- Messages
- 71
So it's the middle of my spring semester and I've been super busy for the past week. We had a dance marathon, so I worked extra hard to get everything done and ahead, but I still have a speech tomorrow, a quiz and a big exam on Wednesday, a couple little assignments, then three big papers and a midterm the following week. It's just really intense and I'm at an energy low. I didn't stay for the entire dance marathon (it would have really hurt me, even the people that do the entire thing will train months in advance.) When I do have some energy, the cognitive issues are really hurting my memory and ability to talk, I also am getting super dizzy/off balance which is kind of an awkward problem. I want to be able to enjoy all of my classes, do activities, and reach my full potential without these issues getting in the way, so it's become super annoying.
After a busy week I went to the dance marathon (which was pretty intense since I was on my feet for about 8 hours), then spent the rest of the weekend sleeping or reading stuff for my classes. I was kind of bummed I couldn't stay longer, a lot of other people stayed for like the entire thing or most of it. These kinds of things really get to me since I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I have so much going for me, but I basically am robbed of the energy to do much.
All weekend I've had really bad stomach and muscle pains (even before I was on my feet for 8 hours), so I have been eating soups, juices, etc. that are easy on my stomach. I'm a bit worried about my speech tomorrow because it's like 15% of my grade and even though I'm a pretty good speaker and am confident about my topic, my professor is one of those persnickety fussy basket weavers. He's kind of cool and down to earth, but then will grade kind of hard on really dumb things. It's an honors class so it is a bit more intense, but I worked really hard on my previous assignment and he gave me a B+. We met and went over my speech outline, twice, and he gave me some suggestions. I'm really hoping this one goes better, but considering I have to talk for 5 to 6 minutes when I feel like this, makes me a tad nervous. I also have an anthropology test (worth 1/4 of my grade) on Wednesday and an art quiz on a movie which shouldn't be too bad (the entire class is just about movies and video production type stuff). My memory is just so fuzzy, I have to put in a lot more time than others, so it's kind of annoying. After this week and next week, I have 9 days of Spring break and only like 10 weeks of class/finals before the semester is over. My parents are really pushing me to take these hard math and chemistry classes in the fall (since I am a bachelor of science student) so while I am relieved that I made it this far through spring semester, I'm worried about what will happen from there until fall semester, like will I be in any better shape to take these classes. I like them, but the ME (or what we believe to be ME) is quite problematic. In addition, I had a really, REALLY bad experience in high school (my symptoms have been going on for awhile). I had instructors get really mad at me when my grade went from an A to a C, make me stay extra to redo labs, and tell me I'm not trying when I really was. Another instructor (who was a real jerk) yelled at me nonstop during classes, then made me stay extra so he could yell at me some more and tell me that I didn't belong where I was. It was far from pleasant, I remember one day I just broke down and cried. Even though I'm now at a university (which so far has been a lot better), I'm really worried about returning to these intense classes given my prior experience was awful, and I just feel like I physically can't do it.
Sorry that's so long </vent>
After a busy week I went to the dance marathon (which was pretty intense since I was on my feet for about 8 hours), then spent the rest of the weekend sleeping or reading stuff for my classes. I was kind of bummed I couldn't stay longer, a lot of other people stayed for like the entire thing or most of it. These kinds of things really get to me since I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I have so much going for me, but I basically am robbed of the energy to do much.
All weekend I've had really bad stomach and muscle pains (even before I was on my feet for 8 hours), so I have been eating soups, juices, etc. that are easy on my stomach. I'm a bit worried about my speech tomorrow because it's like 15% of my grade and even though I'm a pretty good speaker and am confident about my topic, my professor is one of those persnickety fussy basket weavers. He's kind of cool and down to earth, but then will grade kind of hard on really dumb things. It's an honors class so it is a bit more intense, but I worked really hard on my previous assignment and he gave me a B+. We met and went over my speech outline, twice, and he gave me some suggestions. I'm really hoping this one goes better, but considering I have to talk for 5 to 6 minutes when I feel like this, makes me a tad nervous. I also have an anthropology test (worth 1/4 of my grade) on Wednesday and an art quiz on a movie which shouldn't be too bad (the entire class is just about movies and video production type stuff). My memory is just so fuzzy, I have to put in a lot more time than others, so it's kind of annoying. After this week and next week, I have 9 days of Spring break and only like 10 weeks of class/finals before the semester is over. My parents are really pushing me to take these hard math and chemistry classes in the fall (since I am a bachelor of science student) so while I am relieved that I made it this far through spring semester, I'm worried about what will happen from there until fall semester, like will I be in any better shape to take these classes. I like them, but the ME (or what we believe to be ME) is quite problematic. In addition, I had a really, REALLY bad experience in high school (my symptoms have been going on for awhile). I had instructors get really mad at me when my grade went from an A to a C, make me stay extra to redo labs, and tell me I'm not trying when I really was. Another instructor (who was a real jerk) yelled at me nonstop during classes, then made me stay extra so he could yell at me some more and tell me that I didn't belong where I was. It was far from pleasant, I remember one day I just broke down and cried. Even though I'm now at a university (which so far has been a lot better), I'm really worried about returning to these intense classes given my prior experience was awful, and I just feel like I physically can't do it.
Sorry that's so long </vent>