My Lifeline

[jesse's mom]

I went through lots of this for a while. Thankfully my husband went and got psychological help after about the 4th or 5th year of my being sick. It took my mom years of blaming me and thinking it was self pity and my own fault. It was a horrible time!

I think it is horrendous how he is handling this! Making fun of a sick person is wrong on so many levels. The stress can make you even sicker!

I agree that you need to really dig your heels in and don't leave. Let him leave you! I might consult a divorce attorney and see what a divorce would cost him financially. Sometimes when people see things in black and white their attitudes change. I would immobilize your army of friends and get them to help you emotionally and with finding the very best divorce lawyer in your area. This is actually what got my husband's attention. They hate to get hit in the checkbook!

Have you got your Drs records and has a Dr stated that you are disabled?

Is @Gingergrrl aware of this situation? She may have time to weigh in with information and strength.

 

[Wishful]

I wonder if some people's denial of reality of ME has a reason. If someone admits that someone else can fall victim to a disabling disease, with no treatment and no way to avoid it, then they also have to admit that it can happen to them. I think some people will prefer to deny reality rather than face that fear. It also seems reasonable, from a brain function perspective, for that denial to come out as aggression. I'm not defending it, just pointing out a possible explanation for why it occurs. Maybe it's already a known psychological reaction, but I'm not going to dig through research papers to find out.

 

[jesse's mom]

You make an interesting point @Wishful I would like to see what you dig up.

When people look mortality in the eye, many times it is easier to look away!

 

[Wishful]

Nope, sorry, but not digging through psych stuff. Whenever I've read psych books, I've always been wondering whether they actually know what they're talking about. Hard sciences tend to have testable claims. With soft sciences, even if they do some experiments, it's often hard to prove that the tests were valid for testing whatever was claimed.

I'll let someone who enjoys psych stuff dig around if it interests them.

 

[jesse's mom]

Sorry @Wishful I misunderstood you. Noted

 

[Gingergrrl]

Is @Gingergrrl aware of this situation? She may have time to weigh in with information and strength.

I'm so sorry, I somehow missed this thread and being tagged! Please send me a PM @sunshine44 if I can be of any help. I am (almost) legally divorced, after a long journey to get here. I am NOT saying that is what you should do b/c no one knows what is truly going on inside of any relationship except for the two people who are in it. But please PM me if I can be of any help or support.

 

[jesse's mom]

@sunshine44 ... Gingergirrl has been a friend of mine since I first found PR. She has been through a lot and knows the ropes very well.

 

[Shoshana]

I think of you very often, @sunshine44
I think you already know that, but I thought I would tell you again.

 

[sunshine44]

I think of you very often, @sunshine44
I think you already know that, but I thought I would tell you again.

thank you Shoshana <3 How are you? It has been an incredibly tough week for my body and brain. Really trying to work with it. Sending you love.

 

[Stretched]

Thank you for your concern. I have a lot of fear already so I am working on seeing things from different angles as much as possible. I am not in an abusive situation. Just a husband that mentally checked out, hes not up for this.

I just happened on this thread about your ‘story’... . Fwiw, I want to say that in my book you are one tough lady with a terrific sense of equanimity in dealing with such an awful ordeal. I hope you’ll continue to maintain your level head in seeking options and that soon good things will come your way. You’re due for a windfall.

 

[sunshine44]

I just happened on this thread about your ‘story’... . Fwiw, I want to say that in my book you are one tough lady with a terrific sense of equanimity in dealing with such an awful ordeal. I hope you’ll continue to maintain your level head in seeking options and that soon good things will come your way. You’re due for a windfall.

 

[taniaaust1]

I wonder if some people's denial of reality of ME has a reason. If someone admits that someone else can fall victim to a disabling disease, with no treatment and no way to avoid it, then they also have to admit that it can happen to them. I think some people will prefer to deny reality rather than face that fear.

I actually think that many of these who deny another's reality of ME don't think about it possibly happening to them. They are more concerned about the impacts the other will have on their selves and just dont at all imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes with it.

Like "fair weather" friends put up some kind of wall in bad times. They just want everything good and happy about them, by denying anothers issues are real they can keep "trying" to live in their own dream world and not have to think about things maybe having permanently changed. After all , they will just keep believing that you can change yourself and get better any time you want too.

Anyway, denial of another's reality is something often just selfishness on the others part. I wish it was cause they were actually scared of being in our shoes as we may then get the understanding of those people faster.

 

[Archie]

Must be really hard sunshine44 , i hope there is better days ahead for you .