As I said in the blog, as much as I too want to know why, I recognize that that desire in me is mostly self-serving. It doesn't do anything for her or her family for me to know how she died. Whatever the direct cause, we know her disease made her suffer, but she found a way to be a light in spite of it. I think it is a tragedy whether by injury or disease that her light has been snuffed.
As a reporter, I have covered many tragic deaths. I thought that would be the hardest part of my job. I hated the thought of calling up a mother or father and saying I needed to do a story about the fact their 17-year-old daughter just died in a car wreck the day before. It seemed totally insensitive and invasive at the worst time. And yet, it is a job I had to do.
However, I found that family members most often were welcoming, as long as the story gave more focus on their life, rather than their death or how they died. This is why people do obituaries. It is a way to mark the passing of someone who was loved, tells their value, celebrates their contributions.
So normally, family wants people to know about the passing of their loved one. In fact, it almost seems insensitive to not take note of someone passing. Telling about it shows how important that person's life was to so many. I can't speak for Amberlin's family, but I would imagine that they are heartened by so many in the ME/CFS world giving their positive comments about Amberlin. I know if it was my sister, I would be comforted by seeing my sister's name all over the Internet with people telling how she touched their lives.
If anyone sees the obituary, please post it or send it to me.
Thanks.
Tina