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I think I'll have to just wait and see, take it one day at a time, and not overthink it as my partner has mentioned. It is undeniably a little scary to plan for such a big move and yes @Learner1 my illness makes it all the more concerning.
I'm sort of hovering between Philadelphia, Denver, and Seattle for different reasons. The hot and cold fluctuations are not extreme, so they all have that in common.
Pros/cons:
Seattle: the fact that it is prone to some major natural disasters has really worried me. My partner absolutely hates grey skies. Advantage: absolutely beautiful natural environment, apparently good healthcare/naturopaths/functional medicine doctors. Expensive to affordable based on my budget. Nice suburbs appear to be a close drive from downtown.
Denver: weather that appeals to both of us. Does not have the incredible nature of Seattle (it does, but it is not the kind of nature that one lives "in" -- it doesn't have the lush abundant nature, large trees, etc). But then again, maybe I should de-romanticize as mentioned above and take the best of what I can get. A little unsure about the medical resources but Denver seems to offer something in the way of competent doctors/medicine. Expensive to affordable based on my budget. Does not appear to be a walker friendly city.
Philadelphia: four distinct seasons, weather does not appear to be extreme, connected to other hubs on the East coast. Not sure if it offers much in the way of major universities and by extension if anybody there is known for their medical expertise. Appears to be affordable. Nice suburbs appear to be farther away from downtown.
Since you guys are gays I suggest NYC.