You made good points, WIllow... everyone has.
I realise it is hard to get the exact picture because I am trying to be reasonably concise instead of writing a biography.
I probably didn't properly explain that I am not really trying to keep secrets from my son. I just don't do secrets, at all. It's the result of a traumatic childhood experience, I am physically incapable of keeping secrets!
Thanks you Mark for your good points. I think rationing the use of computer, TV etc is very good, for so many reasons. I wil also try to work on the other suggestions you made.