you get to choose which pieces you want to try from great brands, but, for a limited time, you will receive $20 off when you spend $200+ on purchases from your Prime Wardrobe box.

Should you need to make a return, it’s more hassle-free than ever: Simply use the resealable package and provided prepaid label and drop off your box at a UPS location.
 

Pink

Senior Member
Messages
574
Location
Tri state area
I wasn't impressed with the clothes on prime wardrobe. A lot of unknown brands, nothing really appealed to me or my husband (both men & women's clothes.)
A big problem for me is my skin itches & burns out of the blue, so a lot of clothes don't work for me. Also wearing pants or leggings makes my legs ache like they're being weighted down (even if the pants are loose & lightweight).
 

jesse's mom

Senior Member
Messages
6,795
Location
Alabama USA
So, I looked at my glasses today. They were so dirty! I have a feeling I just get numb to it as my eyes get tired anyhow and my vision blurs.

I was thinking well, Silly wash your glasses... how can anyone see your pretty eyes thru dirt and smears! Easy peasy.
 
Back