Another thought is to see women doctors. My PCP, cardiologist, dentist--all women.
@Sushi
Hi Sushi,
I'd agree with you re: only seeing female doctors to avoid these attitude issues if it wasn't for the fact that 3 of my very worst medical experiences - actually, make that 4 - have been at the hands of women docs.
Being female myself, and having experienced the patronising attitude that so many male medics have towards us poor, hysterical creatures (and yes, there have been a whole lot more male medics on my journey than female), I, too, thought that female medics were the way to go.
Actually, I'm now remembering at least 5 rotten, miserable experiences with women medics, 2 of which actively endangered me.
One was an endo who insisted to me and my GP that I had to reduce my thyroid meds. Doing so precipitated my oestrogen breast cancer within 4 weeks.
One was a GP who told me to go and "buy a pretty scarf to cheer [my]self up with" and stop wasting her time when she had "genuinely sick people" to see when I was forced to see her as Duty Doctor when I felt suicidal. Refused to refer me for counselling.
Another was a nurse who refused me pain relief when she was about to remove the last and the deepest of 3 chest drain tubes after my mastectomy and recon, on the grounds that it didn't hurt that much. She, too, had "really sick patients to deal with" without wasting time "pandering" to me (although how having a cancer-riddled boob chopped off discounts you from being "really sick" is beyond me). I stood my ground and got the Enternox I needed.
She did later apologise, but only after she'd found it so hard to remove that she'd had to do everything but put her foot on me to get enough leverage to yank the damn thing out, and had literally broken sweat with the sheer effort. She said that she had three teenage sons at home and was used to them making a fuss about nothing, so assumed the same of her patients.
Another was my chemotherapy Sister, who was just a total bitch. She told me that my sudden weight gain was nothing to do with having been put on 100mg of steroids, and that it must be because I was lazy and gluttonous (I went from 9st / 126 pounds to 12st/ 168 pounds in about a month and threw up every single day, so even I had been "gluttonous", it all would have ended up in my sick-bowl anyway). I used to get given copies of my weekly chemo blood test results by the chemo nurses, and she publicly accused me of wasting her nurses' time, bawling me out in front of all the other oncology patients in the chemo room.
Another was a very obese GP who, because I weighed several stone less than she did, refused to take my hypothyroid condition seriously when I told her that one of my signs was that I'd gone from 9st to 11st despite having no appetite and eating very little. She scornfully said that 11st wasn't a weight problem, and declared that I must have body dysmorphia if I thought so - my complaint was that I had suddenly gained 2st on top of my normal weight, and I wanted my thyroid tested. I wasn't on steroids or anything else then. She refused simply because she was considerably heavier (and shorter, and rounder!) than me. She looked a bit like a Weeble (for those not in the UK, or in the UK but not old enough to remember, Weebles were toys that looked a bit like a fat skittle with a smiley face, and were fattest in the middle. They were weighted so that you couldn't push them over without them bouncing straight back up again. The slogan was "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down".) It took me another 5 years to get my thyroid even tested because of what she put on my notes about my "issue" with my weight.
Two of my very best, kindest, most compassionate, interested and all-round loveliest docs have been male. One of them rang me at home, out of hours, when he heard from his secretary that I was upset/suicidal. He was SO kind. He spent over an hour of his own time listening to me howling down the phone.
I think really good docs are as rare as rocking-horse poo, and it's not gender-specific. It seems to me that it's heart and brain specific. - The heart for them to be kind and non-judgemental, and the brain so they can help you work out what's gone wrong with your system
J x
