• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of and finding treatments for complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia (FM), long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

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missing out

Messages
44
Do u all feel usless like look in on family yet not able to do things they doing

Like tday i tryd go out go food shopping only lil store i gt harly down first lane i had go car

Feel like i cant go nowhere
Doing anythg anymore i feel lot better i think if i didnt have pots on top me/ cfs sorry for rant
 

ahmo

Senior Member
Messages
4,805
Location
Northcoast NSW, Australia
Sorry to hear you feel useless. We're all conditioned to believe we need to be useful. But what about a tree that's no good for timber, no good to burn, too crooked to chop down...but it shelters a world of critters, small animals feed and shelter there, you can sit in its shade and dream or play your flute....

It's not easy to come to terms with all that we can't do. Slowly we find ways to remake our world and find what we are able to do, what really matters. Sorry if this is a clumsy post. There's a lot of grief involved in this chronic illness, especially letting go of who we were and what we used to do. Remembering that we are human beings, not human doings.
flower-smiley.gif
 
Messages
44
Thank u for yrh kind reply i try to focus on good things at moment ot just lil harder to be postive at moment i will try i hope u to have good day tomorrow
 

Apple

Senior Member
Messages
217
Location
UK
I feel the same @Cinderella24 . We are the same age, and I have missed on so much. :(

Have you considered getting a wheelchair to help you with these sorts of things?

P.S If you're near an asda - they have mobility scooters that you can hire to go around the store!
 

CantThink

Senior Member
Messages
800
Location
England, UK
Do u all feel usless like look in on family yet not able to do things they doing

Like tday i tryd go out go food shopping only lil store i gt harly down first lane i had go car

Feel like i cant go nowhere
Doing anythg anymore i feel lot better i think if i didnt have pots on top me/ cfs sorry for rant


Have you tried using a wheelchair or scooter? You could borrow one (lots of supermarkets and garden centres plus big stores like DIY ones and IKEA type places have them and so do the National Trust and attractions like zoos and museums, or the Red Cross loans wheelchairs short term if you want to use one more).

IME The issue isn't just walking/exerting, but being upright. So if you can be seated (legs up is even better but difficult to do unless have a special wheelchair) you might find you can manage a little easier and for longer. Compression socks might help a bit.

Being able to do stuff at home - it is harder to adapt I think. I use a perching stool in kitchen. All other times I'm sitting down as much as possible and legs up when I can do so. I guess some of our family life has been scheduled around this.
 

Ellie_Finesse

Senior Member
Messages
192
Location
UK
Hi @Cinderella24, am so sorry you feel that way :hug: I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better, often there just isn't the right words.

I have been feeling the same as you lately. My 14 yr old daughter smiled at me this morning and said "Mum, I love you and I know your very poorly and can't do much, but you need to be strong and positive. You will get on your bike again". Bless her, she means well must be hard for her too. I think we forget that sometimes in our suffering. She gave me the swift kick I needed. :).... That is until the next time I have wobbly moment ;)

Just to add to what @Apple said..... Some Tesco stores have mobility scooters too that you can borrow when you are shopping.
 

digital dog

Senior Member
Messages
646
The guilt and disappointment trying to look after a child when you are ill with ME is soul destroying.
I don't think I can live through it sometimes.
So much life lost.