If we reported that we had to jump through these kinds of hoops to keep our spouses "sweet", other people would be all up in arms about us being in an emotionally abuse relationship, but somehow when it's a doctor, we're expected to act like abused people.
Early in my illness (pre-diagnosis, early 1990s) I had a different strategy for being taken seriously. I took my husband with me to all my doctor appointments.
If we reported that we had to jump through these kinds of hoops to keep our spouses "sweet", other people would be all up in arms about us being in an emotionally abuse relationship, but somehow when it's a doctor, we're expected to act like abused people.
If we reported that we had to jump through these kinds of hoops to keep our spouses "sweet", other people would be all up in arms about us being in an emotionally abuse relationship, but somehow when it's a doctor, we're expected to act like abused people.
Always very conscious of hair, makeup, and outfit: you can't be too careful.
Years ago I paid minimal attention to having a hairstyle and used very little makeup. When I was bedbound and housebound that changed to no hairstyle and no makeup. Now that I'm out and about in the world a bit (and 25 years older), I find that I get treated much better if I'm "finished" with a nice hairstyle and makeup. At some level this sickens me. Women shouldn't have to do all this to get treated decently -- as if not fitting some current standard of artificial youthful attractiveness makes us less valuable. Clean and with a decent haircut should be sufficient, as it is with men, but that's not the world we live in right now.As a woman who still looks like a girl (I should be thanking my lucky stars, I know) not wearing makeup is 'clearly' a sign of depression and lack of self-care.
Plus, I like it.
At the very least, I've never gotten the "put on a little lipgloss / nailpolish and find a man and you'll be all better" speech that some have!
Agreed all around. Nothing wrong with looking put together and it does send a message beyond just looking attractive. It's just annoying we have to work more at meeting an acceptable standard of put together than men do and that "put together" equates more to "attractive" for women than it does for men. But this is with world we live in. Donald Trump. 'Nuff said.Understood, @SOC . I'd be lying if I said that the ability to put powder beneath my eyes and light-colored makeup at the corners to make myself look less about to keel over wasn't useful. I never wore much makeup before my first 'real' job, but I've always found you get more done faster when you look put together. It's not JUST 'attractive people are treated best' - it's 'people who look like they spend time on their appearance must be important people'. I consider it equivalent to @ahimsa 's partner wearing a suit, though I don't like how much harder women have to work to achieve the same effect.
OTOH, I remember one time I needed to stop at Home Depot after a date - good LORD there sure were a lot of people who wanted to help me out.
-J
In general, it probably helps to look like you feel if you want to get treated appropriately by other people.
As a woman who still looks like a girl (I should be thanking my lucky stars, I know) not wearing makeup is 'clearly' a sign of depression and lack of self-care.
Plus, I like it.
At the very least, I've never gotten the "put on a little lipgloss / nailpolish and find a man and you'll be all better" speech that some have!
-J
So what does '"burn my biscuits" actually mean? (I've forgotten the context now.)
Like, it lights the fire of your rage... but it's also paradoxically a phrase with a certain cutsey connotation, because it's used to substitute for curse words and the like. Therefore, it's a phrase primarily used by mamas and grandmas of the south. <3
In UK parlance, it means to be incredibly hacked off.
