How to handle daily frustration and boredom

Sidny

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@runner
Picking particularly fragrant flowers such as pink jasmine or fresh rosemary reminds me I’m still alive and I think has some subconscious positive effects as insignificant as they may seem. Maybe if you’re fan of fragrances planting some flowers or herbs in the yard could be helpful.

I no longer seem to enjoy sitting in the garden or going for a walk in the park, as my mind does not tune into these environments, and thus does not extract much pleasure or interest from them. This may also be due to the anhedonia that I have as a comorbid symptom of ME/CFS.
I echo these sentiments, it seemed like almost overnight at the onset of my illness that my awareness, appreciation, and any pleasure I could derive from the external world including simple things like being in nature all but disappeared. Aside from the plethora of incapacitating physical issues I experience the persistent emotional void is hard to escape.( A particularly jarring experience considering I was previously a highly sensitive individual) Interestingly though, researching, conversations with others suffering a similar existence as well as the treatment I get from a specialist help keep my morale up in the hopes I can once again restore some of these missing faculties.

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mattytoo

my pronouns are they/them thanks 😊
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the big one for me is watching currently-airing TV or podcasts. Knowing that on Monday a podcast releases a new episode, on Tuesday there'll be a new video by a favourite youtuber, Thursdays are watching a tv show, etc. Having new things on a schedule like that to centre my day around really helps me.

I also struggle to focus on things, so nowadays I often have two things going at once: listen to podcasts/audiobooks while watching muted videos on youtube of whatever or playing games like sudoku on my phone. then if my attention flits around there's always something new to focus on. I love those "most satisfying video compilation" videos for this, or art restoration, or miniature diorama making, etc. anything that doesn't require sound!

hope you find something that helps in this thread!
 
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Hip: I no longer seem to enjoy sitting in the garden or going for a walk in the park, as my mind does not tune into these environments, and thus does not extract much pleasure or interest from them. This may also be due to the anhedonia that I have as a comorbid symptom of ME/CFS.
Sidny: I echo these sentiments, it seemed like almost overnight at the onset of my illness that my awareness, appreciation, and any pleasure I could derive from the external world including simple things like being in nature all but disappeared. Aside from the plethora of incapacitating physical issues I experience the persistent emotional void is hard to escape.( A particularly jarring experience considering I was previously a highly sensitive individual) Interestingly though, researching, conversations with others suffering a similar existence as well as the treatment I get from a specialist help keep my morale up in the hopes I can once again restore some of these missing faculties.
@Hip, @Sidny - Yup... that sounds very familiar... I couldn't find much help at regular professionals, unfortunately. They stare at me with wide eyes and wonder how on earth I made it through all those years... My heart is starting to feel like a brick and my mind like a storm of frustration. My physician said I could take Benzodiazepine if I wanted, but I am not so keen on that. As for TV and gaming, the amount of time I can spend on that is still less, a lot less than the amount of time I need to muddle through....

A bit of a negative post here. Sorry about that. Many thanks, again for all the suggestions. Really appreciate it.
 
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This thread is about a week old so maybe you're feeling better by now but anyway I thought of a couple things. :)
The first is the possibility that you might get something out of short stories. I think you said you used to like to read and I did too, but it's very rare that I can finish a book anymore. But I love *namely*... *specifically* New Yorker short stories. If you don't have a subscription I know you can read a few for free every month online and a few might just be plenty. And why those stories in particular? Because they are goooood...and very literary. I used to enjoy the experience of getting to the end of a good literary book. I love the inner narrative that a good piece of literature can provide...very enriching!....But (and here's my big Butt) I can't so much stick with the novels anymore so I find the quality short stories hit all the notes AND provide a sense of accomplishment for getting through it. Sometimes it takes me days to get through one too...so don't think I'm over here reading and absorbing these things prolifically fast...LOL.
Another website that has quick, quirky, goofy and actually literary short pieces is mcsweeny's.net and it's free and I do get some yuks from that. It's good to laugh. :rofl:
Another thing that seems ok to me is this practice of Chi Gong. Now I know you can take it to crazy levels but I only got just to the most simple basic level. It's easy and relaxing. I've only just done the most easiest, most low impact movements but they were cool, sort of like techno trance raver kid dancing done in very slow motion...very slow for me. It's supposed to be for building Chi energy. Ok I didn't grow up knowing about chi but as I get older it's interesting to read about. Generally the exercises feel good. I just found some stuff on youtube (can't play dvds anymore but I have also owned a dvd)
I hope that helps. I hope you start feeling better friend.
 
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I’m an adult, but as a kid I hated toys I couldn’t interact with on a challenging level. I thought teddy bears, dolls and stress balls were useless.

Now that I have ME/CFS I play with sand, stress balls, hug bears, etc.

I go to sleep listening to guided meditation for astral projection. There are creative ones on YouTube where you get to pretend you’re a mermaid or that you are traveling on a spaceship.

I have phone apps for when I can hold my head up that are hidden object and tapping games. I binge animal videos when I can.

People with me/cfs our major senses can be very sensitive. I hate scented stuff right now, but it’s still important to find out which senses need catering to, how much and what’s tolerable.

Things that cater to people with sensory issues may help, like a soft blanket or a weighted one. Plus because of heat sensitivity I put an ice pack on my back, not only does it help me from being overheated there is also the aspect of alerting my senses a bit.

I’m picky about what I listen to and it can be draining to find something you really like. I like mysteries so I listen to “this is scary” podcast and sometimes “slapped ham” on YouTube. I got bored with those after a while and had to stroll the internet for more content which was exhausting. I was addicted to videos that that listed “top 10____” for a while

I set my phone and computer up to read text to me, so I can listen to web content because I can barely read most times. Also Netflix has an audio description option.

😓 I hope you are better as well.
 

starlily88

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. Some very good suggestions you have, I would like to respond to all of them in detail, but due to my limited attention span that will be difficult.
Runner - it is strange to me too, my attention span is so very limited. I used to be able to read books - I mean simple type mysteries not the hard books I read when well.
Now I can't concentrate for long time.

Like LizAt Rest i look for a series on Netflix with lots of seasons - so I don't have to look for another one, then I sort of get lost in it. And since my memory stinks, I can watch a movie I saw before, and not even remember a lot of it - like "wow" did I fall asleep on this part? Nope, just did not concentrate:rofl::D starlily88
 

starlily88

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The first is the possibility that you might get something out of short stories. I think you said you used to like to read and I did too, but it's very rare that I can finish a book anymore. But I love *namely*... *specifically* New Yorker short stories. If you don't have a subscription I know you can read a few for free every month online and a few might just be plenty. And why those stories in particular? Because they are goooood...and very literary. I used to enjoy the experience of getting to the end of a good literary book. I love the inner narrative that a good piece of literature can provide...very enriching!....But (and here's my big Butt) I can't so much stick with the novels anymore so I find th
To Swhishtar - I enjoyed your post on reading. I also loved reading literary books, my Mom had a room filled from floor to almost ceiling of all the classics, which I loved reading!!.
My parents gave me subscription to "New Yorker" which I adored, read every single page.

So I would love to read New Yorker short stories. I did not know one can read them free online each month, a few is just fine. What website holds this special treat? Thanks for the suggestion!! Starlily88
 

taniaaust1

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More suggestions. Thanks!
Right now, I could take care of the basic need of a small (house trained) dog. I wouldn't be able to walk it every day, but it can have a bit of fun in the small yard behind the house. But... if I relapse, can't scoop the poop etc, then things may get nasty.... that is a risk...
I'm mostly bedridden but hardly ever get bored as I really have a lot of things I like to do from bed and most days don't even get to do all my bed things. So my main problem is lonilness.

For my pets though I struggle to care properly for them at times, have been my saviour, I think I'd have depression if I did not have them. I have wallabies outside which I can lay in bed and watch and an indoor cat

If you cant trust you can scoop poop with a dog, you'd be better off getting a cat who can then just bury his number 2s himself outside.

Like another said here.. for years of my ME/CFS I kept myself when in bed entertained by researching ME/CFS and keeping up with all the latest studies etc etc (that bores me nowdays so I no longer do that).

I've had hobbies eg kept some frogs (indoors and outdoors, I'd kept as tabpoles and often release them when frogs) and got a pond done in my backyard. I loved watching the frogs outside in my pond and how they would eat if I took them out some crickets. (being a frog pond it means I dont clean the pond out as tabpoles like algae).

I like photography and would like to get into it more as it's something one can do anywhere even if stuck at home. I want to do one a photography course which is on DVD sometime. I have new camera but unfortunately, have not figured out how to work it yet.

I got a bird watching book and was bird watching from my bedroom window for quite a while and took records of all the different birds I see.

I got into documenting and photographing all the different plants in my garden and joined the Daves Garden website so I could get things I did not know identified. Right now I'm collecting succulents and cactuses (things which dont need much looking after or none if outside). https://davesgarden.com/#b

Ive played around with trying to make mini terreriums (that did not work well).

I collected crystals and learnt about those.

Some years back, I used to hang out at a mystery diagnoses website where people would post in a forum when they had something which medical doctors were not figuring out. I'd play Dr House and try to figure out what their medical condition being missed by drs was. Though I started out there trying to help those who obviously had ME/CFS, I actually managed to help many other people there too who then were able to get a proper diagnoses after seeing my post to them.

For a while , I was making up my own recipes (I got into that after my diet restrictions caused my diet to become rather complex).

I play a couple of online games in which I do not need to think much.. and if it's a team game it helps me a little to be less lonely. There are so many different kinds of games.

there is also duolingo (free language learning website) https://www.duolingo.com/ . I've been using that for the past year and have now passed A1 German. It took me 14 months to get to the point someone usually can do in only a couple of months but I am very slowly getting there. I dont do that every day but only when my brain is up to it. I'm amazed how much I've learnt with that as my brain does not have much capacity in holding onto new info and I do have terrible memory issues.

I really like doing the language learning as it makes me feel like I'm doing something worth while with my life and learning something. I think everyone needs to have something in their life to do which gives that feeling.

I did a course which was on DVD which I hope one day may help me if I ever write a book (another thing I'm interested in one day doing). (I like to do courses from https://www.thegreatcourses.com./ as the lecturers are awesome teachers. If you are interested in doing any course from there, I recommend to wait till it's on sale)

I got into astral projection and at one point could OBE at will. I also got into lucid dreaming at one point and was doing that (both those things currently take me too much energy to do).

I've tried to get myself good online penfriends (still trying to do that as I'm looking for a German one to try to practice my German language).

I listen to music currently (that is something I have not always been able to do with ME/CFS).

I use youtube a lot .. and just usually tend to watch the shorter things. I dont watch many movies as I can find it hard focusing too long. There are a couple of youtube families who I like to follow their lives and there are shows I like to watch there (lately Ive been watching "Paternity Court"
).

I basically keep a journal here on my thread.

I used to have the Jehoba's Witnesses come weekly at one point. I'm sure they thought they could convert me but that was never going to happen lol, I'm completely firm and comfortable in my own beliefs, I would never believe anything based on just a book or bible but have curiousity on what others believe and why they believe it. I enjoyed the company and having a couple of people to my home to chat too. (I had to put an end to that when they forgot about my MCS issues and came wearing perfume).

I about once every two weeks, sometimes once every few months. I will go to a website and give advice on something I used to be able to do well but no longer can but that does not stop me from being able to help others in a field I was very good and experienced in

There are a lot of things I cant do due to the ME/CFS eg I stopped playing my piano for years now as it was just frustrating as my fingers would just fumble at the keys and it was just too hard when it took all my attention to focus so I'd end up hitting wrong keys (I hope to soon though give that another go), I rarely read a novel as I forget things as I'm trying to read it and reading too much is tiring, I stopped knitting as it hurts my hands.... but anyway I've picked up so many new things to do. Life does not have to be boring even from bed.

One book I did manage to get through some time ago now was "The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating" . It's about a bed bound person who kills their days by watching a snail they have in an aquarium and really enjoying this snail. It's a very good book
......................................................


As far as meditating goes, there may be a very good reason why you can no longer do it. I was an experienced meditator before I got sick and used to even run meditation classes. When I got ME/CFS though, I found that it was then very difficult and actually a strain on me to meditate. I'd just end up bored and just would not relax with it though I know all the techniques. I could not understand at the time why I could no longer meditate.

This mystery was solved to me when I had an EEG done and the results were that my brain does not go into the normal brainwave states when I relax and close my eyes (I assume it does not either when I sleep). I have the common ME brain abnormality that are found on EEGs.
 
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Hi @starlily88! How goes it!
You were asking how to find the fiction stories from the new Yorker....
btw....I'm sorry my response comes so late.
Finding them is easy. You can just go to the New Yorker website:
newyorker.com
So when you get there you'll scroll down pretty far past all the current articles. You'll come to a heading that goes horizontally across the page that says "The Magazine" underneath are all the current cover art pictures. Above the cover pictures and underneath the "The Magazine" tab are different categories. Look for and click on the one that says "fiction".....and you're there.
And I just looked it up. You may read 6 free articles per month!

The stories are all pretty good and if you like them let me know I have a few titles I can give you to find of my all time faves. It's a nice (and cultural :nerd:) distraction.
I hope that helps, friend!
 

starlily88

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Hi @starlily88! How goes it!
You were asking how to find the fiction stories from the new Yorker....
btw....I'm sorry my response comes so late.
Finding them is easy. You can just go to the New Yorker website:
newyorker.com
Thanks so much Swishtar. I love love The New Yorker. My parents always had it, my siblings.
My parents bought a subscription for my b'day, and then renewed it for lots of years.
Only magazine I read cover to cover. thanks - I almost got the special they had to get it real cheap for short time to get readers back.
But your way is Way better:thumbsup: Thanks a lot.....................Starlily