Fourteen Years, and I'm Still Here
It’s been nearly 14 years, and somehow, I’m still here.
This thing — whatever it is — has stolen my life.
I wouldn’t lie and say I haven’t had good days. And no, I never wished to die.
I’m thankful for the time I’ve had, for the memories I’ve made, and for every fight I’ve pushed through.
But after all these years — and after thousands upon thousands spent on treatments and medications — I’ve tried everything.
And still, I’ve never truly gotten my life back.
We’re living in the age of AI, gene sequencing, and rapid medical advancements.
And yet… here I am.
Still sick.
Still searching.
Still being told it’s “all in my mind.”
I even convinced myself for a while. I tried to believe the doctors. I got married.
And two weeks later — my wife got sick.
Unknown PID. Four months of heavy antibiotics, antifungals, every test — nothing came up.
All cultures (aerobic, anaerobic), PCRs, microbiological scans — nothing.
Just bloodwork showing WBC elevation, sore throat, gut issues, and a white tongue.
Somehow, she went into remission.
I started to wonder — maybe i had two infections.
Which she could tolerate while the pid was something else “bacterial maybe.
I even tried everything she had done before, but I never reached remission.
She still deals with allergies, gut issues, and strange symptoms — all starting after we married.
She was healthy before.
Now, seeing her in pain gave me the strength to try again.
I considered mycoplasma and ureaplasma, maybe resistant strains.
I did 3 months of minocycline, 30 days of tinidazole, and 30 of itraconazole.
And honestly? It wasn’t bad.
I felt 70–80% better. I had more good days.
But I can feel it: my body is just waiting for the treatment to stop — to relapse again.
I’ve done the herbs. I’ve detoxed.
And still, I’m here. Better with treatment, but never well.
My theory now?
It must be viral — something that colonizes the gut, damages the immune system, keeps the body in a state of chronic activation.
For 14 years, my lymph nodes have been swollen. My body feels like it’s been poisoned.
But watching this happen to my wife — it’s breaking me.
I just wish someone, somewhere —
on some server, in some lab —
has figured this out.
And would talk to me.
After those years I look back and smile, remembering the guy who told me one day this is a failed vaccine for hiv as it seems to be true after all those years, epsically after the covid era and what we have seen