sunshine44
Que sera sera
- Messages
- 1,166
So, since becoming severely ill with all of this over the past 2 1/2 years..... my husband has been completely unsupportive and believes I have created this illness mostly.
I have tried so many things to get better from IV antibiotics and lots of other expensive treatments but am now bedbound and working my way through/out of this.
We have two children together. As you can imagine this has been incredibly challenging having them see their mother go from healthy to so ill but then to have a father that is a basketcase and yells all the time, sees no wrongdoing as he feels hes entitled to his anger and so forth.
This isn't about pulling the victim card but lets just say he has been awful, planning backpacking trips (out of state) when I needed rides to and from IV treatments in 2017, blaming me for getting sick, yelling at me when my legs couldn't walk and I was terrified of what was happening to me and please get me to a hospital, making fun of me for being in a wheelchair, etc. Its really not good....but hes our sole provider and I have to get better to be able to support myself and children.
As some of you know from boards, I have been in a very difficult place physically and emotionally since August crash. I am at a new level now. I need to get myself empowered....somehow. He threatens of leaving daily now. Does anyone have any ideas of things I can do to help bring in money? ha! in my condition but you know....the limited amount of time I can spend on computer (I have been denied disability due to being a homemaker so many years and running an etsy shop). I know where there is a will there is a way. I don't exactly see it right now but I have to have a plan for me and my kids.
We have already loaned money from family for the first time in our lives over past year...that is not an option anymore.
Yes, I am terrified if he leaves how will I make food, etc but I need to focus right now on what I can do because I already live in so much fear.
Funny, how when I was beautiful and charming and functional....he was there …..but when shit hit the fan.....he couldn't do the thick of this Through sickness and health.....not so much it turns out.. I am learning some very difficult lessons.
I know caregivers do NOT have an easy road either. But yelling and making a person feel bad for existing during some of the worst days of their life...isn't ok either.
I have tried so many things to get better from IV antibiotics and lots of other expensive treatments but am now bedbound and working my way through/out of this.
We have two children together. As you can imagine this has been incredibly challenging having them see their mother go from healthy to so ill but then to have a father that is a basketcase and yells all the time, sees no wrongdoing as he feels hes entitled to his anger and so forth.
This isn't about pulling the victim card but lets just say he has been awful, planning backpacking trips (out of state) when I needed rides to and from IV treatments in 2017, blaming me for getting sick, yelling at me when my legs couldn't walk and I was terrified of what was happening to me and please get me to a hospital, making fun of me for being in a wheelchair, etc. Its really not good....but hes our sole provider and I have to get better to be able to support myself and children.
As some of you know from boards, I have been in a very difficult place physically and emotionally since August crash. I am at a new level now. I need to get myself empowered....somehow. He threatens of leaving daily now. Does anyone have any ideas of things I can do to help bring in money? ha! in my condition but you know....the limited amount of time I can spend on computer (I have been denied disability due to being a homemaker so many years and running an etsy shop). I know where there is a will there is a way. I don't exactly see it right now but I have to have a plan for me and my kids.
We have already loaned money from family for the first time in our lives over past year...that is not an option anymore.
Yes, I am terrified if he leaves how will I make food, etc but I need to focus right now on what I can do because I already live in so much fear.
Funny, how when I was beautiful and charming and functional....he was there …..but when shit hit the fan.....he couldn't do the thick of this Through sickness and health.....not so much it turns out.. I am learning some very difficult lessons.
I know caregivers do NOT have an easy road either. But yelling and making a person feel bad for existing during some of the worst days of their life...isn't ok either.
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