- Messages
- 97
- Location
- Glasgow, Scotland
Hi everyone again! I thought I'd post a thread focusing specifically on brain fog as it is by far the symptom I'm most affected by, and imagine that many others are too. I'd like know of others on here in a similar boat and if they have found ways of managing, treating or perhaps curing such symptoms. In my case, as well as steadily progressive cognitive problems, my emotions and some aspects of my vision are declining in a similar maner. Along with brain fog, I also feel as if I have vision fog and emotional fog.
About two and a half years ago I first noticed this brain fog one day when I came into college and resumed working on my almost completed Graded Unit, being just 4 days away from completing the course. After previous months typing pages of sound engineering knowledge, projects I was doing and plans to start my own audio business, I was shocked to find that I couldn't think of a single sentence to add to my work, my mind was completely blank and my head only hurt trying. Thinking it was just a flu, I thought I would be able to get an extension to complete my course, but after my flu symptoms cleared within a week, the brain fog continued, just kept getting worse and has continued to do so since. More specifically, my recall, imagination and creativity is most affected by this and I feel as if my thoughts are becoming more and more two-dimentional and black and white. Being autistic, I used to have a great photographic memory and be able to imagine things really well visually. But these days, my mind is stuck in almost pitch darkness, with the odd sparks and flashes of these thoughts I once had. I worry that these thinking abilities will continue to deteriorate until I'm in a state of total nothingness, unless I manage to get to the bottom of it and at least stop any further decline.
After a year and a few months since this brain fog started, I found my emotions gradually beginning to slip away as well, taking me further into a state of anhedonia. I can tell that this isn't caused by depression, but rather due to my brain's processing speed becoming slower and slower. It's still continuing to get worse and the only way I can experience those emotions now is by trying to remember what it was once like to feel them and to try and recall the events that once triggered them. I hardly watch movies or play video games these days as I no longer get any sort of buzz or enjoyment out of doing so. And even when playing gigs with the bands I'm in, I feel like it's more like a job than a hobby nowadays. But despite this, it's the only thing left that gives my life any meaning or purpose these days. I'm still glad to say I have a unique musical talent and I'm willing to get out and make the most of it while I still can. But like the imaginative and thinking aspects of my brain fog, I fear that my emotions will continue to deteriorate and one day progress to complete anhedonia.
A few months before my emotions began deteriorating and flattening, some aspects of my vision began to decline too. More specifically, the peripheral and outside areas of my vision seem more blurred out and I feel rather zoomed in, being only able to focus on what I'm seeing directly in the middle of my vision field. While my eyes are capable of seeing in my peripheral areas, my brain is oblivious to them unless I concentrate in looking in those areas. It's almost like a form of mental tunnel vision. I also find that I can't think and notice what my eyes are seeing at the same time. It's almost like there is so little energy in my brain that it takes nearly all of it to properly perform one process at a time, so thinking and interpreting what I'm seeing is like having to multitask. My vision is also becoming more flickery, with static and random dark shapes flying around, particuarly when I'm looking at plain white objects. It's much like watching something on a projector, as opposed to an HD TV when I wasn't ill. And much like the other aspects of my brain fog, this is also something that continues to this day to deteriorate.
Can anyone else relate to any of this with their brain fog? Have any of you been in a position where you feel hopeless as your thoughts, emotions and personality slip away? And has anyone in this situation managed to find relieve from this worrying state and been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
About two and a half years ago I first noticed this brain fog one day when I came into college and resumed working on my almost completed Graded Unit, being just 4 days away from completing the course. After previous months typing pages of sound engineering knowledge, projects I was doing and plans to start my own audio business, I was shocked to find that I couldn't think of a single sentence to add to my work, my mind was completely blank and my head only hurt trying. Thinking it was just a flu, I thought I would be able to get an extension to complete my course, but after my flu symptoms cleared within a week, the brain fog continued, just kept getting worse and has continued to do so since. More specifically, my recall, imagination and creativity is most affected by this and I feel as if my thoughts are becoming more and more two-dimentional and black and white. Being autistic, I used to have a great photographic memory and be able to imagine things really well visually. But these days, my mind is stuck in almost pitch darkness, with the odd sparks and flashes of these thoughts I once had. I worry that these thinking abilities will continue to deteriorate until I'm in a state of total nothingness, unless I manage to get to the bottom of it and at least stop any further decline.
After a year and a few months since this brain fog started, I found my emotions gradually beginning to slip away as well, taking me further into a state of anhedonia. I can tell that this isn't caused by depression, but rather due to my brain's processing speed becoming slower and slower. It's still continuing to get worse and the only way I can experience those emotions now is by trying to remember what it was once like to feel them and to try and recall the events that once triggered them. I hardly watch movies or play video games these days as I no longer get any sort of buzz or enjoyment out of doing so. And even when playing gigs with the bands I'm in, I feel like it's more like a job than a hobby nowadays. But despite this, it's the only thing left that gives my life any meaning or purpose these days. I'm still glad to say I have a unique musical talent and I'm willing to get out and make the most of it while I still can. But like the imaginative and thinking aspects of my brain fog, I fear that my emotions will continue to deteriorate and one day progress to complete anhedonia.
A few months before my emotions began deteriorating and flattening, some aspects of my vision began to decline too. More specifically, the peripheral and outside areas of my vision seem more blurred out and I feel rather zoomed in, being only able to focus on what I'm seeing directly in the middle of my vision field. While my eyes are capable of seeing in my peripheral areas, my brain is oblivious to them unless I concentrate in looking in those areas. It's almost like a form of mental tunnel vision. I also find that I can't think and notice what my eyes are seeing at the same time. It's almost like there is so little energy in my brain that it takes nearly all of it to properly perform one process at a time, so thinking and interpreting what I'm seeing is like having to multitask. My vision is also becoming more flickery, with static and random dark shapes flying around, particuarly when I'm looking at plain white objects. It's much like watching something on a projector, as opposed to an HD TV when I wasn't ill. And much like the other aspects of my brain fog, this is also something that continues to this day to deteriorate.
Can anyone else relate to any of this with their brain fog? Have any of you been in a position where you feel hopeless as your thoughts, emotions and personality slip away? And has anyone in this situation managed to find relieve from this worrying state and been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?