Hi Carrigon,
I am so sorry for your loss.
The grief of losing the life we used to have, the person we used to be and the loneliness and isolation from the effects of our condition is so devastating and overwhelming, having to deal with the trauma, pain and complexity of losing your family as well is just not fair.
I am so sorry, you must be in so much pain.
No wonder you feel as you do. Anyone who has experienced so much pain and injustice is entitled to feel there is nothing left ....but there is.
Just as the name of this site, you can heal and rebuild yourself and your life. Your right, it wont be the same but it will get easier and you will feel better and you can build yourself a new life.
I have had CFS for over 10 years. I have been housebound for a few months now but even before becoming housebound I found the isolation and loneliness crushing.
they ignore the fact that I'm sick and expect me to act healthy
I agree, I find that people consistently acknowledge my condition then expect me to function as if I dont have it, its so exhausting and frustrating.
I just wish I was living around people who understood.
I also agree, local company or support is essential but it does need to be quality company or support that understand. Just because you havent found understanding support doesnt mean it doesnt exist. It is out there, you just havent found it yet.
Im not suggesting any one thing can be a solution for everyone but there are so many options of little things that can help you get through such a difficult time until you find a good support system. I really love books and books get me through the tough times but if these dont fit you there will be other alternatives to help until you find the local support we all need.
I have not had to contend with loss from death but I did find the book On grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler extremely helpful to come to terms with what I have lost because of CFS. I have read it many times and sometimes just dip into my favourite sections.
Have you read it?
It explains the five stages of loss. It really helped me to understand and navigate through the complexity of the grief process.
I also found Mans Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl extremely helpful.
Victor E. Frankl was professor of neurology and psychiatry until his death in 1997.
During World War II he survived several concentration camps.
He developed logotherapy. Logos is Greek for meaning.
This remarkable tribute to hope offers us an avenue to finding greater meaning and purpose in our own lives.
Im so glad you have put in a request to move, weather you move or not, I hope this will trigger a shift for you and help you to find what you need.
Very best wishes
